I think English itself is lacking a bit here—ie: it’s very common to say “you guys”, semi-regardless of gender of the subjects, because we don’t have a 2nd person plural tense.

The original line was a joke-ish, so here are some options given that context.

“Ma,am” - very formal, often read as exaggeratedly polite. You’d be most likely to see this in a customer service context, hence the meme: “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” when people rant inappropriately.

“My dear” - gent(/i)le, but can be read as misogynistic or belittling if you’re a man, especially one of higher “status”. From a female and/or peer, reads more as motherly advice. Use with caution.

“Lady” - sort of splitting the difference. Formal, but more what you’d hear from a grumpy bus driver. Probably funniest option here.

“Girl”/“gurl” - slangy and youthful, more a loan word from the drag community. You’d probably get downvoted on HN for it and upvoted on Reddit.

“My dude” - more current jokey response, it’s been churned through Twitter and youth culture to the point where it’s meaningless enough that “dude” almost works for either gender. Probably don’t use this one, might even get downvoted on Reddit.

Edit: god, sorry this turned out long, but it’s a pretty fun exercise.

Case, not tense, technically. "Tense" is for verbs.

English does have a variety of ways of indicating second person plural: "ya'll", "y'ins", "you all", and "you guys" are the most common. It's a shame English discarded "ye".

I like your alternate suggestions. In my family, we started using "bro" as gender neutral, at first ironically and now it's just stuck. I call my daughters "bro" all the time.

I assume it's a turn of phrase that's more common in some other languages?