Children should be loved and cherished, not abandoned.
I moved out quite early on myself, and my relationship with my parents is quite fine. (From the US for context)
I presume no such thing. Although any feelings a six year old has of feeling being loved and cherished are greatly enhanced by living together with their parent(s). That being said, what I do consider abandonment is being raised by au pairs and shipped off to boarding school by age six.
> I moved out quite early on myself, and my relationship with my parents is quite fine. (From the US for context)
Moving out of your own free will is quite different from being put into boarding school at age six.
I'm glad to say that my dad seems to be getting it right the second time around, with wife 2.0, which underscores my upbringing being culturally rather than idiopathically driven - in the culture in which they lived, kids were there to convey status, and not much else.
Honestly, my family dynamic is all sorts of weird to most, but not unfamiliar to many who shared a parallel experience with me.
I wish people didn't feel obligated to have children if they know they don't want children or know they aren't up to doing it properly. It's not like accidents can't be "fixed".
This isn't directly aimed at you, I'm sure you are a wonderful person and are happy about this accident. I just feel children should not be had as status symbols or out of obligation.
> To say we were unloved would be wrong - but we were inconvenient, and never allowed to forget it.
Loved, but inconvenient. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that one :) I guess that's cognitive dissonance.
Regardless, all the best. Thanks for sharing.
When I "left home" at 16 upon completing school and going to university, it couldn't have been less of an issue - as it was no different to going back to school.
I'm sure my family is an extreme example, but there's definitely a culture in the west, particularly among elites, where getting shot of your kids as soon as possible is highly desirable.
I have a perfectly ok relationship with each of them - see each once every few years, we're friendly and civil - but I've never really viewed them as parents - those would have been my aupairs and then the regimented institution of public school.