When I "left home" at 16 upon completing school and going to university, it couldn't have been less of an issue - as it was no different to going back to school.

I'm sure my family is an extreme example, but there's definitely a culture in the west, particularly among elites, where getting shot of your kids as soon as possible is highly desirable.

I have a perfectly ok relationship with each of them - see each once every few years, we're friendly and civil - but I've never really viewed them as parents - those would have been my aupairs and then the regimented institution of public school.

Children should be loved and cherished, not abandoned.

I moved out quite early on myself, and my relationship with my parents is quite fine. (From the US for context)

I presume no such thing. Although any feelings a six year old has of feeling being loved and cherished are greatly enhanced by living together with their parent(s). That being said, what I do consider abandonment is being raised by au pairs and shipped off to boarding school by age six.

> I moved out quite early on myself, and my relationship with my parents is quite fine. (From the US for context)

Moving out of your own free will is quite different from being put into boarding school at age six.

I'm glad to say that my dad seems to be getting it right the second time around, with wife 2.0, which underscores my upbringing being culturally rather than idiopathically driven - in the culture in which they lived, kids were there to convey status, and not much else.

Honestly, my family dynamic is all sorts of weird to most, but not unfamiliar to many who shared a parallel experience with me.

I wish people didn't feel obligated to have children if they know they don't want children or know they aren't up to doing it properly. It's not like accidents can't be "fixed".

This isn't directly aimed at you, I'm sure you are a wonderful person and are happy about this accident. I just feel children should not be had as status symbols or out of obligation.

> To say we were unloved would be wrong - but we were inconvenient, and never allowed to forget it.

Loved, but inconvenient. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that one :) I guess that's cognitive dissonance.

Regardless, all the best. Thanks for sharing.

FWIW: Here is a gruff internet hug/shoulder squeeze.

Glad it works for you, but that has got to be the third circle of my personal hell.

> 'Being alone' is seldom a reason for a depressed Indian - the family is always there.

That's nice. Some European countries are exactly the opposite. It's my hypothesis that this is the cause for many suicides, despite otherwise stellar living standards.

Here, here. Not only do I not live with parents, friends or anyone else. The slowly but steadily losing side of a current raging personal debate in my head is that one day I should share my life with a significant other and perhaps have a family of my own. That idea is on the ropes but I'm not quite ready to close that door completely, but I'm real close to calling the fight and declaring a winner.

Further, I have been going longer between replies to messages from friends. If they need to find me, they will know where to go. We can only maintain X number of relationships. I would rather that list include people in my pro network and an inner circle of friends and family.

If you can handle being alone. I feel that's a superpower. Though there are many benefits to for sharing your life with an SO. I suppose it's a trade-off.

Here it's very much not cultural. Youth unemployment is 50% and people are dirt poor.

I make about the same income he does... but in living together we can do so much better. There's always someone excited to make dinner every night.

We get to spend a lot of time together, and even though it's hard sometimes, and requires more emotional work, I think we've all grown from it. We buy a lot of groceries, and keep things clean. This summer I rebuilt some of our pantry space. My dad is really awesome though... He's super supportive, we smoke weed together, play LOL, work on projects around the house, go hunting, butcher our own animals, raise chickens.

My girlfriend and I have our own room, and we've been using the money saved to build a tiny house on a carhauler trailer. So we may not live with him forever, but I think all of our lives have been enriched a lot being together.

It's hard sometimes too, and some days I feel really angry with him. But some days I feel angry with my girlfriend too =) but also i still love them, and working through those things has only made me stronger

I can't even entertain the idea of not having my own privacy and my own place to do exactly what I want, when I want how I want.

I'm already getting anxious about the holidays and spending a few days with family. It's so exhausting, all that useless meaningless chatter etc. Makes one so weary.

I feel the Western model is better.

To a spouse chosen by your parents, correct?

Even in arranged marriages in the big cities both parties usually have some veto power; parents don't (usually) just unilaterally say "You're marrying him/her and that's that" because that's not a happy start to any marriage. The guy or girl is shown pictures and basic info (height, education, job etc.) about potential candidates from a shortlist (which parents get from a marriage bureau) and they pick out a few they might be interested in. It's pretty much a stale joke by now that any unmarried Indian engineer working abroad is going to be bombarded with pictures of girls by his parents when he visits India.

The guy or girl might meet a few different potential partners before making a decision. It often runs like parental-supervised dating (think of the scene in The Godfather, with the grandmothers following a few paces behind Michael Corleone and the Sicilian woman he's courting). The couple can get to know each other reasonably well before the wedding if the engagement is a few months long.

In the rural areas (i.e. most of the country) traditional arranged marriages probably still dominate though. Even there, the winds of change are a-blowin'.

Yeah, it's almost like we have radically different cultures.