> "The nail that sticks out gets knocked down."

Ever since I first heard this I've kept both this phrase and the phrase "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" in mind at the same time.

Basically, both sides of this coin together ask you "should you speak up?" type of thing; substitute "speak up" with whatever the given situation is.

It is interesting to ponder why we do either.

We hammer nails because we want a flat surface. We grease wheels because we want quite wheels.

If you get the hammer or the grease depends upon what is needed to fix the problem. Do you need a punishment or a reward.

We Dutch have a similar proverb: "Whoever sticks his head above ground level, his head is cut off. "

Tall poppy syndrome, which can be oppressive in Northern Europe.

Germany seems more relaxed than the Netherlands, and France seems to be worse. I've had friends telling me their Mercedes got frequently keyed for no reason, and the old Mercedes star on their classic even got ripped off.

French guy here.

There is a proverb in France that says that to live a happy life, you'd better keep a low profile (not literal translation which would more be to live a happy life, live hidden) "vivons heureux, vivons cachés".

So yes if you own nice things and show it publicly, you'll get annoying comments, have them damaged or stolen. And it is getting worse.

Unlike in Japan, I would not expect a lost wallet to be returned to its owner, never.

That's very true in Germany. They do have a lot of freedoms, but they aren't very creative as a society. They fall back on strong adherence to rules and their culture re-enforces it.

See this:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/expatlife/10599631/Why-the...

I don't think creativity and adherence to social rules lie along the same axis. Strictures can spur and channel creativity. And the absence of strong normative behaviors doesn't coincidence with greater creativity--there are plenty of countries, mostly undeveloped, where people generally do anything they want[1], but there's not much creativity going on.

As the rest of the world industrializes and the deficiencies and costs of our own social fabric are revealed in comparison, Americans seem to increasingly like to distinguish ourselves as "creative". But it's really just a euphemism intended to characterize our differences in a way that permits us to claim that we're "better" at something. Back when the U.S. was a leading industrial power house, when our democratic institutions were unique, there was no need to identify a specific quality like creativity to distinguish ourselves.

[1] I've been in at least one country where the very concept of a line seemed foreign to most of the people, who were within months or years (not even generations) removed from an nomadic lifestyle. This was qualitatively different than in some other countries with aggressive line jockeying and cheating.

" and the old Mercedes star on their classic even got ripped off."

That was a competition for punkers. Who could get the most of these stars ...

That seems a lot less elegant a phrase...

I'm guessing it sounds a lot more elegant in Dutch...

Not really. It's a literal translation, and it's just as bad.

I typically follow that with a warning that the wheel that squeaks too much or too loudly gets replaced. A personal lesson on appeasement or the value of conformity, I suppose.

And in Japanese there are a plenitude of idioms about not standing out. The high post gets hammered down, the tall flower gets pruned, and the speeding car gets stopped are others I've encountered.

Wasn't there a story a while ago how a Japanese school essentially forced (or put a lot of pressure) a schoolgirl to dye her hair to fit in with the other girls, but it failed over and over until she got burns on her head?

Another regarding gender expectations is the recent news that a (maybe more than 1?) Japanese medical school's admissions staff were rigging standardized test scores to disfavor women applicants. This is because they were seen as less reliable / career-oriented or productive (or whatever justification) for not favoring them to receive the education that men deserve.

Expectations.

This wasn't a case of gender discrimination. It wasn't a requirement that girls have black hair specifically, but that students do. The issue is the assumption that black == natural, which for people who aren't ethnically Japanese may not be the case

It isn't an irrational bias thing. Women in Japan are pressured to stay at home to take care of the kids, so they're less likely to work as much as a men.

Bias is bias. Not to mention this can cause vicious cycles where women don't progress in their career due to a perception they'll become homemakers -> are pressured to work less because the career is going nowhere -> continue to not progress.

There was a ban on unnatural hair colours. A foreign student was told to dye her hair black.