Ask HN: Reached rock-bottom low point in my life – how to get back up?
This is the 2nd time in my life that I turn to HN for help. The first time, I already thought I was kind of in a bad shape. But tonight, I reached a new low point. I have been out of a job for a long time. Currently, my only income is from a small remote job that requires no special skills. I can only survive on it, because I moved to a developing country in Southeast Asia. But this is a dead-end. I need to change - everything. I know the best way would be through a job that would allow me to gradually learn new skills. I don't really care that much about pay. I can survive on a few hundred dollars a month. Although I would like to say that I'm willing to do almost anything, I also know my limitations. I previously created some websites on my own using Ruby on Rails. But I'm probably quite far from a 'real' hacker who enjoys coding so much, they do it in their free time as well. For me, programming is just a tool to get what I want. Also, I always struggled a lot with front-end development and would often get frustrated when things didn't work. I never quite gave up on becoming a real developer - however, at the same time, I never had enough motivation to practice on my own until I would have reached a professional level. I believe the only way would if I could receive a lot of guidance. I did think about attending one of those coding bootcamps, but 1st, they are very expensive, and 2nd, they seem to be high-stress environments - and there is my other big weakness, I really don't respond well to stress at all. So, I guess what I'm hoping to find is some sort of coding internship where I could really very slowly grow into the role - without much pressure. I don't know how much sense that makes or if it's even remotely realistic. But I just thought I would give it a shot. If anyone thinks there is a chance that they could use my help, please do let me know. My gmail is [email protected]. My native language is German.
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38 comments
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You need to get a job. Any job. Preferably the best job you currently qualify for, even if it's not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Once you aren't worrying about how you're going to feed yourself, get some fire in your belly and take the time to learn the skills you need for the job you want. If it's technical, then build something, try to find a few small side hustles. Then start looking for the jobs with your new skills. Since you'll still be working the job you don't love, you can afford to take your time and find somebody who will gamble on you.
You absolutely should not join a coding bootcamp right now. Priority one is to feed yourself. Learn when you're not working. To quote the infamous patio11: Don't end the week with nothing.
Other advice: Don't get married. Don't ruin your health and be careful especially now. Share a rental. Don't travel back to SEA.
I have a good friend around your age in your situation and have known others as well. I think what you're experiencing is fairly common because at some level, you realize you're an outsider in the country (even if you have connections with other digital nomads).
I've also been in situations where I've had an abundance of free time and would think "Now I can really focus on things that I want to do" but instead have just frittered it away. Work and a sense of contributing to a greater good is a necessary part of happiness. It also provides structure which can be important as well.
After university I went to Europe for a year. After I came back, I had no money so I worked at Toys R Us for the Christmas season and lived with my parents to save up money while looking for a programming job which I eventually found (first a short term contract and then full time).
I would recommend that you pack up and go home asap. Spending more time in Cambodia is just digging into that hole more. It will only get more difficult to leave later. If you can, stay with family or friends and get a part-time job at the grocery store or something to start giving you some structure and earning some money. With your spare time, look for entry-level development jobs where you'll be able to learn while you work. It sounds like this is the key you've been missing.
I know it sucks having to start over at 35 but it's better to do it now than in another 10 or 15 years. The fact that you've been contemplating going back for a long time now means that really you already know it's the right decision. You're just having trouble committing to it.
That some developers have managed to screw themselves over by using Byzantine stacks, code reviews and agile is entirely their own fault.
Programming isn't a stressful job, but programmers sure love making their own working environments toxic.
If you are unable to find yourself in Germany, perhaps try one of the souless outsourcing centers in Prague/Wroclaw/Krakow? Close enough to home, brain-numbing tasks, they grant even some relocation lump sum if requested - might be just enough to get the things running...
Or just go on any job site: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JfNAbUX_lN9K3MCNHO15... and search for "german" to see all the remote German speaking SaaS support jobs, plenty exist.
This is fine when you get to a certain level. You don't sound to be at that level yet.
If you can support yourself there, fine, minimize your expenses. If not, get back to your own region for 6 months - 1 year while you level up on your development skills and get a remote job locked in or have some savings. It's hard to learn while under stress, and anything in life has a certain amount of luck to it. Additionally, some of the best developers have trouble finding remote gigs because they don't know how to market themselves. Sounds like you a lacking a little of both so don't beat yourself up, but level up in both areas.
Good luck.
But I was struggling financially so I took a freelance gig and turned out I enjoyed it pretty much.
I believe you are pretty screwed if you want to only work on what you are passionate about. Things can stay new and exciting for only so long.
I recommend reading the book So Good They Cannot Ignore You.
A) How much time per day would you honestly put in if someone offered you something?
B) You should be more specific about what kind of development work you can do, and show at least 1 example of past work.
B) It's old, but it's the only public repo I have. If you want, I can give you access to a private repo on Bitbucket. That one is from last year. I haven't done any coding since. https://github.com/qisine/jobs4ants.com
Disclosure: I am not affiliated with Lambda School at all, just really believe in what they're doing and the way they are doing it. @austenallred is the guy to speak with.
1) Running your own business 2) A marketing job 3) A job with computers at a large corporation that is not coding