I also had the freedom of nobody knowing or caring where I went and how late I came home (=greater responsibility for planning my time).

But I understand what you mean - i had a childhood friend who went to a 2 years vocational school after highschool (during which he lived at home) and then enlisted in the army for 4-5 years (in a non-combat technical role). I suspect the army basically takes care of you when you live on base because afterwards he moved back home & I got the feeling he pretty much stayed stuck in a child role for years later (may be complicated by mental health issues).

I think never having had to really be completely responsible for himself held him back.

Many in industry and service sector who are ‘company men’ and never quit their first job until retirement also face the same problem. Double edged sword.

in other words, the objectivity has to come from someone who has been on the receiving end without having been part of the system.

For example: If I am Indian and I have an accent. Whether it’s understandable to Americans should be deemed by Americans. Not Indians.

If anything I am decidedly (perhaps obcessively) less conformist than most developers I have worked with BECAUSE of my military experience.

This really sounds more like a personal problem that you're projecting onto tens of millions of people. Perhaps "this generation" (whatever that means) has burnt bridges with their family because they offer nothing but baseless, judgmental platitudes about the demise of the youth?

Relax, friend. There is nothing new under the sun. The current generation isn't better or worse than those that came before. The world changes here and there, but most things stay the same. Don't fret so much about the future of civilization. Be present and let the rest unfold as it will.

I suppose here there is a distinction to be made between "never left" and "came back."

Though I guess often the "came back" turns more into "my parents live with us."

I don't think there's anything wrong with kids and parents living together long term, but I agree that there needs to be the forced maturation of having to deal with your own problems at some point in between.

It's the kids who are 25 and don't know how to open a bank account that are the worry.

I remember helping a 30 year old do laundry because they had never done it in their entire life.

A good analogy might be a programmer. It's a night and day difference between being on a team where someone else does the hard stuff and just pushes dumb tasks your way, versus striking out on your own and having to figure everything out.

Hey, you can figure out life as an adult even while living with your parents. Of course this does not mean spending your day in front of a PlayStation. Living with your parents in your 20's is a great money saver, and it's actually the norm outside the english speaking world. The only downside are decreased sexual opportunities, if you are in that sort of thing.

I live in one of them. English is my third language.