Eh, you don't need to get zero ass to make observations about the "dating market". If you can't acknowledge that dating definitely is a crapshoot and can't enumerate some reasons why, then you simply haven't tried.

But there's this meme that any time you lament a negative experience about dating as a man, you're called an incel, an epithet that comes with so much baggage it has no place for HN, imo. Just speak to their points independently.

Being disabled sucks pretty bad. Here's a paraplegic justifying his suicide at the end of his essay: http://www.2arms1head.com/ -- I think stepping in to call someone an incel is just some weird shaming. I'd attract a minuscule fraction of the women I currently if I were a blind guy assuming I even hold it together enough to remain positive. I completely sympathize with their catharsis.

Thanks for introducing me to 2arms1head...I've never read anything like this before.

No it's not, he's speaking experience backed by both evolutionary science and statistics, you're speaking politics: http://i.imgur.com/L9Vu4Zo.png

As with most context-free statistics, this seems to be more complicated that it initially appears.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/a6e5mm/and_women_c...

> Men used it a ton more and women didn’t because they didn’t have to since men mostly did the reaching out. Basically men and women used the rating system differently.

> Also the study the data came from stated that despite the ratings, women consistently messaged both guys they ranked attractive and guys they ranked below average, while men consistently ONLY messaged the women they ranked absolutely topmost. Thus demonstrating that the messaging habits of the sexes are the reverse of the rating data.

whether there are flaws in the analysis or not, every reasonable person knows that if you go to a social setting like club for example, a woman can get laid pretty much anytime as long as she's willing, she only has to signal she is down to it and there will be plenty of men who will jump on board ... now try to go to club as a man and signal your willingness to get laid ... you'll get zero ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBtF3I7fDfU there's many such videos ... is anyone surprised by the results a great deal of men say yes, when reversed, and a jacked model looking guys asked women for sex guess the results 0.

The reality is that men are willing to have sex with broader range of women while most women want the same guys as all other women ... this is evolutionary as for a guy to reproduce bears no risk so he wants quantity while a woman is incapacitated for 9 months minimum, therefore the choices.

The above guy who called the poor dude an incel just acted like an idiot.

Please don't take HN threads further into generic flamewar. Would you mind reviewing https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and sticking to the rules when posting here?

Are you seriously bullying lonely disabled men on a programming forum?

"Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith."

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

fwiw i don't see it either

I don't see how I'm bullying him. I told him that he should not resign himself to being lonely due to his disability, because I think that his understandable distress about his issues might lead him to perceive his situation as bleaker that it is from that standpoint.

Telling someone that their situation isn't how they think it is, unless you've taken the time first to establish a real connection with that person—one that they can feel—is likely to come across as a dismissal of their experience and a putdown. I'm sure your intention is to help, but this is a way to hurt rather than help. Bluntly firing facts at someone, assuming they are facts, is definitely not going to do it. The truer the information, the worse the effect: in order to shield themselves from the blow, they will defend against the truth, which moves them further away from a solution.

If you want to help, the first question is how to create a felt connection with the other person, which will give them some reason to be open to what you're saying. That's not so easy to do on the internet, though maybe sometimes possible. Words like "I have significant sympathy for him" and "his understandable distress" aren't sufficient though.