How well they work depends on the amount of effort you're putting in. Since Javascript is easy and offers a very rich attack surface, there seems to be little rain to really plunge the depths of other layers.

JS does way more then just fingerprint users and open up security vulnerabilities. You're in a minority that's asking for fall-backs in a world that's so far removed from simple <noscript> fixes.

So they're going to expect me to leave a major malware and privacy-invasion vector open so they can indulge in creating their 'web experiences'.

Nope. This sounds like kids playing around, not professionals working.

Indeed, and I made mine. No ads, not tracking, no risk of malware, no need for virus scanner, high speed page loading (ahem, when it works). Worth it? For me, sure! Peace of mind means a lot to me.

What's so hard about making web pages that don't use unnecessary tech?

This would seem an opportune moment to point out that modern does not always equal good.

What the hell are 'modern web experiences'? If you mean unacceptably slow, jittery pages loaded with megabytes of useless crappy data whose only purpose is to spy on users then I don't need them. I always avoid sites like that (and there's plenty more fish in the sea).