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Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by slibhb on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:15PM (#42770781)
I thought this was better than most essays in this vein.

I do fundamentally disagree with the author. People can think poorly of you for whatever reason they want. If someone hates trans people, they can, and you can't stop them. The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred. It predictably didn't work, and it's good that we're turning away from it.

Adding on, the trans issue isn't simple. There are real questions about bathrooms, women's sports, and when medical interventions are called for. Of course, there are also just bigots. The proper response to bigots is not to banish them, ban them, shadowban them, etc. That didn't work. The proper response is -- in the spirit of the new era of free speech -- to firmly state your opposition to their beliefs.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by DeathRay2K on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:28PM (#42770932)
You’re wrong that a so-called “war on hate” doesn’t work. More correctly, it doesn’t work in the US because of the first amendment and the few limitations on it.

Many other countries have robust anti-hate speech laws that are effective, although less so in the age of the internet.

People broadly conform to the society in which they live, and the rules of the society are broadly set by the laws they adhere to. So in countries where hate speech is disallowed, people conform to a less hateful viewpoint as a rule, and hateful people are the exception.

In the United States, it is clear that hatred is the norm as long as it is permitted by law and by leadership.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by 331c8c71 on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:55PM (#42771233)
> People broadly conform to the society in which they live, and the rules of the society are broadly set by the laws they adhere to

Well this can work very differently from what you imagine I believe. Like late Soviet Union where certain things were said in public and other things were said in private or in "trusted environments". For years and years... From what I hear this is in part what goes on in large multinationals where the pressure to conform is quite tangible.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by yodsanklai on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:45PM (#42771110)
> it doesn’t work in the US because of the first amendment and the few limitations on it.

This isn't clear to me. For instance, Meta was free to forbid hate speech on their platforms, or not to promote it in their feed algorithms. I don't think first amendment would force them to authorize hate speech. They do it to align with power in place (freely or coerced, not clear), but it's not a legal enforcement.

> So in countries where hate speech is disallowed, people conform to a less hateful viewpoint as a rule, and hateful people are the exception.

There are hateful people in Europe too.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by raincole on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:54PM (#42771209)
German woman given harsher sentence than rapist for calling him ‘pig’ : https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2024/06/28/german-wom...

That's what "war on hate" slides to.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by arp242 on Monday January 20, 2025 @02:26PM (#42772130)
"Maja R was sentenced to a weekend in jail after her comments because she had a previous conviction for theft and had not attending the court hearing for the case."

Whatever you can say about the suspended sentences, merely "given harsher sentence than rapist for calling him ‘pig’" is not true by your own article.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by yodsanklai on Monday January 20, 2025 @02:07PM (#42771931)
Article is behind a paywall. I found another article

https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/a-german-woman-said-she-was-...

> The court did find the two men guilty of wrongly making and distributing the sex video and fined them 1,350 euros ($1,500) each. But it reserved its gravest punishment for Lohfink, levying her a fine of 24,000 euros for falsely accusing the men.

If we're talking about the same story, it has nothing to do with "war on hate".

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by Arainach on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:30PM (#42770954)
>The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred

You can't forbid it but you can absolutely make it socially unacceptable. "Free speech" doesn't mean letting people spew hate and doing nothing; choosing not to hand them a megaphone, support their business, etc. is entirely valid.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by ThrowawayR2 on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:57PM (#42771256)
It became so socially unacceptable that its proponents won the US presidency and took control of Congress and globally famous business leaders are bending the knee to them without repercussion? What definition of "can absolutely" are you using?
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by ziddoap on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:13PM (#42771407)
It is less socially acceptable in some cultures, more in others.

The fact that a gradient exists is proof that, under different circumstances, the social acceptableness of hatred can change.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by Arainach on Monday January 20, 2025 @06:15PM (#42774306)
The popular vote does not determine what is right. The US elected an incredibly racist Richard Nixon by a Landslide in 1972, but that doesn't mean society couldn't make progress on making it unacceptable to use racial slurs in public.
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by lucb1e on Monday January 20, 2025 @06:36PM (#42774490)
I personally did not read the parent comment's saying of "can" as meaning "has been"
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by snowfarthing on Monday January 20, 2025 @03:13PM (#42772579)
There is a danger to hating something so much, that it goes underground. A major reason why President Trump won the first time around was because hatred against Trump and his supporters was so strong, that many people being polled were afraid to tell the pollsters who they were really voting for, for fear of being destroyed. This is a major reason why Trump outperformed his polling.

In the meantime, when people are lied to by every avenue of culture, they are convinced everyone else believes in the lies, so they feel alone and in the minority, even though they may very well be in the majority. So long as this spell can be maintaned, the dictator can hold his grip on power.

But what happens when that spell was broken? When something happens, and all of the sudden, everyone realizes they've been in the majority all along? This is how dictatorships topple -- and the toppling can happen very swiftly, as Ceausescu discovered in Romania.

Elon Musk acquiring Twitter and taking out the censorship is what initially cracked the spell this time; and when Trump was elected not just by Electoral College, but by the Popular Vote, the spell was broken completely. It's why we're seeing so much change now, and why it's so rapid.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by snowfarthing on Tuesday January 21, 2025 @11:45AM (#42782187)
I intended to include something that I now see I forgot: this phenomenon is called a "preference cascade", and it's a big reason why we see dramatic shifts in power in oppressive regimes.
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by giraffe_lady on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:32PM (#42770976)
The author isn't talking about abstract "hatred" in the sense of people's internal, personal experiences. They are talking about hate speech, a specific concrete act with external material consequences.

> Adding on, the trans issue isn't simple.

It really kind of is though.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by watwut on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:35PM (#42771017)
> There are real questions about bathrooms, women's sports, and when medical interventions are called for.

Yes there are real questions, but there are also real answers. Currently, 99% of people asking questions have literally zero interest in answers. They do not care about what research say or whether there is harm or not. They ask questions to convince the audience about their political project.

They do not care about whether medical interventions are good, bad, safe or unsafe. They want to convince you that that they are unsafe. They want to stop the interventions regardless of their impact. They do not care about safety of bathrooms, they want you to punish transgender people in the wrong bathroom. They do not care about women sports either, in fact they are the same people arguing against women sports whereever it matters.

> People can think poorly of you for whatever reason they want.

And it should be my god give right to call them sexist and racists if they think of me poorly because of those reasons. But somehow that is supposed to be a taboo. We are all supposed to pretend there is no sexism, that there was no historical sexism, so that someone feels good about themselves. Again and again, sjws pointed out someone is sexist/racist, there was an outrage in response, they were painted crazy stupid exaggerating. And I actually believe the response, multiple times. Except that it turned out, multiple times, that they were right all along.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by Freak_NL on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:03PM (#42771322)
Besides, the whole bathroom thing is so old hat. You know what I hate in a bathroom? Other people. Of any gender. Thankfully, stalls have doors.

I miss the days of Ally McBeal when unisex bathrooms were hip and the future.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by watwut on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:16PM (#42771435)
In my local city there was conservative article about unisex bathroom putting framing it as transgender thing.

The bathroom was unisex when I was a kid, when trans were universally mocked. Bathroom is unisex, cause there is exactly one toilette in a small cafe in a super old building.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by samastur on Monday January 20, 2025 @05:01PM (#42773585)
Unisex bathrooms mean women get to clean the bathrooms again because men can't be bothered to aim or sit.
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by Freak_NL on Tuesday January 21, 2025 @05:21AM (#42778414)
You can file that one with the other bathroom myth: cleaning staff knows that the really, really filthy bathrooms are the women's bathrooms¹.

People are (and have) assholes. Hardly an argument against unisex bathrooms.

1: https://www.rsvplive.ie/life/womens-toilets-much-dirtier-men...

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by coderc on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:06PM (#42771351)
I would think that your claim about "99% of people asking questions have literally zero interest in answers" applies more to 'both sides' than one might initially think.

Is either side open to being told "no", or at least "wait, we need to be more cautious about this"? Or do both sides just want their demands to be accepted?

Would either side actually back down if the research said that what they were doing was harmful or ineffective?

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by watwut on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:13PM (#42771411)
> "wait, we need to be more cautious about this"? Or do both sides just want their demands to be accepted?

I think that yours "wait, we need to be more cautious about this" or is this just another "I do not care about answers, I just want to pretend so".

> Would either side actually back down if the research said that what they were doing was harmful or ineffective?

Research is there and it is saying current clinics were not harmful and were not ineffective. So yes, one side cares about research and the other is not.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by coderc on Monday January 20, 2025 @02:19PM (#42772057)
>I think that yours "wait, we need to be more cautious about this" or is this just another "I do not care about answers, I just want to pretend so".

I don't know what you're referring to, but if you would like to get specific about it, many authoritative medical organizations, such as the one that presides over Sweden, have declared a halt on procedures such as prescribing puberty blockers to minors. This is an example of a "wait, we need to be more cautious about this", saying that the risks outweigh the benefits.

https://segm.org/Swedish-2022-trans-guidelines-youth-experim...

But here you are implying that the science is already "settled" and that there is no harm. So when you say that one side cares about the research and the other does not, are you completely sure about that?

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by watwut on Monday January 20, 2025 @03:37PM (#42772765)
I am completely sure about that, yes. Because even your "many authoritative medical organizations" thing cherry picks one organization saying maybe and ignores any positive results entirely.

You do not care about which procedures were actually done nor about what it took to get them. Puberty blockers for minors are not something new or done to transgender kids only. They have been used for years for non-transgender kids and they are not the only treatment constantly under attack.

If you cared about puberty blockers safety, you would care about also about when they work, you would care about accessibility when they do work ... and you would not act as if they were so easy to get in the first place.

And that last thing gives the game away.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by coderc on Monday January 20, 2025 @03:52PM (#42772917)
It's not just Sweden, I could list other countries too, such as Denmark, Finland, England (outside of trials), Wales and Scotland. Norway calls it "experimental". All this information was found on the homepage of the same site I linked earlier.

But you don't seem to be open to discussion on this issue, and that's the double standard I'm pointing out. "They do not care about what research say or whether there is harm or not" is what you've said about others, and it seems like it applies equally to you as well.

And since you don't seem to be open to discussion on this issue, I'm going to leave it here. I think my point has been made.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by itsoktocry on Monday January 20, 2025 @05:06PM (#42773642)
>They do not care about what research say

No, we do not care about "research" that says men and women have equivalent physical abilities and sports performance. It's ludicrous.

>They do not care about safety of bathrooms

I care a lot about bathroom safety. Does safety only matter for transgender bathroom users?

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by robmccoll on Monday January 20, 2025 @12:59PM (#42771275)
> The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred. It predictably didn't work, and it's good that we're turning away from it.

This is a myopic view. You are obviously correct that you cannot legislate that someone think in any particular way or otherwise force someone to change their minds, but the idea that collectively deciding that a viewpoint is not longer tolerated within the broader society and then making efforts to support that at all levels is ineffective and not worthwhile is absurd. Threats, physical violence, and murder have always been illegal, but used to occur with much higher frequency against many minority groups toward which society tolerated hatred and abuse. It's plainly obvious what changed is the idea that it would be brushed under the rug, that others would at worst turn a blind eye to the perpetrator if not support them, that there would be no real consequences whether legal or in social circles - this environment in which people act on impulse rather than thinking twice about what they're doing - went away. We must remember that progress isn't permanent, that civil rights must be maintained and won't protect themselves, and that there's probably someone out there that hates someone each of us loves and cares about for some arbitrary reason and would act on that if only society gave them permission.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by rexpop on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:11PM (#42771396)
> There are real questions about bathrooms, women's sports

No there aren't. These are frivolous questions.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by wastle on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:35PM (#42771619)
Yours is a very typically male point of view.

Female athletes having to complete against trans-identifying males tend to disagree that this is frivolous issue. As do many others.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by hooverd on Monday January 20, 2025 @06:06PM (#42774219)
Do you think trans people should be allowed to exist in public society?
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by wastle on Monday January 20, 2025 @06:21PM (#42774346)
Yes, there's room for people with all sorts of beliefs in a tolerant society.

The problem is in trying to force others to kneel to their beliefs and, worst of all, trying to take rights away from others - women and girls especially.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by otde on Monday January 20, 2025 @01:34PM (#42771617)
> If someone hates trans people, they can, and you can't stop them. The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred. It predictably didn't work, and it's good that we're turning away from it.

It is disingenuous to suggest that anti-discrimination laws for trans people are attempting to legislate away the hatred held in people’s hearts, instead of access to healthcare, public facilities, protections against workplace discrimination — things you describe as having “real questions,” but which are, in fact, the parts of a full and dignified life that bigots would deny to trans people in particular. If you pretend like it’s trying to legislate “thoughtcrime,” it’s much easier to distinguish anti-discrimination laws for trans people from rulings like Obergefell or Brown v. Board — far easier to say “look, those were good, but this particular civil rights legislation is simply unreasonable.”

To platform these beliefs is to afford them a legitimacy they do not deserve. To suggest that bigotry, when amplified, will be in some way countered or reduced is naïve beyond belief. Instead, it becomes easier for bigotry to find an audience of receptive listeners and willing conduits for further transmission.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by metabagel on Monday January 20, 2025 @06:15PM (#42774305)
> The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred. It predictably didn't work, and it's good that we're turning away from it.

I don't understand any of this. It feels like you live in a different information bubble than mine.

What was the "war on hate", and who is turning away from it?

What would it mean to say that the "war on hate" worked? That there was no more hate, or that the situation improved somehow? What does it mean to say that it didn't work?

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by djur on Monday January 20, 2025 @08:07PM (#42775165)
I've literally never heard the phrase "war on hate" in my life.
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by mempko on Monday January 20, 2025 @08:46PM (#42775470)
How can you disagree with the author, they are doing exactly what you suggested, firmly stating their opposition to PG's beliefs.

It seems you didn't read their post. Also, yes, if someone hates you, you can definitely change their minds. The weapon in the war on hate is love. And there is a lot of love in the author's essay. Love for others in their position.

So you too can join the War on Hate by showing love to the author and letting PG know he is wrong, so very wrong.

Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by mbs159 on Tuesday January 21, 2025 @06:51AM (#42779125)
Hatred is extremely infectious, especially in difficult times. If you do not extinguish it, you can end up in a country like Nazi Germany, where it even became encouraged.
Re:I Met Paul Graham Once by Tainnor on Wednesday January 22, 2025 @02:41AM (#42790157)
> The proper response is -- in the spirit of the new era of free speech -- to firmly state your opposition to their beliefs.

This doesn't really work because social networks are designed to amplify the most "engaging" things, which often means "controversial". Reasoned debate is often drowned out - this happens even here on HN for particularly controversial topics.

If social media was just people following their friends and interacting with them (I remember when FB was basically like that), we maybe wouldn't be in this horrible polarised mess.