The discussions are very pertinent to my daily life, unvarnished, and the clientele of note (kind of like Hacker News I guess).
For me it’s because I think I have very little time for real friends as a working parent; I text old friends from college and such, but my daily life is lonely outside my family, and logistics and chores consume a lot of that time. More free wheeling discussion like with a circle of friends is what these discussion groups fill for me, and that’s hard to quit.
It's the same for me, too. The people around me have few common interests, and conversations with them are awkward and sparse, and I've changed enough in my life that the communities I once was a part of are no longer feeling as welcome to me anymore. I've found the online communities to be both the best and worst outlet in my life, because they are directly tailored to my interests but are also not actually in my proximity.
I think this a benefit, not a negative.
I’ve enjoyed discussion boards long before smartphones, but have been spending more time scrolling them on my phone than I’d like since 2020. This point, along with the author’s discussion of “the desire underneath the desire” is making me think that I’m actually just missing the types of conversations I’d have with coworkers at lunch or over happy hour beers before I started to work from home full time. Most of my close friends are not programmers or involved in startups, so this sort of makes sense to me as a missing social outlet.
I adjusted my rules a bit to make them fit into my setup (WFH, Homekit lights, etc), the main challenge being that rather than accounting for time spent online and trying to limit it to 1h, I just wouldn't go online at all (unless for work). It was a wonderful week, and even one week can start to make a long-term impact!
Another thing worth trying is to leave your phone at home, and attend to your "digital needs" from a smartwatch. The screen is too small and the input too quirky to be efficient at wasting attention, but you can still get directions, pay for stuff, reply to a message, etc. (I actually don't have mobile data on my watch so I need the phone to keep the watch online, but I'm mindful of when I'm in "no phone mode". You can also seize the opportunity and just go offline, without giving up on things such as checking the time or playing music.)
I think of this as a possibly universal psychological trick that can allow you to slowly adjust your behaviour.
I.e:
- To do less of something, think of how useless the impulse is when it happens. I.e. dull the impulse.
- (To do more of something, be on the lookout for and amplify any impulse that drives towards that behaviour.)
It seems kind of obvious but sometimes we amplify bad behaviour by punishing ourselves and end up amplifying the impulse.
Years back I tried to make a phone case that would shock me at random while using it. The idea was to replace the dopamine hit you get from checking your phone with a twinge of anxiety and dread.
I never finished the project. Turns out generating high voltages requires tall inductors, which generally make a phone case unacceptably thick.
This is the heart of the issue right here. Nicely out in one sentence.
Now if we could just get members of society to apply the same principle to their newsfeeds. I walked into a room discussion yesterday where a few were extolling how they “read both sides.” I congratulated them on subsidizing not one, but two circuses.
The QR code leads to a page that has more information, but they put ZERO information on the pamphlet even though it could have conveyed all the information behind the QR code quite well and look good still.
I don't use QR codes because it is usually information that is useless. Or it would be on the actual thing.
A couple years ago, I removed most social media out of my life; anything on my phone with a public "friends" or "follows" list.
I can't put my finger on it, but overall I found myself more at peace.
I did eventually end up back on Twitter and adjusting the social app "rule" to "strangers-only" apps. And I found that worked out well as I could still get up-to-the-moment industry things (I've since switched to threads).
Recently I needed to sell an old couch and craigslist wasn't getting the job done, so I installed Facebook, fired up the old profile, and made my listings.
And now I'll just randomly catch myself browsing Facebook. It's without purpose, and I don't care much about what I'm seeing. I just randomly end up there scrolling. It's the weirdest thing.
The couch is still unsold and I've had two scam attempts on Facebook (none on CL). So I'm very much looking forward to getting rid of both on garbage day
Just make sure you plop it out there when it's not going to rain.
You do need to have a plan to dispose of it if nobody snags it, however.
It's a pleasure to give and receive. It prevents perfectly good, clean, functioning things from meeting an early end at the landfill simply because selling it ends up being more of a challenge than expected.
Never imagined such a communal barter system to spring up in the modern day.
I removed all apps that need my engagement to make money.
It took time for me to realise why I was picking my phone up and then wondering why.
My brain was reflexively reaching for my phone as it was bored (or anticipating becoming bored?) but then when I concisely looked at my phone I thought “well there’s nothing to do here why did I pick it up?”
It’s taken a couple of months but now I rarely find my phone in my hand without a conscious reason to have it there.