I've been an engineering manager, I'm not sure that argument is as strong as you want it to be.

I am certainly not an expert in this area so this is just observational anecdotes but I suspect environment and parental input is a big factor. When I was in California in bigger cities I would agree with what you said for the vast majority of kids/teens I have interacted with. When I moved to Wyoming in a very rural area my opinion changed significantly. The kids for the most part that were born and raised here have empathy and are very polite especially to adults. Just as one example a large group of teens blocked each other from ordering from the deli and made me go in front of them. I had never seen anything like that before and that was just one example, there are many more.

3 year olds literally do not have the brain development for it

> They will kick you in the head one second and ask for a sandwich the next.

As long as this example is taken figuratively, I think it makes a better case for “yes” for many/most people.

I pretty regularly see people shit on others and then expect favors —especially in work contexts, but also in social contexts.

I mean it literally. 3 year olds literally do not have the brain development required for empathy and will literally kick you in the head one moment and ask you for a sandwich the next

My experience is the opposite - kids have a natural sense of fairness, which is of course heavily bent by self interest. Assuming you yourself are not transparently full of sh_t, you can usually get them to appreciate your position if you can explain it to them on their level.

Adults, having the advantage of decades to cultivate our twisted bonsai tree neuroses, can be literally impossible.

Some of this can last into adulthood—a common problem for small business owners and contractors is charging too little, because they know their costs and time and what a fair price seems like it should be.

They have to have that innate child’s sense of fairness trained out of them. The notion that “what the market will bear” is fair rather than (often) screwing people over is something that has to be taught, more often than not, from what I’ve observed.

it's just biological fact, it takes time for the brain to build the areas of empathy

Have you seen most adults? I thought it was generally held that empathy is a learned facility. Not just the ability to feel empathy, but who and what you feel empathy towards.

no, it's hardware. this is why sociopaths exist, they lack it

I thought that was psychopath?

Regardless on terms, the thought for them was that they were unable to learn empathy. That does not mean that others get it automatically. You only need to look at how we treat animals to see examples of learning empathy.

Adults do comparable things to each other all the time.

I think many (probably most) adults miss the life experiences needed to really grow up, become self aware, open approach to learn, etc.

and then insist they never asked for the sandwich, and then say they're hungry.

Adults behave this way all the time.

Adults commit assault all the time? I've never had anyone kick me in the head.

No, they generally outsource inflicting suffering to a third party.

One of my inlaws, for instance, sees no issue in themselves using a bathroom inappropriate for their gender, and also in having trans people imprisoned for doing the same.

Many people feel that rules do not bind them, but are a great weapon for beating other people with. It's a core pillar of their political philosophy.

Sounds like a lot of the adults in my world lol, although there is more subtlety in the ways that they will kick you in the head and ask for a sandwich.

move somewhere else

I've certainly experienced that, but I've also seen a fair bit of kindness from very young children as well.

For example, a few years ago, one of my nieces, when she was four, got a bunch of candy for some reason, and desperately tried to give everyone a few pieces. She wasn't asked to share, she just decided that she'd give everyone a bit of candy, and as far as I can tell it was purely just to be nice.

That said, kids are often sociopaths, I was definitely a little shit when I was a kid.

I do that as an adult.

Have you thought about not doing that?

A sociopath might hurt some one and not care. A child(well, until a certain age) hasn't made the connection that flinging their leg around and hitting someone can hurt them and thats bad.

So, it's different. It would probably be more correct to say children are more akin to mentally retarded adults than sociopaths.

they are selfish, not sociopaths. I really wish people would stop overusing that word.

There's something richly ironic about calling your former self a sociopath. It's like a line you'd hear in a Mel Brooks movie.

“i used to be worried i was a sociopath. then i realized, “i don’t care!”