Perhaps not.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/smile-it-could-mak...
Tone of voice and mannerisms tell a much fuller story, though.
It's equally possible that it was intended as a shorthand for "cheer up, it's not that bad" or "try to keep your chin up". Both of which actually indicate that the speaker cares about their colleague.
Sure, I can see contexts where it would be inappropriate to say but that doesn't make it always inappropriate to say.
I just don't think you can automatically assume ill intent. As someone with depression I've been frequently told to "smile" or "lighten up" and while it's certainly annoying (and occasionally infuriating), I know that the underlying intent was probably positive.
Given an ambiguous statement, people can (and should) judge the statement based on context, and that includes perceived intent of the speaker. Human communication is much more than just words. Context and intent absolutely matter.
IMHO, everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt when dealing with such serious allegations. Or, as they say innocent until proven guilty. I wouldn't want to work in a place, or live in a society that believes otherwise. There simply needs to be a higher burden of proof than "it's sexist because I felt it was sexist".
Can it be considered sexist to say what was said? Sure. Should it be considered sexist by default? I don't think that's been proven.
Edit: I don't just say "Smile", usually there is more context to the conversation and usually ends with me trying to see if I can help fix the problem(if it's work related).
Where I'm from it's commonly meant as shorthand for "cheer up, it's not that bad" or "try to keep your chin up". Both of which actually indicate that the speaker cares about their colleague.
Said the guy who further up the thread said he "can't fathom how that could possibly be construed as sexist."
What I meant to say was that in this context I can't see how it would be construed as sexist. Or put another way... I can't see how this statement automatically defaults to being sexist absent any other indicators.
At any rate, this kind of proves my point that it's very easy for communication to come across in a manner other than the speaker intended. So serious charges like "sexist" or "racist" should not be levelled lightly.
If there is no bad intent, why should you? The answer is that a snowflake could get you fired but the rhetorical question stands.
I suspect these women are being hit on a lot less frequently than they think.
Men will get the "man up", "grow a pair", "relax", "you'll get over it", "are you gonna pussy out on me?" etc.
It's a hard problem --and unless you go for rigidity in the workplace, we're always going to have regular human issues (not company issues) permeate the workplace --be it office romance, cajoling, hijinks, etc.
sexism - noun - (2) behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster
stereotypes of social roles based on sex
Yup. Back when I was dealing with depression, I heard it all the time.
"Smile" and "Cheer up" are still two of the most rage-inducing things anyone can say to me. It's just one of those things about appearance I have to roll with. I also don't get to show up barefoot, with no t-shirt and just wearing boardshorts. So I play along and part of that is acting much happier and more amenable than I really am.
The main difference is that I don't have people constantly telling me this is caused by an oppressive societal structure pushing me to conform. (I mean, it is, but it's not treated as one. I'm certainly not constantly told I need to be to rejecting. By media that makes me weaker to it, and teaches me to suffer even harder when effected by those social structures.)
I'm not dealing with clinical depression but I can see what you mean. If I'm upset enough about something that it is visible, the last thing I want is someone telling me to "cheer up."
I guess I'm fortunate never to have worked with the kind of people (commissioned sales people? politicians? child molesters? I mean, I can't even imagine) who would notice I'm upset and tell me to "smile."
It's not only some demanding command to modify your mood, it can be a good natured suggestion to try and keep your chin up. The person who said it to me most was my mother.
Wow. If you're curious as to why some view it as a condescending thing to say to a colleague you really could start there.
edit: I'm surprised by your reply... only because it seems incongruous with the statement I replied to. interesting.
Just because people were well-intentioned didn't make it any less infuriating. I've gotten it in the "cheer up" sense and the "be more presentable" sense and the "comply with norms" sense. Not a huge difference in how it feels, non family ones are a bit easier though.
No matter how ill advised or inappropriate you find it, I don't think you should assume intent.
At least, where I'm from this is true. Maybe it's a societal norm that varies by culture and region.
"Would you ever say that to a male colleague? Would anyone?"
Out of context I'd imagine your question was about something that is actually serious or significant. Unbelievable.
Not saying it's tactful but I'm not a psychologist
Describing another incident, she wrote, "I was walking back to my cube from the break room and passed a group of managers exiting a meeting. The Area Manager told me to smile as I walked past." "While this is a small thing, it was notable as this is one of the most commonly reported forms of subtle sexism."
No matter how hard I try, I can't fathom how that could possibly be construed as sexist.