Right, "a pox on both their houses". The leakers, the people using the app, the men, the women, all seem gross. There are innocent men and women swept up in this, but it just seems like an unsavory neighborhood of the internet that people should avoid.

That’s how I see it. There’s so much negativity surrounding this entire app - best to avoid interacting with it in any way on either side.

I don't look down on the leakers any more than I would with any other security breach being released (I certainly didn't hear people using this same language of disgust over say 4chan being hacked or back in the day when Ashley Madison was hacked).

For me the only people I'm looking at with disgust is those who were using said app... it was a gossip cesspool with no way to verify any of the claims being said and a breeding pool for hateful posts against people you dislike.

The meme floating around of "I joined a site to dox and spread personal info about people got hacked and now my personal information is being spread around waahhahaaa" is pretty damn accurate and makes me not feel bad for them at all.

Sounds like Reddit

It seems like it was an app made to enable the worst of women's behavior. In that way it seems like it was very successful to me.

Of course, in reality such behavior is rarely conductive to anything good; I guess they got what's coming.

The whole concept of dating apps is so toxic, shallow and just plain bad. It's like choosing people as if they were products on a shelf.

Believe it or not, the Internet has not helped people be better in many cases. Sometimes it enables the worst of our personalities to really shine through.

Absolutely. Its funny when people on HN unironically claim this site to be a tiny miraculous exception.

This really is the most friendly forum I've been on that isn't something ultra-specific like crownvic.net

I'm new here but I agree. The ratio of discussions to arguments here is like the inverse of most large forums.

Its not perfect of course, neither am I.

Is that a forum for people with crown Victoria vehicles?

Yeah. I'm not signed up there, just end up finding advice and docs there often if I'm fixing something on my Vic.

Was not expecting to see crownvic.net on HN! Definitely the best and friendliest resource for the Panther platform!

The Panthers show up when you least expect them.

A comfy tank on wheels!

Honestly I saw more petty drama on the Toyota Yaris forums than I ever do here

I'm guessing this is 99% because the Yaris has a stickshift option and someone went on the forums to dunk on automatic users

Sure if you agree with the majority you don't run into a lot of toxicity.

But centering your ideological bubble is its own form of toxicity that is enabled by the internet.

There are a lot of things I disagree with the majority on here. But it's more like in a real life convo, most disagreements don't need to turn into huge debates in the first place, let alone result in name-calling and group-shaming.

> There are a lot of things I disagree with the majority on here

Such as? Are any of those disagreements ideological?

I don't like any tech gadgets, don't care a lot about digital privacy, prefer imperial measurements, think dynamic types are the best for high-level code, am opposed to ipv6, think Golang is pointless, want an official Linux desktop OS (not just kernel) to exist, think adults shouldn't be playing video games. And have said all those things repeatedly here.

If that all sounds too non-spicy, well, even mentioning the smaller things like JS vs TS on a mainstream Reddit page got people calling me a moron and my comment hidden because the score got too low. If I said it on a different page, maybe it would've been +100 score and everyone disagreeing with me booted instead, but that's not any better. Learned quickly not to bother with there.

HN isn't really a place for plain political discussions, so I don't participate in those. They do exist though, and end up getting locked. I'd probably be more right-wing than most.

Right, try participating in one of those political discussions here and see what happens.

Also using reddit as a baseline is like using a cesspool tank as a baseline of sanitation.

I've read through them here, they're not bad at all. There's a majority opinion, and people are disagreeing, but there's real content there instead of campaign slogans and insults. But HN rules say it's not for politics, so I avoid participating.

So what is your non-cesspool forum example that isn't Reddit? Twitter seemingly got taken over by bots early on, Facebook pages were a disaster at least when I was in college, and those are the big ones.

I think its worth saying that its a gradation, some places are better than others with HN tending to the better. But fundamentally, I don't think large non-toxic forums exist.

X optimizes for engagement and as studies have shown, that means optimizing for rage bait.

Reddit optimizes for rage bait too but includes a voting system that hides unpopular opinions, so any person that conflicts with the majority is marginalized. So on top of being full of rage bait, its an echo-chamber and that is before even talking about the powermod problem.

HN is much like reddit in style, so fundamentally HN also tends towards an echo chamber.

And by echo chamber, I mean a cringe circle jerk: a New Yorker article called it "performative erudition".

HN doesn't feel like Reddit, yes there are votes but it's one page and a totally different algo, and different user base. Guess we have different levels of satisfaction with that.

Gotta say though, it's rich hearing this from New Yorker.

You said its rich not wrong.

The worst part is that God forbid the genders were reversed and you had a male only app to discuss their relationships.

The app would be banned within a few seconds and 90% of people here would celebrate it.

Majority of people assume the following:

1. Men don't deserve to have private spaces

2. Men can't be victims of abuse (sexual, physical or else)

3. Men don't need to be protected from toxic relationships

4. Women don't need to ask men for consent

Men here refers to all men, including trans men, homosexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals, etc.

Perhaps, it's time that we have an honest discussion about the realities of living in the world as a man in 2025.

If you're reading this and find my comment in bad taste, or that it frustrates you, I highly encourage that you take sometimes and introspect as to why you feel that way.

I'm glad, I'm not the only one feeling this way. My experience lately has been that if you are a man, you are just bad, regardless of if your behavior is actually condemnable or not.

Worse than that, if you speak against any of the nonsense coming to you, you are extra bad. And they are surprised that fertility has fallen all over the place, seems like intended objective to me.

s/Sometimes/By default/

It used to be so that the Village Crazy got called crazy and either they figured out "shit, I'm crazy" and toned it down or they just lived alone being crazy.

Now the Village Crazy can find others with their exact flavour of crazy online and think that it's cool and everyone is doing it. Then they get deeper and deeper into their crazy, maybe transitioning into other flavours of crazy.

Miłosz would recognize it, I think.

The poet? Murti-bing pills?

where from ? so I can explore too ?

All I can find is this magnet link: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:brl45s3ysyotj6ljolmtnrlvfmyv4y7s&dn=tea&xl=59368985613&fc=57794 but this is not 200gb one...

or, these are normies, emotional people who let their feelings out, and you hang around other aspies who are convinced that rationality is the one true god and feelings must be controlled, suppressed, denied. there's no way to tell from your persective, i'm just saying there's two sides to this story, in addition to the 2 sides (M vs F) that you mention.

Nah, as a middle aged person at the bottom of the dating pool, there’s a lot of delusional thinking. A lot. A lot a lot. For example, me: 42, divorced, not rich but not poor - six figure income, her: 36, was “career oriented” but now feels like she missed the boat on kids; her: “If you don’t propose within the first 3 months, you’re not interested in marriage, just wasting time.” Also her: “A man is supposed to take care of me.” Again her: “what’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine”. This is the delusional thinking that exists in the dating world. That some rich Prince Charming is going to come save the hard working but hard partying girl who just realized she’s a woman.

I deleted my apps and will just eventually die alone.

I think the important thing is to generalize from this one experience and apply sweeping stereotypes to massivr groups of people.

It's not right, but the real average is a kinda tough situation too, not anyone's fault really. Most family-oriented women aren't waiting til 36, most younger women aren't dating with 10+ year age gap, being divorced makes it harder no matter what the reason is. I have some relatives dealing with this.

Yup - I’ll just wait for someone else’s marriage to fall apart and then I’ll find my person :D

This is such a fair read on the situation in America. Hang in there man. You can escape it but you need to leave the country.

I’m waiting for my own EU savior to give me safe passage :D we all have our delusions. Come here on vacation… partially fluent in Spanish, English, and can get by with French, German, Italian, Portuguese.

Rather than dying alone, find a robust offline community of people, and seek a partner there.

To add something useful, I have been in mental asylums. There are physically dangerous people who aren't full of negative emotions. Most psychiatric patients don't have ill feelings towards others in general, only toward themselves.

I have no idea why many hateful minds meet in places like that you mention; maybe it is some specific interactions that spark the noxious emotions, but I am no expert. It is similar to highschool extremely cool kid circles and fraternities, only for reverse reasons (alone together vs in a group)

There is the AWDTSG social media groups that this app shamelessly took the idea from in an attempt to monetize it, and the thing is that these groups probably serve the exact same function just fine without egregious mistakes in the name of move fast and break things techbro profit like 'exposed s3 buckets a literal child could have found' regardless of anyone's opinion on whether they should exist or not

There's also the fact that the big story in the USA right now is how some app got hacked exposing everyones IDs and the big story in the UK right now is that they want everyone to enforce ID verification for literally everything and they want people to think this is somehow safe and not just a time bomb waiting to blow

There is something offputting about the condescending nature of this comment as if the admission that you downloaded and poked through the private personal data of thousands of people just "out of curiosity" wouldn't be viewed by some as "completely alien" and borderline "mentally ill" behavior.

This is the type of story that is almost perfectly calibrated to reveal a lot of the biases of a place like HN and this specific comment is a great example of that.

Its public info, you cant cover your eyes and pretend it doesnt exist right there for everyone to see. Thats the reason why leaks are so bad.

If someone gets beaten up and left in the street, and, consequently, their wallet is laying right there beside their unconscious body, is it OK for you to take their wallet?

I mean, you can't pretend the wallet isn't right there, for everyone to see, just begging for someone to take it? This is why beatdowns are so wrong? The person who takes the wallet is as much a victim as anyone? Blame society?

This feels like a very dated metaphor. When my older brother introduced me Napster, was I actually rifling through Lars Ulrich’s wallet and shaking out mp3s?

In this case, a clone of the wallet has been preserved for all and sundry to peruse. Is it really wrong as a genuinely curious person not to pretend it isn’t there?

There’s a lot to be said about privacy on the Internet. I don’t think there’s much to be gained by attacking those who, out of genuine curiosity, don’t abide by the same polite fictions as the rest of us. I dont like browsing random strangers’ PII. I tend to hope those who do show due respect. And don’t see any sign of malice in GP.

IP theft isn't the same thing as privacy violation.

Not the same ethically. I’m not arguing that. But it’s the same mechanics. Browsing a dump floating around on the Internet isn’t the same as stealing someone’s personal info.

The data is already there. You’re not depriving anyone else of it, and as long as you’re not hosting nor seeding it, you’re not sharing it, either. Most of us pretend not to see it, but it’s there regardless.

Privacy violation can incur costs to the victim each time. Not only upon whatever you decide to declare was an event that made subsequent violation easier, but also upon those subsequent events.

The information is spread all across the internet. By reading this thread you can see people's "private" conversations. There is no point in judging the people who see the information once its public. Its like walking down the street with no clothes and then getting mad at people who looked.

The information might be viewable from the public, but there was still an expectation of privacy at the start of this. It isn't a naked person walking down the street, it is someone getting naked in their own home and you're peering through their window. Neither the legal status of that action nor other people also being able to see in the window makes it morally justifiable to violate the original expectation of privacy.

I dont know if this is just my 50 yr old view of the world... but imho there is a lot this going around.

Workmates, family, people of the streets and in shops. just so much angry toxic people. it's like a cultural change (am in Australia btw).

its not everybody but its a definitely larger number than I remember in the past few decades.

Does the hash end in ...e63f2 perchance, or is it a different dump?

The 200GB one had a folder called .pad that was about 150GB and had nothing but null byte files in it.

Don't try to brag about something that doesn't exist please

Can you share (or describe where to find) a download link pls? I’m mildly curious to see just how gnarly things get in those kind of “restricted” territories