Most planes I fly on, the middle seat is not wide enough for them to do anything else. Three full-sized males sitting next to each other will be physically touching shoulders.

For real. I always think of this bit[1] while I'm riding in the middle.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFx1Cpxpx1E

Great bit!

Didn't know this was a thing, I feel bad now. I've probably taken someone's armrest before who sat in the middle. :(

That was a great read. Thanks!

Whoever takes the armrest first gets priority. It may cause your lifetime happiness to have a little more volatility but since everyone has the same random chance of getting the middle seat, still fair.

Your chances of getting the middle seat go up as the other seats are taken, meaning that a lot of the people in the middle seats are people who had to book that ticket on short notice: death in the family, emergency business trip, other flight got canceled, etc.

The airline's already got "being crappy to the person who's having a crappy day" covered. Don't be the human embodiment of an airline.

I flew in a lot of middle seats and it’s because I was a young unattached guy booking last minute trips at high prices.

If you think getting the middle seat is random chance I’ve got news for you.

Go buy a plane ticket right now. Don't even need a credit card to get to "choose a seat" and you will see, all the aisle and window seats are taken by default.

You have to pay extra to not get a middle seat.

It's actually a bit annoying to have to explain this to you based on your childish reply.

What airline is this? I haven't noticed this. As long as I get the tickets early enough, there are always window and aisle seats available.

I think it depends on the airline. Most of the budget European airlines I fly with will allocate you a middle-seat by default if one is available when you choose the free "give me a random seat" option at check-in. I presume this is to give away their paid seat inventory as slowly as possible, and also because by giving the passenger the worst available seat you get more value from paying to choose your own seat. Of course: they have a limited number of middle seats to give out so I've found that a good strategy is to check-in five minutes before the online check-in cutoff time which usually yields window/aisle seats and frequently (~30%) exit-row seats.

I prefer window, and I get window basically every time.

Airline "Southwest" allocates most seats based on when you click "check in". If you check in earlier, your boarding position is closer to first, and your chance of getting a desired seat goes way up. You can pay extra to board earlier ("Early bird") for $15. They don't have classes (there is no "first class" or business or coach) but you can pay for other features like cash-refundable tickets or boarding first.

Airline "Delta" simply lets you book your seat, so if you buy reasonable early, you can book a desired seat.

For other airlines, if the cost to upgrade to a window seat is on the order of $10-15, then I do it.

So I think your experience is limited to a small number of airlines, and your description of the OP as "childish" is poor.

Southwest Airlines early check in is $35 at ticket purchase time or $40 at the gate. When flying with my family that’s an extra $200. I like southwest but this is one thing I really dislike about them.

Perhaps it depends on the flight; mine are always $15.

See https://www.southwest.com/early-bird/

What airline charges extra for non-middle seats? I’ve never seen that.

Any airline that sells Basic Economy tickets (without seat pre-assignment) does by allowing seat choice for Economy tickets and above.

In fact, Frontier charges more for the middle seat. I assume this is because middle-seaters are likely to be a couple/family wanting to sit together and forced to pay the premium. No solo traveler would willingly purchase a middle seat, so you don't need to optimize for pricing the middle seats for them.

Seems this wouldn’t work very well. Pick the aisle and window; middle will always trade IME. If you need three across, book aisle, window, and a nearby aisle and you again have tradable seats.

Or book aisle and aisle for a couple.

Maybe they’re just picking up a few bucks from people who aren’t this clever.

I’ve seen this a lot more over the last few years with US carriers. The bottom tier ticket doesn’t let you choose and you have to pay more to get a choice (aisle or window).

It definitely used to be more of a first-book-first-choice policy but now they’re using it as another upsell.

Air France and KLM and Lufthansa don't charge more for aisle/window.

This is categorically untrue.

To whomever can take AND hold the armrest go the spoils of victory. What care I for plaintive cries of "fairness" when nature provided me the means to take the armrest I deserve from less capable arms?

I bet you get a lot of crotch in the face for your actions. Hot, seething, sweaty crotch from every person in the middle seat. The reason people choose civility is that eventually everyone benefits. Lack of civility immediately makes it worse for everyone. People in planes are already miserable, no reason to make it worse unless you enjoy causing others misery, which says more about you than anyone else.

That's why I always begin a flight by bludgeoning my neighbor into unconsciousness.

I personally smear my own feces on the armrests, having come prepared with plastic arm sleeves so that it doesn't get on me.

Please don't do this here.

Sorry, won't happen again.