As an individual, my decision then is: do I want to choose a place that sets me up for a high paying job and with connections I can rely on for life, and does not take my money for it, while also not having any downsides (that I can see) compared to a state university? Choosing a school for these reasons seems like the most rational choice anyone could make in that scenario.
Please correct me if I am misunderstanding your argument.
But ivy league schools don't present themselves as just a networking opportunity. They present themselves as a way to get a much higher quality education than other universities (and this is why you should hire their alumni).
It would be more honest to present themselves as a marginally better education experience, and also a place where powerful people send their children, thus allowing better networking.
As a society, it doesn't make sense to put that much weight behind the ivy stamp on your resume, if the education is the same as a flagship state school.
As the saying goes, "It ain't the grades you make, but the hands you shake."
For students in your situation, it makes sense to go to a private college with lots of financial aid, since there's basically no downside. For middle class students, it makes much less sense since they and their families have to take on huge loans. Even for wealthy students, it's not as clear a case as for low-income students. You have to be very wealthy for your family to be able to easily afford $320k per kid.
1. Do you think you’re going to learn calculus better than you would at flagship state U? - No. There might be a small difference but I would not claim to have received an education that is significantly better than any state university. I was able to take very specific grad-level classes and learn basically whatever niche subject I wanted to - which might be an issue at schools which do not have comparable funding. But overall, not significantly better than a state U.
2. Do you think you’re going to work with famous professor there? - In my experience every student who was competent and wanted to work on a research project was able to - even as soon as their second semester in freshman year (might not get the exact professor and project you want - but in my experience all professors have an incredible reputation and you will gain a lot out of whoever you get to work with)
3. They will hand off all your classes to adjuncts and grad students. - In all my classes, grad students have been responsible for grading assignments and exams, but never for teaching - only the professors teach.
4. Don’t waste your money on a fancy brand - I didn't. Coming from a low-income household, Cornell covered all my expenses and I have not paid a single cent my entire 4 years (and no loans). It is significantly more likely for an Ivy League university to provide full financial aid as they have the endowment to do so.
Additionally, the biggest advantages for me with regards to the brand name were: 1. Recruiting - recruiters from FAANG and other top companies come to you - pretty much everyone I know was going into FAANG or a top fintech company their sophomore or junior year internship. 2. Networking - Since there are so many alumni already at top firms, it is significantly easier to get referrals.