All easier said than done of course, and sometimes a no-zero goal is just to get out of bed... but it has helped me.
For anyone interested I got the idea from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_ju... The style and language of the post are not really my cup of tea, but the ideas behind it have really helped me.
I think virtually any doctor would agree that my half-ass, crappy exercise at the gym is still almost certainly better than me sitting at home and watching TV, even if it's not the most optimal way of doing it.
[0] https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/if-you-stop-thinking-of...
Edit: Just want to plug Allie Brosh here. This comic is maybe the best description I've ever read on how depression is experienced: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-par...
Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/b357/87b9b21486d00458e85f8b....
Just a note: your link is not working; here's a link to the paper, directly form Dr. Neff's homepage: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/...
Whatever it is, you can start small. Fold one pair of socks. Clean one dish. Vacuum one room.
I think a lot of people don't see any purpose in making a bed.
I don't see a point in making the bed though - I can lie typing this just as well in a bed that's unmade. I feel similarly about cleaning up the dust in the apartment - it just doesn't bother me. I don't know if it's depression or nirvana...
If you're talking about work tasks, that seems more likely to be from occupational burnout. Here's a comparison chart that might be helpful: https://mdedge-files-live.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/files/s...
For my non-work related projects (open source software, home system builds, woodworking, 3D modeling) I wish I could hire a project manager to oversee my work on them. (would that be a variation of hiring a life coach?)
Boss as a Service – Hire a boss, get stuff done
Then again, sleeping in fresh sheets after a shower is supremely satisfying and might also count.
It's a relativistic conclusion that, whenever I'm a bit happy, I tend to naturally care more about making beds, picking nicer clothes, etc
So I can accept that thinking not doing these can be a sign.
I myself tried the approach mentioned, during therapy, without any success: Achieving something just didn't produce any positive effect for me. Then I got treated (as last resort) with ECT, my condition improved temporarily, and suddenly, within the same therapy, I started to feel an effect and was able to stabilize.
In short: Propsing "Do <x>, it most likely will help you" is not a good idea, as it is quite depressing for the depressed (at least for me it was). Maybe it's better to say sth like "Try <x>, maybe it helps, if not, there is also <y> or <z>. There is a lot that can be tried, maybe something might help you. "
(1) A doctor explained it to me like that: "depression" is more like a term to group together conditions that partially share symptoms, and that is it basically used for handling the insurance stuff etc. For treatment (at least for severe depressions), the term is too rough to be useful. E.g. a lot of severely depressed people also show symptoms of psychosis as side effect.
EDIT: Formatting and reformulated a bit (I think I was too harsh)
This part is hard. I've met people who have difficulties coming to terms with the fact that they're (even temporarily) unable to do something which used to be part of their routine.
Somehow through the act of forcing yourself you find you’re actually enjoying yourself, are making progress and feeling better.
Saying this is also the quickest way to get shunned out of the room by anyone with depression.
Fun fact: research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is more effective at changing brain chemistry than drugs. Tricking yourself into doing things is a lighter form of CBT so I heartily recommend it to everyone.
Or as my psychiatrist once said: Drugs don’t mean you’re broken or that this is outside your control. They just give you the space to fix it. CBT is the actual long-term solution.
> Somehow through the act of forcing yourself you find you’re actually enjoying yourself, are making progress and feeling better.
I tried this approach. The "you find you're actually enjoying yourself" part never came. It left me profoundly exhausted, disappointed, and hopeless to the point of being suicidal.
I'm glad that you found an approach that worked for you, but depressive disorders are highly complex and poorly understood phenomena that aren't suited to neat little explanations of "the actual" solution.
Didn't work. Moderately enjoyed it. Would get home, then... crash. Back into the spiral.
Fast forward a couple of years. In a better place, somewhat. Try again, what the hell I'm bored and can only play so much HZD and BotW. It was surprisingly better this time. Started making friends. Texting.
Feels good. Better, at least.
So maybe you aren't in a place where that works for you right now. Maybe it will one day. Don't close yourself off to it completely, though. It's helped others, so who knows.
But the rewiring of your brain is the most important thing I feel in combating depression and getting somehow your lizard brain engaged in the "normal" things. For some reason I have felt that losing the connection to your primal desires (or the real you) is often the trigger, that will cause your body to tell you "hey, you are doing something wrong - please fix it". I know self-blame is the last thing any depressed person needs, but I think positive action and experiences are definitely key-part in overriding the negative thinking patterns. Things such as social connections, the feeling of belonging to a group and physical exercise.
Yet for certain, if you feel you are pushing yourself too much to me it says that there are deeper problems unsolved under the surface, that should be reworked with maybe a psychotherapist before going on a trip around the world. Or maybe it's a chronic chemical imbalance that just can't be fixed (eg Abraham Lincoln). Who knows.
To me physical exercise was like a magic cure that did feel like a natural depression medicine when you get the feeling of progress. Then other positive things started to build on top of it.
> I think positive action and experiences are definitely key-part in overriding the negative thinking patterns. Things such as social connections, the feeling of belonging to a group and physical exercise.
Here's the thing: I'm not sure I've genuinely had a positive experience in a long time (maybe decades). I'm not sure I've ever experienced "the feeling of belonging to a group" in an emotional sense. I routinely do things and have interactions that I can intellectually analyze as having been positive accomplishments, but for me there's a disconnect such that this simply fails to add up to a positive experience. As far as I can tell, most approaches to therapy don't even acknowledge this as a possibility, let alone have a method to address it. Those that do acknowledge it tend to have a questionable-to-nonexistent body of scientific evidence and are often phrased with a weird mythical/quasi-religious/metaphorical quality such that I'm often confused as to what advocates or practitioners are even trying to say once they move on from discussion of symptoms.
She's an anxiety therapist, so I tell her my anxiety is holding me back from connecting with others, but part of me suspects that my inability to "feel" the connections is the real problem.
The problem of time turns up in multiple kinds of treatments, and I believe it has simply to do with how long the depressive episodes last. Usually by the time people seek treatment that will be at the peak of the episode. Regardless of the treatment, a couple bunch of month will pass and people find themselves getting better. I suspect most depression studies a deeply flawed because of this effect. At some point the treatment will stop working. But it's not that the treatment stopped working, it's that a new depressive episode has begun and the treatment never really did all that much in the first place.
When I see myself slipping into a depressive episode, I circuit break it before it gets bad. Remind myself that overall life is pretty good, distract myself with work, take a break, or whatever else seems like it might help.
And most of all: dont follow the spiral. Jump out while I still can.
Because while it is good for your physical health, mentally it feels much worst then doing nothing. It reminds you of everything you cant do anymore. It makes you feel like shell of yourself. It also feels empty and you get none of the good felling you get from full workout.
One of the biggest force multipliers for me was accepting myself the way I am, and living with my depression. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, and Bipolar. I've been on several SSRIs for a year, but I've quit it all. I found out that drugs are good to calm me down, but they make me so normal to the point of boredom. I could no longer hyper-focus to build/design products.
When I researched it I found out that creativity is strongly linked to depression. It made sense...I couldn't imagine Picasso, Kakfka, Shakespeare, and all the creative great thinkers/artists living a life like not-depressed-people.
When my doctor, and the head of the Psychiatrist dept tried to influence my decision I said that I love myself when I hyper-focus.
I love it when I'm randomly strolling the streets thinking about all the silly things other people think I'm wasting my time thinking about.
I love it when I read the depressing thoughts/ideas of great philosophers like Russell, Wittgenstein, and Kant.
I love it when I look at depressing paintings by Munch, Picasso, and Van Gogh.
It remains one of life mysteries to me why we are trained to reject depression and loneliness..why we, hackers and artists, are trained to live by unwritten rules of how we should live our lives..
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.” ― Nikola Tesla.
Also just making sure you don't trying and deliberately alter your moods with caffeine, weed, or amphetamines will keep you relatively stable (even without drugs). Although if you start having a full blown episode it's worth keeping what I said above in mind.
Sorry if the advice is unwelcome. This is just what I found helpful.
People with bipolar often use caffeine, weed, or even amphetamines to deliberately trigger hypomania. Feels good, but unfortunately it also increases the frequency of depressed episodes. It's like Karma.
When I stopped supplements, I couldn't get myself to lift for even 15 minutes. I lost all my stenght and got depressed.
Definitely, it warps your perspective badly.. my conclusion is to never think over sadness. I'm sure we're mostly supposed to be hugging loved ones, walk or sleep.
> And most importantly, depressed people almost never want to hear someone else telling them that they should do something to change their own condition.
I'll add an exception. They/we do.. we just need someone we can relate to closely. To an absurd level even.. because whenever you can finally talk openly and feel someone gets you, the mental pain lessens rapidly.
It's also one of the most difficult and delicate ideas to communicate to a depressed person. Depression notoriously clouds peoples' judgment and makes simple tasks seem impossible. Depression also encourages a lot of binary thinking, where people tend to give up because they can't achieve the optimal solution and can't imagine anything in between optimal and complete failure. And most importantly, depressed people almost never want to hear someone else telling them that they should do something to change their own condition. If you've ever been through a depressive episode, you'll understand how unpalatable this idea is if it's not delivered carefully. Be careful to not make depressed people feel even worse about their condition.
For example, I've known several depressed people who spiraled deeper into depression when they could no longer perform their regular 60 minute gym sessions multiple times per week. It took a while for them to accept that a 5-minute walk around the block is better than no exercise at all. From there, they could push to 10 minute walks on good days, then 20 minutes, then 30 minutes, and eventually work their way back up to gym visits. Taking those tiny steps is a great way to re-learn that you can accomplish things, and it's a great to way to see gradual progress in yourself.