Sivers legally forced himself to give nearly the entire value of his company (~$22,000,000 - (5% per year of living)) that he had worked years to build to charity, and that can be verified pretty easily.

It's safe to say he's a better person than most, and this article isn't really advice in the sense you seem to be implying. Using a holier-than-thou tone probably doesn't help your case, very much.

I know D Sivers visits HN and we can be civil and polite about analyzing his text separately from his intentions. If you read some of the other HN replies in this thread, DS's wording has clearly rubbed some (not all) the wrong way. Imo, here are some example sentences that some readers may not like:

>Other families come to the playground for twenty or thirty minutes, but we stay there for hours.

>Nobody else can play with us like this. Everyone else gets so bored.

Regardless of DS's charities and wholesome intentions, that type of text above will always be percieved by some as humblebrag and condescension toward other parents. Some will roll their eyes and think of the Willy Wonka meme: https://www.google.com/search?q=condescending+wonka&source=l...

For a subset of irritated readers, it's DS written text that seems to have the "holier-than-thou" vibe.

That said, most of DS blog posts have that similar tone so some readers will always smile and nod along while others will find it a turnoff. One can't please everyone.

Better than most who make millions, not than general population. Who knows, maybe the millionaires are "worse" than the average in this regard.

That is a very common tax shelter rich people use to avoid paying capital gains tax, called a CRUT. It hardly makes him a saint.

Raising a child looks like it's a game of, "How few orders of consequences can I reach before I see how my child's behavior is my responsibility?" to some parents.

Some parents take this to a negative place by blaming themselves for their kids negative traits, especially so if their kid is dominated by those traits. Other parents claim credit for the wonderful things about their kid, again especially so when the kid is defined by those positive traits.

It takes a wholly different kind of parent to be proud of how they're effecting their kid before they even know how the kid ends up turning out, setting aside the reality that parents are only one part of the vast swirl of influence a child experiences.

The pushback to this article might come from Sivers pre-supposing his kid is better off for having his father treat him as he does.

Most importantly, he has time in a way most working parents do not.

Maybe that changes your perspective of how applicable his views are to your situation.

The real funny thing is that he's not even telling you what to do. He just spends a lot of time with his kid and wrote about why it makes him happy.

Is he not supposed to give advice because of the age of his offspring? What age children and how many ought one to have before giving parenting advice?

It seemed like good advice to me, and I liked the point that in the end he's doing it all for himself.

This guys is a freshman parent, but he does have a few good points.

He is in for a surprise when he has more kids and simply cannot put as much time into each kid.

But, at the same time I would raise my expectations. I did this for the later kids and it's made them harder workers and more responsible.

I would spend more time teaching them to enjoy work instead of play. Find the joy of accomplishment.

I would never ever (ever again) overlook disrespectful, rude or nasty behavior in any way. Because a 3 year old making nasty faces is cute, but a 16 year old making the exact same face she has made for years is hurtful, insulting and simply aggravating.

I would recognize that almost all the bad behaviors a child has is the same I have, but without any adult filters to hide it properly.

I would be so much more vigilant about knowing what my kid is dealing with at school. We had a few really bad teachers that really affected my kids poorly and it broke my heart to only learn about it after the fact.

I would teach my child to be strong, brave and have real courage. Give her opportunities to have courage and really demonstrate how to stand up to others.

But I would do all of these things patiently. I would let her fail and not be angry. Failure is fine, as long as they know what is right and good to do, they will try again. But I was harsh on failure and it drove a wedge between my oldest daughter and me, that I had to work hard to repair after she had left home.

There are about a dozen moments in my kids lives over many years where I really wanted to not have to do something or face something. And the failure I had with my oldest gave me the resolve to not fail at it again. Things like making excuses not to spend time on something, or justifying not correcting bad behavior.

Which brings up another minor issue about behavior, I learned that you just have to tell a child what you expect them to do for almost all problems to be solved. I can often refer to my own behavior and say "do what I do".

I corrected mass family issues by simply fixing my own personal problems as well. Instead of trying to correct everyone else's, they came around to see I didn't tolerate or engage in the behavior I wanted to change in the family.

I could go on and on with this stuff, but ultimately, things changed and I dealt with my kids better when I made everything my own personal responsibility to resolve and doing so in a way I wanted to be treated. I know this sounds almost trite, but when you do it for real at first you don't get results, but if you permanently change, everyone around you can't help but see it.

I found that being kind and loving to my kids over all things, and taking full responsibility openly in front of the family (meaning I would gather everyone together to apologize for something I had done in front of the whole family) gives me a permanent solution to all future problems. You just can't foresee what each kid is going to be dealing with or what problems they will bring to the table, so I needed the ultimate answer to give me a strong base to solve issues from.

Last, I grew up in an abusive home, no details needed, but it was damn near a nightmare most of my childhood. And I thought (with my first kid) that suffer made a kid stronger and able to deal with the harsh realities of life. But this is not true at all. Kids who have a hard life can barely get up in the morning let alone face yet another struggle. So, after seeing this massive failure (I learned this from my mother, she said it plainly so I am not assuming this theory from her) I started to build my kids up. Tell them that hard work, doing your best and encouraging them to not give up and to face hardship head on made happier and more solid kids. Now when the younger kids face something hard, they take it in stride, where my oldest still struggles with somethings that I regret so badly for not helping her learn to face.

Sorry this got so long. You are raising adults, not children. The goal of parenting is a solid, happy, humble, brave, wise adult... (fill in your own here of course, these are only a few I could think of)

People are born with an innate ability to parent equally as well as anybody else. All parents are fantastic at it.