To be clear, it's exceedingly rare that I've had to kick people out of my life. And if you say that you and your friends engage in mutual banter, then I believe it. I've enjoyed some banter in my time.
It's not clear to me if you're saying there's a pattern in your life of friends becoming "too sensitive," but if there is, I do think that's something to interrogate.
Not that you can't do all that AND give each other some shit. But if you aren't doing all that I suggest giving it a shot.
1. Men are socialized to only be emotive in aggressive or masculine ways. Expressing vulnerability is met with mockery until you learn to stop doing it.
2. Sometimes people don't know how to communicate in a way that's effective without being tactless. Sometimes they think such communication isn't possible, expressed in cliches like "truth hurts", "I'm just showing you tough love" or "you need to grow a thicker skin." (Sometimes this works, but in my experience it's actually a lot easier to communicate if you don't express yourself in a way that's personal and insulting, it distracts from what you actually want to discuss. My policy for expressing uncomfortable criticism is, "speak plainly and clearly, drop the superlatives, and get it done sooner than later.")
Some men, absolutely. Most men? Maybe. But I removed those kinds of people from my life years ago. The few men I involuntarily socialize with are coworkers, mostly programmers, and they tend to be on the less macho side generally, thank god.
It's true, they often do. And I find it to be one of the least valuable and most insecure aspects of friendship. My best relationships with any gender, romantic or otherwise, have involved little or no negging and a whole lot of honest communication and building each other up.
Jabs do sour relationships with people who aren't open to being spoken to in that way. Your previous comment about people becoming "too sensitive" makes it sound like some of your relationships may have soured in that way (speculation, I don't know your life; if you deny it, I'll believe you). Being tactful means feeling out the vibe, jabbing at people who appreciate it, and taking another tact with people who don't.
The world isn't dualistic. There are more kinds of people and more ways of interacting than are dreamt of in your philosophy. If there are people you don't get along with and don't want to be friends with, that's fine, live your best life. It's the same way for me, and GP said the same as well. But understand that's a choice you've made because it's right for you, not something objective or universal, and try not to judge others for making a different choice.
I imagine that when you stand up to them, your frenemy would say, jeez, when did you get so sensitive. I've been mocking and undermining you for years, so what's the problem?
Men's friendships often involve good natured jabs, but sometimes insecure men will use that as cover to treat you like a doormat. Life is too short to be fodder for their ego.
Also, it's not generally true that you'll lose access to one modality of friendship if you learn another. People move between different friend groups and subcultures all the time and code switch as necessary. (I don't doubt that some people have trouble with this, however.)