News for hackers. Stuff that matters.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by HWR_14 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:04AM (#36966819)
It's difficult for me to overstate how much I disagree with you.

I don't need more people being shamed for being gay, for wearing the wrong outfit or for not fitting in. Shame just doesn't work well at a practical level. To say nothing of the superpower that gives the shameless.

Meanwhile, I find your alternative of "well if we don't have shame, we'll just have to make explicit laws about it" to be not a bad thing at all. You called it fascism with no real reasoning. Explicit laws that we can change and discuss seems like a good way to manage things!

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by graeme on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:26AM (#36966949)
This was in the comment you’re replying to. It covers your reply

> Devaluing shame instead of targeting the parts of the contract that needed to be changed

As the other comment said, you’re also discussing “being shamed” whereas the original comment is about “feeling shame”. Similar but far from identical.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rewmie on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:09AM (#36967541)
> As the other comment said, you’re also discussing “being shamed” whereas the original comment is about “feeling shame”. Similar but far from identical.

No, not really. OP clearly advocates for "the need of an authority figure" to force his personal views onto others he feels are lacking in the way of morals. OP's puerile take on "shame" is just a thinly veilled desire to oppress everyone and anyone around them that does not comply with his personal views.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by grncdr on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:46AM (#36968139)
The OP actually said something nearly opposite to that…

> Without shame, many people unfortunately need an authority figure to step in and moderate their behaviour.

This is an argument against relying on authority figures to replace the role of shame and implicit social contract. I honestly don’t know how they could have made that more clear than when they continued with this:

> It will likely result in people reaching for a paternal “strongman” figure and a subsequent slide into (probably) fascism.

Again, the argument is that _without_ shame and a shared social contract, the replacement by explicit state authority to moderate harmful behaviors drifts towards fascism.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by goodpoint on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:40AM (#36968498)
> Again, the argument is that _without_ shame and a shared social contract, the replacement by explicit state authority to moderate harmful behaviors drifts towards fascism.

The argument is plain wrong. Fascism and nazism were driven by fear and shame from day one. You can find transcriptions from early talks from the dictators and others.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by grncdr on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @06:36AM (#36969094)
Sure, I’m not trying to make the argument of the OP, just clarify it because I do think it warrants consideration.

Regarding the role of shame in the rise of fascism (and the NSDAP). I agree it played a role, but I would characterize that as an (all too successful) exploit of human psychology.

My opinion is that “shame” as a basic human emotion does perform an important function in our social fabric, and trying to inoculate ourselves against it en masse is not without its downsides.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by goodpoint on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:42AM (#36982602)
You opinion goes against modern science: psychology, pedagogy and sociology agree that positive feedback is much more effective than negative and it's healthier in the long run.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:14AM (#36966879)
Shame works very well. I so hate it when people use "gay" to invoke some sort of a culture war side-choosing spell. The original comment is about feeling shame not being shamed. If you believe being gay is wrong the yes you should feel shame, if you don't then the question is not relevant for you.

The original commenter is more right than any of us can conceive. So many societal problems would be solved if people had raised their kids to learn to feel shame. Trumpism, gun worship, climate change denial, post-truth mindset, anti-vaxx, treason, insurrection, racial hatred and discrimination,etc... the thing so many of people with these views have in a common is they feel no shame about the harm they are causing.

If in your own opinion you did something wrong, you should absolutley feel shame. What is more evil than being proud of doing wrong by your own standards? You can debate what is right ir wrong or even what morality is but refusing to feel shame is embracing evil.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pkdpic on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:37AM (#36967016)
I like the distinction between being shamed and feeling shamed. And although as a home owner in a northern california downtown area I couldn't agree more that shame feels absent in a lot of the behavior plaguing our communities in a multitude of capacities, Im reminded of the rumors I hear about how dysfunctional shame-grounded societies like Japan are for those who don't fit into normalized parameters.

Anyway its making me wonder, has the US ever been strongly rooted in shame as a non-homogeneous nation? If so when and why did we stop? Growing up in the bay area I feel like I might have a pretty warped view...

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by HWR_14 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:28AM (#36966966)
For someone who leans hard into moral relativism, and specifically calls out moral relativism as the right way to consider shame, you have a very long list of things that shame will solve. What about the trump supporting gun worshiping climate change deniers who don't feel they are wrong? Is "the question not relevant to [them]"?

Meanwhile, I used "gay" as an example because a lot of gay people feel shame about it and it's very bad for those people. It's an example of something with shame attached that clearly shouldn't.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:06AM (#36967161)
If we can agree that you should feel shame when you do wrong the reasoning with people (and ourselves) about what is wrong and why can have an effect. Right now, because the lack of shame, all sorts if mental gymnastics and alternate realities are fabricated by people for appearances sake.

> it's very bad for those people

I don't get it, are you saying shame is bad for gay people because their guilt is justified? I have to disagree with that, you can talk about the guilt that precedes shame but shame in itself is a corrective tool.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by hattmall on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:30AM (#36966976)
But why do you think people would / should feel shame with the things you listed just because you don't agree with them? I feel like most of what you listed is the type of people that do feel shame and actually incorporate that into their positions.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Thursday August 03, 2023 @10:05PM (#36994579)
Those were people I strongly believe avoid shame. They cal everything fake news or a conspiracy. Every racist these days goes "i am not a racist? But..." these days lol.

They are very proud of their ways and proudly defend their self-deception.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by hattmall on Saturday August 05, 2023 @03:29PM (#37015505)
What would fake news and conspiracies have to with shame though. They are rarely in the same vein. There are millions of statements that can be preceded by "I am not racist but" and that's because people use accusations of racism to avoid shame. Pointing out a factual but negative stereotype will have you called racism because the shameful and destructive behavior isn't being acknowledged.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by saulpw on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:43AM (#36967045)
That's the thing about shame, it's NOT your own standards, it's society's (your parents') standards that have been inculcated into you since before you were born. I remember a post by a guy on reddit who was waiting for his g/f in a gas station and tried on some sunglasses on the rack before he realized they were women's sunglasses. and he felt such an immense shock of shame that he almost threw them on the floor. He realized how ridiculous this was (hence the post) but it doesn't matter, that shame runs really deep and takes a long time and a huge personal effort to truly overcome. This is why people have had such a hard time coming to terms with being gay, and that leaks out in all kinds of terrible ways.

If society only used shame for truly reprehensible, amoral, antisocial behavior, then sure, the original commenter is making a great point. But shame has been weaponized. Look around you. People are being shamed for being poor, fat, disabled, lazy, oversexed, undersexed, voting wrong, not voting, you name it. So some of us live in a state of constant shame for innocuous behavior and others of us cope by becoming shameless. Even here, you're trying to cast shame upon the shameless, with "refusing to feel shame is embracing evil".

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:13AM (#36967186)
OK, now do pooping on a sidewalk
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by woodruffw on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:17AM (#36967210)
I don’t think conflating mental unwellness (which can imply an inability to feel shame) with an absence of shame in otherwise mentally well people does any particular justice to the situation.

Mentally well people don’t defecate on streets, at least not under anything less than extreme privation. Those experiencing that privation likely already feel ample shame over it.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:40AM (#36967323)
People without shame are mentally unwell.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rewmie on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:12AM (#36967563)
> People without shame are mentally unwell.

Ok I'll bite.

How do you expect to treat mental illness through shaming?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by vasco on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:59AM (#36967863)
That's not what they said, this has to be a bad faith interpretation. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) for example has lack of shame as one of its defining traits.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rewmie on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:26AM (#36969920)
> That's not what they said, this has to be a bad faith interpretation. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) for example has lack of shame as one of its defining traits.

Read the thread. You're commenting on discussions you're ignorant and oblivious about. You're in a thread where GP talks about mentally unwell people who "defecate on streets" and you're now trying to pass it off as mere narcisists?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by vasco on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @09:11AM (#36970407)
The person said "People without shame are mentally unwell."

You said "How do you expect to treat mental illness through shaming?"

My interpretation of the first statement is that lack of shame is a characteristic that is present in some mental illnesses.

My interpretation of your reply is that you were portraying the original statement as saying that people that are mentally ill should be shamed in order to get well. Which I thought was very far from my own interpretation.

Due to this I went to google and searched for lack of shame as a trait of mental illnesses to check if there were any, and NPD came up as one example. So it seemed like the original statement was correct while saying nothing about how to treat people which is what you implied.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by cat_plus_plus on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:02AM (#36967879)
Easy. There are days where I feel like staying home and drinking beer / eating junk food / playing computer games. It's only because I know that's not the right thing to do that I instead go to work and do something productive, hit the gym, help kids with homework and so on. Now granted, people can come to a stage where shame is not enough to keep them going and they need medicines, therapy and so on. But for someone lacking a moral compass in the first place, none of these things are going to work. We are biologically programmed to seek easy dopamine hits. It takes knowing that it's wrong to smoke fentanyl and get high to make use of available addiction treatment.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rewmie on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:24AM (#36969900)
> Easy. There are days where I feel like staying home and drinking beer / eating junk food / playing computer games.

Wait, is that your definition of mental illness?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by cat_plus_plus on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:37PM (#36973253)
No idea, I assume most people are like that and that some go for pills/therapy and the rest just don't talk about it much? But I am pretty sure that if I indulged these impulses every time, I would have a big problem soon. And then to get out of it, I would need to rediscover healthy shame of being a drunk, an unfit slob and a loser.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by woodruffw on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:49AM (#36970170)
I’m pretty sure I said exactly this in my comment. You can’t pile shame onto people who don’t feel shame; social schemes that apply shame pretty much only hurt people who already feel shame.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:16AM (#36967204)
HN throttles me, so for other commenters I can't engage in a discussion with you but hope you see this.

You are conflating guilt and shame. You should feel shame when you do wrong just as much you should feel pain when your body is harmed. I have no desire to debate specifics of morality and get off topic, but if your guilt is correct then your shame is always correct.

A person who does not accept their guilt cannot feel shame.

It isn't society pressuring you to feel guilt, it is society pressuring you to use a specific way to measure right and wrong. You can reject that way and talk about other ways by using logic and reason. But ultimately, it is impossible to not have a means of determining right and wrong even that is only "unprovoked physical harm to others" unless you are a complete sociopath. And if you do have such a system, you should feel guilt when you violate that system.

You have a choice when encountering guilt, to justify your actions or find excuses or to feel shame. A healthy mindser in my opinion would not be imprisoned by shame but empowered by it to self-correct and make amends. That way, you can be at peace with yourself and others.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by saulpw on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:59AM (#36967467)
Guilt is about behavior, shame is about being (self). So you feel guilty over something you've done, and you feel shame over it being who you are.

I agree with your statement that "guilt is society pressuring you to use a specific way to measure right and wrong", and shame is similarly the internal effect of society's pressures to measure your very being against that same code of morality.

But whether society is pushing your emotional buttons from the inside or the outside doesn't matter. In the end, I know I have felt deep shame for being something completely harmless and acting accordingly. I've spent years working to overcome this, and I will say in no uncertain terms that this is not justification or excuses, but a definitively healthier mindset--and my therapist and partner and community would agree. And if you would say that it would have been healthier to use my shame to instead alter my behavior and/or self (if that latter would even be possible), I would tell you and all the homophobes and Pauline Christians to go straight to hell.

I actually think you're right, that guilt/shame can be huge opportunity to evaluate your actions and your habits and your self, and to ignore it completely is to become the amoral shameless sociopath that you're decrying. But it needs to be a balanced and holistic examination, which unfortunately is not possible from a position of feeling such shame. This is the value of having someone, a therapist perhaps, to hold space for you to examine your true values, detached from the electric shock of shame. Then you can decide with your whole being whether to ignore the shame and become inured to it, or to accept that it accurately reflects your values and "self-correct" as you say.

This way is how you can be at peace with yourself and others.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dumpsterdiver on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:04AM (#36967149)
> So many societal problems would be solved if people had raised their kids to learn to feel shame. Trumpism, gun worship, climate change denial, post-truth mindset, anti-vaxx, treason, insurrection, racial hatred and discrimination,etc...

As you say, shame works very well. I'm baffled as to why you would assume that people who hold beliefs different from your own would raise their children without leaning upon the very effective "shaming" mechanism.

I'm also baffled as to why you would think that anyone would be ashamed of their beliefs when they were raised to believe those things. It appears that the left side of your argument isn't aware of what the right side just said.

Edit: In conclusion, your argument does not hold water. It assumes that your opponents do not think deeply upon contentious matters, and only you and yours do. You are dismissing their beliefs without bothering to look into the nuance of any single individual's personal stance, and instead painting half our population as extremists. You label all Republicans as "Trumpists" because they didn't vote for Biden. Give me a fucking break. Even the "Bidenists" aren't happy with Biden.

You are the one who should be ashamed, but you know all about that, right?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Thursday August 03, 2023 @10:03PM (#36994567)
> I'm baffled as to why you would assume that people who hold beliefs different from your own would raise their children without leaning upon the very effective "shaming" mechanism.

It isn't an assumption, it is my observation. Those examples are types of people that typically (not always) know they are causing harm and even by their own standards their actions are immoral. The nuances of individual's beliefs matter, just not for my brief example. But also, these nuances end up being mental gymanstics created as a result of cognitive dissonance and self deception, to avoid self-confrontation that might result out of shame.

> You label all Republicans as "Trumpists" because they didn't vote for Biden. Give me a fucking break. Even the "Bidenists" aren't happy with Biden.

I did nor label all republicans anything but trumpists are either sociopaths or shameless people. Knowing the objectively observable acte of that man, you would have to create so many excuses and claim every fact before you as a conspiracy or "fake news" to avoid feeling shame for supporting him. Republicans as a whole (democrarts too in their own way) are quite the shameless insidious bunch, either willfully ignorant or intentionally malicious to their fellow man. Keep in mind, I am judging people here based on my own beliefs, but my argument is that any reasonable moral system (especially Christianity) that the people i listed hold agrees with my belief.

There are things, like cruelty for the sake of it or tormenting children that just don't give you any gray middle ground for excuses so you have to challenge reality and facts to allow your behavior to continue without shame.

> You are the one who should be ashamed, but you know all about that, right? Maybe you should take a break from trying to save everyone else, and talk to a therapist about your savior complex. You might discover that you need some saving yourself.

You don't know anything about me but yes, in my own way I have my own mountains of shame, I hope I am not being shameless about anything I did wrong. I am not saving anyone else, I only mentioned those groups you objected to because they cause harm to me or people i care about without feeling shame, I am merely reducing harm and danger to me and mine. Anyone that claims they don't need saving are too busy digging a hole they can't climb out of.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:10AM (#36967174)
Add sexual degeneracy to the list

Someone please explain to me how sexual degeneracy doesn’t exist.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by sunderw on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:57AM (#36967857)
You are saying

> the thing so many of people with these views have in a common is they feel no shame about the harm they are causing.

> If in your own opinion you did something wrong, you should absolutley feel shame

It implies that the list of people you don't like think they did something wrong but refuse to feel shame about it.

To me, all those people are not shameless - in the sense that they don't feel shame _at all_ -, but don't feel shame because they don't feel like they did something wrong (how can you think you're wrong when you don't _believe_ in climate change ?).

So shame in itself is not the problem.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by badrabbit on Thursday August 03, 2023 @10:07PM (#36994593)
I didn't say I don't like those people, I said i believe they feel guilt yet avoid shame by using flawed reasoning and self deception. Those were just examples i thought would help sell my point to the HN crowd.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by babyshake on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:52AM (#36967092)
> I don't need more people being shamed for being gay, for wearing the wrong outfit or for not fitting in.

This is a strawman argument. I think what we're talking about is shame for having a reckless disregard for others. The way I think of it is we are increasingly living in a world where people are viewing other humans as "NPCs".

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by kenjackson on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:00AM (#36967130)
Is it a strawman? Isn’t that why we had the whole notion of being in the closet, to avoid shame to yourself and family?

I get it — let’s have shame for the things that “we” want there to be shame about. I just don’t think there is good consensus on what that is.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:05AM (#36967152)
We dont need to all agree on what is shameful before agreeing that shamefulness exists. Sure there are differences of opinion but perhaps the worst conclusion to draw is that we shouldnt tolerate shame of anything because we fear shame of 1 specific thing.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by kenjackson on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:48AM (#36967802)
Honestly I think this whole argument is wrong on its head. The issue is that those strung out on these drugs have no shame regardless of any social norms beyond it. Almost no one I know wants to be on meth. And those I know who are on meth don’t care what you think about most things. This whole discussion about shame plays little role for them.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by K0balt on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:08PM (#36990330)
That is actually my entire original point. In other cultures I have lived in, addicts moderate their externalities more successfully because of a sense of personal standards / shame. They still care how they are perceived.

My whole point is that to a surprising degree of divergence, addict culture in the USA particularly has abandoned those norms in favor of overt caustic social interaction.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:15AM (#36967197)
You’re overlooking the economic context in which that social norm arose in subsistence agriculture societies. In the third-world village where my dad grew up, survival required getting married and having a couple of kids to make ends meet on the farm. The under-5 mortality rate was 1 in 5 so the adoption market was virtually non-existent. And there was little surplus generated by the village that could be used to support childless couples doing non-agricultural work. That was the reality of human history from the advent of agriculture until the 20th century (and in many parts of Africa and Asia, that’s still the reality).

So what function did shame serve in that society?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by K0balt on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:14PM (#36990398)
First to clarify I do not mean shaming others. I mean a personal sense of shame.

Shame in third-world societies (like the one I have lived in for the last 15 years) serves many important functions.

In my case, it is a matriarchal culture. The worst thing that can happen to a person is that your mother would feel ashamed. So people go out of their way to not do shameful things like stealing, lying, being disorderly intoxicated, and other socially hostile activities. I find that it is effective at keeping social order, and one of the worst insults is to imply that someone was ill - raised.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by lodovic on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:45AM (#36967359)
The discussion is about taking hard drugs and being ashamed of that, not about coming out of the closet. Stop changing the subject.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by vmladenov on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:15AM (#36967586)
No subject is being changed. The assertion introduced in the root comment is about the effectiveness of public shaming as a means to sustain social order. There are many good replies arguing against that notion.

It is also the peak of naïveté to assume any mechanism of social control will remain restricted to our pet favorite cause. Isn’t that what every discussion here about encryption backdooors ends up concluding?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by lukas099 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:28PM (#36973126)
Then law and order should be subjected to the same scrutiny. Indeed, it has been and still is illegal to be gay in many jurisdictions.

If shifting social mores was able to change laws in some places, I see no reason to assume that the shaming system cannot.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by K0balt on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:19PM (#36990455)
My (now suppressed) comment was actually about a sense of personal shame, not public shaming, (which I see as most often destructive)

Unfortunately, my writing was unclear and many people (understandably) misunderstood the context. Sorry about that.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by K0balt on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:17PM (#36990427)
Actually my writing was bad, I didn’t even mean being ashamed of taking drugs, I meant being ashamed of doing socially harmful things that are often drug-abuse-adjacent in the USA.

Being ashamed of being an addict could lead to avoidance of treatment, so that might be a better example of a negative outcome of shame.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Izkata on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:25PM (#36976855)
> Isn’t that why we had the whole notion of being in the closet, to avoid shame to yourself and family?

That was fear, not shame.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dragonwriter on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @05:04PM (#36977423)
Shame (especially as a thing one might cultivate for social engineering purpose) is always tied to fear, though, you can’t really separate them.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Izkata on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:19PM (#36979714)
Shame is social stigma, and sure you can be fearful of it, but it's not the same thing: being in the closet is/was mostly about fear for yourself of hard repercussions - disownment by parents (if young), getting physically attacked, that kind of thing.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dragonwriter on Thursday August 03, 2023 @03:50AM (#36982651)
> Shame is social stigma, and sure you can be fearful of it, but it's not the same thing:

Fear (of shame itself, and/or of the concrete social consequences for yourself or others of shame that you might be subject to) is the entirety of the mechanism bt which shame acts as an influence on behavior.

> being in the closet is/was mostly about fear for yourself of hard repercussions - disownment by parents (if young), getting physically attacked, that kind of thing.

Yes, that's how shame as a social constraint works. There has never been a society in which shame worked as a social constraint without there existing hard social consequences, from ostracism (including exclusion from the material support mechanisms available to others in society) to outright honor killings, for having shame attach to you.

Not sure why people in this thread are romanticizing societies that center shame more than the modern West.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Izkata on Thursday August 03, 2023 @08:50AM (#36985183)
I'm not romanticizing anything, I'm saying this specific thing was directly about fear for your own safety/security, it wasn't shame-based.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dragonwriter on Thursday August 03, 2023 @10:22AM (#36986364)
Fear of the material consequences of social stigma is part of how shame in culture constrains behavior. It may not always involve the subjects of those consequences sharing the cultural indoctrination on which the shame is based (though, contrary to your description that tried to nearly separate it, LGBTQ people being closed often did—and still does, that phenomenon isn't purely in the past).

So is people imposing those material consequences because shame also attaches to those in social proximity to the trait to which society attaches primary shame, such as family members of those openly tolerant of it. Which is a big part of the source of the fear of consequences.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by 542354234235 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:19AM (#36972098)
No, we are talking about having a high shame-based culture as an effective and positive societal tool. As OP said, “cultures have unfortunately devalued shame to the point where it holds nearly no cultural power”. If shame is highly effective in a culture, then it is highly effective against more than just the one thing you would like it to be used for. In the recent past, shame was a very valued cultural norm and it was used overwhelmingly to enforce ridged ideas of cultural norms that included racial segregation, anti gay, anti empowered women, strict gender roles, etc. It isn’t a strawman to say that revaluing shame has broader implications than this right in front of your face problem.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:53AM (#36967095)
> It's difficult for me to overstate how much I disagree with you.

> I don't need more people being shamed for being gay

Well he never said anything about being gay. Perhaps you’re reading some other concerns into his comment.

Imagine two worlds where there is no murder. The first has no murder because no one feels inclined to murder. The second has no murder because there are very strong rules which stop people who feel inclined to do it. Can there possibly be any case made to choose the 2nd over the 1st?

Japan is a good example of this principle. Things are a lot more orderly despite a lot weaker enforcement mechanisms.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by makeitdouble on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:36AM (#36967300)
The 2nd has more people diversity than the 1st.

You'd think no one wanting to murder you is the best state, but practically people will have strong feelings about a lot of things in life, and it's hard to imagine a healthy society where "that would look bad on me" is enough to restrain you from your deepest anger moments. Having no immediate way to murder you + an active police to protect you should be the barrier to avoid a tragedy.

Japan is no exception. People get murdered everyday, but there is a lot of prevention and arrangement to limit the impact of a single individual going berserk. Police patrol will catch you walking down an empty street at 3 AM with a kitchen knife in hand.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:49AM (#36967390)
> The 2nd has more people diversity than the 1st.

Is this a coy way of saying not all diversity is good? Sure you have more would-be-murderers but obviously Id take a less diverse group if thats the diversity.

My point with Japan was not about murders. They have laws against murder. Even still, the prevention mechanisms are weaker. Less lethal equipment and training, not positioned in schools, etc.

It was more about social expectations that are not enforced but are more strictly followed than in the west because of a sort of shame.

The point is not even that more social shaming is strictly better, just that it’s certainly a stronger guide rail on behavior than rules that people otherwise sont care about.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by makeitdouble on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:11AM (#36967929)
This is a point that feels difficult to make, but yes, to my eyes more diversity is better, even at the cost of slightly more social chaos and a rougher social landscape (with some balance).

In a way I think Japan is paying that price in that it has a harder time to adapt to change and is slower to adapt new ideas. Japanese people are inventive and come up with a lot of good ideas, but society's homogeneity and stability means the hurdle to get any idea past the critical point is that much higher. Cash is still the only payment method allowed in a ton of commerce for instance, when Japan actually has so much advance regarding electronic payment variety and barrier to use.

On would-be-murderers, I am supposing they're not just different in their murdering intents, but also have different ideas, views of the world, and can deal with some situations better than the more obedient people. I'd see it as the best of both world if we could let them bring new ideas and try different things, while keeping active systems and arrangements preventing them from going to the dark side.

I wonder if Canada for instance is succeeding in this balancing act. I don't hate Japan as it currently is, but I think it stagnated way too long and it's becoming a bigger and bigger issue.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:15AM (#36967953)
> it's hard to imagine a healthy society where "that would look bad on me" is enough to restrain you from your deepest anger moments.

Really shame and accountability only work at small scale. Which should be rather obvious given that you like your friends and will associate with family members who you highly disagree with on fundamental issues, but you wouldn't have a tenth of the patience for some rando at a bar who's even closer to your opinions than those people.

As for laws and prevention, we have thousands of years of evidence for systems that don't work. Murders are even rather high in places with exceedingly draconian laws around them and weapons. Maybe, just maybe, it isn't the core reason that people don't murder. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with something else. I mean it isn't like we give women stronger punishments when they murder and that's why they murder at nearly an magnitude lower of a rate than men.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by ffhhttt on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:36AM (#36968474)
> Police patrol will catch you walking down an empty street at 3 AM with a kitchen knife in hand.

That’s really not the (main or significant) reason why Japan has a low murder rate.

Many European countries where there is little societal pressure, direct control and enforcement, drug use is fairly widespread and low level crime is rampant in large urban centers (compared to Japan of course) have comparable murder rates.

In this regard US is a huge outlier compared to pretty much all other “first world” countries.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by makeitdouble on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @06:04AM (#36968928)
Murder rate is a compound of many factors of course. I'd see the ban on firearms and control at the frontiers as the #1 reason there's so few violent crimes. The worse incidents outside of organized crime ducking it out have been people running around with knives, and it that limits a lot the extent of crimes.

In comparison, european countries are more connected and the networks will be a lot more international. For instance Marseille has a kind of violent crime that comes from guns and drugs smuggled at the port that won't happen as much in Japan (Fukuoka is a city of its kind in that regard...)

On police presence, you'll see crime rate similar to Japan in well funded districts that have a very local and always present police. That makes them part or the everyday life, they will be more relaxed, more aware of the oddities and weird behaviors, and residents will also rely on them more as they are familiar instead of being some kind of alien presence.

Of course these cities will also probably spend more on school equipment, libraries, public infra etc. This costs money/taxes that not every city has or is willing to spend.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by ffhhttt on Thursday August 03, 2023 @02:29AM (#36982136)
> I'd see the ban on firearms and control at the frontiers as the #1 reason there's so few violent crimes.

However we have countries like Switzerland were firearms are widely accessible (IIRC according to estimates more than half of the gun in the country are not even registered since they did not require that before joining Schengen) and there there is basically no frontier if you’re traveling on land.

And yet the murder rate in Switzerland is not that mich higher than in Japan.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by blackoil on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:27AM (#36967252)
It doesn't work selectively, if society can shame you into not taking drugs it will do so everything else non-confirming.

In my society not valuing individual freedom girls have/had been shamed into not wearing jeans/skirts, going out for night movie show or even cutting hairs.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by nonethewiser on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:51AM (#36967402)
First, you are conflating being ashamed with people shaming them thers.

Second, it doesnt follow that shaming 1 thing means shaming everything. And surely you can recognize that there exist some things that people should be ashamed of?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by tehbeard on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:10AM (#36967545)
And surely you can recognise that others can have a very different view of what's shameful, that's at odds with your own rosey view of it as a tool against self destructive behaviour?

Various religions and political groups have used and continue to use shame against the lgbt community, using monikers like sinful or perverse to shame them for who they are by grading them against some flawed ideal that they themselves often fail to attain.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by cat_plus_plus on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:47AM (#36967798)
It doesn't work selectively, if society can shame you into not posting homophobic tweets, they will do so with everything else non-conforming?
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by denkmoon on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:00AM (#36967870)
Please head over to X and observe the homophobic tweets.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by cat_plus_plus on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:04AM (#36967886)
Are you fine with both these tweets and people smoking fentanyl in public, or can social pressure do some good in both cases?
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by p91paul on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:53AM (#36968183)
In your society girls go around in underwear? nice!

Sorry, I really had to :)

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by ffhhttt on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:28AM (#36968427)
Maybe they are permanently stuck in the 80s and only allow baggy suit pants.

Or I guess… it’s probably a bit darker and they are not talking about a western country.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by forgingahead on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:30AM (#36967270)
Japan is highly homogenous - their immigration policy would be decried by many liberals in the West as "racist". It is a massive factor in how their society is run, and why they are so high-trust that they don't need strong enforcement mechanisms (in some cases. Don't be a Western car exec there for example).

There is a show on Netflix called "Old Enough!". It's worth watching to see how some of the high-trust works in practice, and also to perhaps think through if we could be comfortable with the same in our own neighbourhoods and countries. My guess for most people in the Anglo West, the answer would be "No".

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by harryVic on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:43AM (#36967346)
Singapore is incredibly diverse and doesn't have any drug problems due to tough laws.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by forgingahead on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:44AM (#36967772)
That's exactly my point. In high-trust, homogenous societies, you don't necessarily need harsh laws to enforce social norms and "civilised" behaviour. In more heterogenous societies, you have low-trust so you need tough laws to enforce the societal "norms".

Japan is the former and Singapore is the latter. Both end up in good places to live, but one has to have the full discussion about the reasons and causes for each.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Barrin92 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:22AM (#36968002)
Have you lived in Japan? Because this is an almost stereotypical outsider view of the country. Japan has draconian drug laws, up to 10 years for minor possession. People can be held in detention, repeatedly, for weeks without being formally accused. Police is visibly present in public.

All of East Asia is homogeneous. Every country is highly paternalistic and legalistic. North Korea is probably both the most homogeneous and authoritarian country on earth.

In reality heterogeneous societies are significantly less prone to this. You could not turn India or the US into comparable police states because nobody would even agree on how to get there. Singapore gets away with it because it's effectively a small city state. A country of similar composition but 10x larger, which happens to actually exist just North, Malaysia, could never maintain that level of repression.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by selimthegrim on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:12AM (#36969779)
> You could not turn India or the US into comparable police states because nobody would even agree on how to get there.

They seem to be perfectly fine with it in Kashmir.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Nursie on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:50AM (#36968174)
Some (many?) would say their drug laws and other harsh punishments are a problem in themselves.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by ffhhttt on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:40AM (#36968503)
It’s also a tiny country which happens to be a dictatorship where these drug laws are fairly easy to enforce.

Also I’m not convinced that executing people for non-violent crimes is a good tradeoff in the first place.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:04AM (#36967505)
Are other Asians, like Koreans or Taiwanese, allowed to immigrate to Japan? I thought just no one was allowed to immigrate easily, and that they basically have no immigration as a result. Is there a specific prohibition based on race?
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by skissane on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:58AM (#36967860)
> and that they basically have no immigration as a result

I don't know where this idea that "Japan has no immigration" comes from – it isn't true.

According to OECD statistics, in 2019 Japan (population 125 million) had net permanent immigration of 137,824 people. Compare that to fellow OECD member Mexico, with almost the same population, which in 2019 only had net permanent immigration of 38,704. [0]

In 2019, Japan's population was 2.2% foreign nationals. [1] While that is at the low end by OECD standards, it is still ahead of Hungary (1.9%), Lithuania (1.7%), Slovakia (1.4%), Turkey (1.1%), Poland (0.6%) and Mexico (0.4%).

According to MIPEX [2], the ease of gaining permanent residence in Japan is on par with the US and New Zealand, modestly easier than France and the UK, significantly easier than Switzerland or Australia. The worst country was Saudi Arabia, with UAE not far behind; equal first in ease were Brazil and Finland, with Sweden, Mexico and Ukraine equal second, and Hungary and South Africa equal third.

[0] https://data.oecd.org/migration/permanent-immigrant-inflows....

[1] https://data.oecd.org/migration/foreign-population.htm

[2] https://www.mipex.eu/permanent-residence

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:28PM (#36975906)
Well, for me, the idea comes from having been in Tokyo and seeing almost zero non-Japanese (looking people) compared to basically any large city in the West. Some of them could have been Korean etc though which is why I asked.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by skissane on Thursday August 03, 2023 @02:13AM (#36982041)
> Well, for me, the idea comes from having been in Tokyo and seeing almost zero non-Japanese (looking people) compared to basically any large city in the West. Some of them could have been Korean etc though which is why I asked.

The largest immigrant group in Japan is Chinese (including PRC, Taiwan and Hong Kong); second largest is Koreans. Many of the Korean ethnic minority are descendants of those who immigrated in the first half of the 20th century (when Korea was ruled by Japan), much of whom have never become Japanese citizens (Japanese citizenship is based on descent not birthplace–a very common policy worldwide), although there has also been much more recent immigration from South Korea. Another major immigrant group are Brazilians of Japanese descent.

I've only been to Japan once (on business), but while I was there I was introduced both to Koreans and to Japanese Brazilians; my Brazilian colleague was not expecting conversing in his native tongue to be a feature of that trip.

> the two I’m familiar with, Poland and Hungary, are notoriously anti immigration (at least within the context of the EU).

Poland and Hungary are opposed to accepting large numbers of refugees, especially non-European refugees.

But they aren't opposed to immigration in general. In 2021, legal foreign residents of Poland included [0] over 250,000 Ukrainians (mostly refugees), over 30,000 Belarusians, over 20,000 Germans, over 12,000 Russians; Poland doesn't restrict immigration only to the EU (or Europe), since the fifth highest foreign citizenship in Poland is Vietnam (over 10,000) and the eighth highest is China (over 6,000). Similarly, in 2022 Hungary [1] had over 17,000 legally resident Chinese citizens (third only to Ukraine and Germany; a decline from its 2018 peak when it was almost 20,000) and over 6,000 legally resident Vietnamese citizens (sixth most common foreign citizenship).

Citizens of most OECD countries do not find it difficult to be accepted for immigration by Poland or Hungary; low demand is a bigger limit on their numbers than government policy.

If you want to talk about a country which really is anti-immigrant, Saudi Arabia is a good example – although it has millions of temporary foreign residents, gaining permanent residency was basically impossible prior to 2019; now it is available, but only if you can afford the fee–over US$200,000. Acquiring citizenship is still extremely difficult, up to the selective whims of very senior government officials; the only people who have reasonable odds of being successful in their application are foreign women who marry Saudi men. Becoming a permanent resident or even citizen of Poland or Hungary is vastly easier.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Poland#Immigra...

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Hungary#Foreig...

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by zztop44 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:23AM (#36967636)
Why would Japan’s immigration policy be decried as racist? Just because the low raw numbers of total immigrants and (especially) refugees? Or is there something else?
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by goodpoint on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:36AM (#36968480)
It's indeed racist and not not "racist".
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:59AM (#36967866)
This is a terrible example. Most people do not want to murder, even when very angry. You don't need laws to make people not murder. The laws are for what to do when people do. No matter how universal an attribute is it'll never be 100%. Besides, you'll notice the murder rate is highly localized and associated with economic opportunities.

You know why talking about gay people _is_ a good example? Because you probably forgot that not even 10 years ago gay marriage wasn't legal in the US, or most of the world. In fact, only 10 countries did. 10. You probably forgot how heated that topic was. How people would try to shame two men for holding hands in public. We're not talking about some super flamboyant guy like that Key & Peele skit, but the other side of that. I mean just ask any Catholic how well shame works. Cultures change fast. Far faster than just the old people dying. But you don't get to be selective about what should be shameful or not. Times change and what was shameful in the past is considered fine now. In fact objecting to some things, such as gay marriage, have now reversed. Shame isn't defined objectively, just like our morals. So the argument doesn't work without this condition.

Speaking of Japan, you know where gay marriage is illegal? Japan. Just June the courts ruled that the ban is constitutional (but other courts have said it isn't). Which just became legal in Korea this year. Didn't even recognize the marriages of foreign diplomats till 2019. In fact, there are only two countries in Asia that have gay marriage: South Korea and Taiwan (2019 but not full rights till 2023). You can probably ask these people about how good shame is too.

You're going to need some strong evidence to convince me that Japan's low murder rate is because of its laws.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by darthrupert on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:27AM (#36968414)
Most people do want to murder when very angry, at least for the definition of very angry that I'm familiar with. The problem is that our societies drive more and more people to be very angry.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:05PM (#36974571)
You want to murder people? Remind me to stay away from you. Are you sure "most" is the correct qualifier or are you looking for "a lot." Those are very different. If you have 100 million people, most means that more than 50 people want to murder and that means there are some VERY effective counter measures out there. But with the same population, if 0.1% of people want to murder, you still got 100k murderers out there, which is still "a lot" in the total sense despite not being in the proportional. Make sure to not confuse these two things, it is extremely important.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by darthrupert on Thursday August 03, 2023 @10:49AM (#36986743)
I think what we have here is a misunderstanding of the concept of "very angry". Perhaps you haven't felt such a strong anger or cannot imagine being so angry that you could imagine murdering somebody.

Of course, it could be as you allude and I have a tendency that most (a lot? :)) of people don't and that you indeed should stay away from me. Nevertheless, I should add that in my 5 decades of life I've felt this only 1-2 times (the other is so long ago that I'm not sure) and neither of those times led to me acting on it. Why didn't I act on it? A combination of reasons: I knew it would have been ethically wrong; I didn't think I could do it without getting caught and I didn't want to face the consequences of being caught.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by taxyz on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:38AM (#36968490)
You’re either too young to remember or creating a non-existent history of what life was like before same-sex marriage was legalized. This is not a comment on anything to do with gay rights but more just a matter of fact: pre-Obergefell life was VERY similar to life today. Gay people still lived together, still went on dates, and held hands. They weren’t run out of town for being gay. There wasn’t rampant homophobia everywhere you turned and anti-gay gangs roaming about enforcing the social order. They just couldn’t enjoy the legal benefits of marriage.

If anything, things are probably worse from a sentiment perspective for gay people now because a bunch of heterosexual liberal white women use pride parades to act completely shamelessly under the guise of being warriors for a movement they aren’t otherwise a part of.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by mptest on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:54AM (#36968594)
Wow! They could still hold hands in public. Who cares if they weren't afforded the same legal and financial rights, they could go on dates! Pretty crazy comment man or maybe I'm naive as a straight dude.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by taxyz on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:11PM (#36973729)
I don't think the comment is crazy, and I'm going to afford you the grace you didn't afford me in the reading of your comment. My comment was not about the significance of being able to marry or whether or not same-sex marriage was a huge milestone. My comment was simply about the public sentiment around same-sex relationships and that 2013 wasn't some bigoted era where people only changed their mind because of a single supreme court decision.

Reading the past by todays standards are why social progressives are starting to lose ground. They just can't accept their win.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:15PM (#36974702)
Except this isn't true. You're right that in 2013 we weren't burning gays at the stake like some imagined Victorian era scheme. But thinking I suggested that is putting words in my mouth. But in 2016 it was definitely a national conversation if a bakery was allowed to deny service based on the sexual orientation of the purchasing party. No, we weren't roaming the street mad max style hunting down gas, but neither was it all rainbows and lollipops where no one gave a shit if two men held hands in public.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by fennecfoxy on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:58AM (#36968624)
Except even now I still get harassed for holding a guy's hand. I still look over my shoulder.

Because people will give you disgusted looks when lots of other people are around, maybe they'll be brave enough to attack you. But when it's just them and their mates around, they _will_ attack you.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:55PM (#36974422)
Exactly this. I think people are willingly blind. It can be hard, because you don't see what others are claiming they're commonly victims of. You don't want to admit that something bad is happening right under your nose and worse, that you've been unable to see it! I'll admit, when I was younger I also believed the problems weren't as large as they are. Not gay, but did experience far more racism than I expected (experiences in sibling comment). Truth is that the world is complex and that your single experience is nowhere near enough to make good judgements about how likely events are. There's far more going on than what we see, and we're sold on simplicity and that if we don't see it that it doesn't exist despite overwhelming evidence.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by aaronbeekay on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @09:20AM (#36970514)
What?? Yes, there absolutely were people who were run out of town for being gay. There was indeed rampant homophobia. What world were you living in?
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by taxyz on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:28PM (#36973997)
If you are implying that in the recent era - we'll look at 2013 leading up to same-sex marriage being legalized - that there was rampant homophobia, the data does not support your claim.

According to the FBI, in 2013 there was 334 hate crimes committed against LGBTQIA+ people [1]. The US population back then was 315 million [2]. In 2013, according to Gallup, 3.6% of Americans identified as LGBTQIA+ in 2013 [3]. Which means the crime rate was 1 per 33,952 persons, or normalizing to per 100,000 as crime is usually reported is 2.94 per 100,000 which is on par or LOWER than any other category of heinous crime for that era. In fact, 2013 has one of the safest years on record [4].

Furthermore, public sentiment had already switched in favor of same-sex marriage before it was even legalized, according to Pew research [5].

What world were you living in?

[1] https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crim... [2] https://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/population... [3] https://news.gallup.com/poll/389792/lgbt-identification-tick... [4] https://www.statista.com/statistics/191219/reported-violent-... [5] https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2013/03/20/growing-supp...

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:50PM (#36974330)
> What world were you living in?

The one where in 2016 this happened and was part of a very large country wide discussion, with the exact same conversation about the cake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COItiKtHWyg

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:46PM (#36974262)
> Gay people still lived together, still went on dates, and held hands. They weren’t run out of town for being gay.

Are you sure __YOU__ aren't the one creating a non-existent history? Talk about calling the kettle black.

Either you've forgotten the past or more likely were just never exposed to those things. It is important to remember that our lives are not always identical to others, even those in close proximity.

I am definitely old enough to: remember my gay cousin having to hide any notion of his sexuality, and trying to deny it himself; the secret shame my aunt and uncle had for having a gay kid, never talking about it and doubling down on religion; the protests in 2008 where people said that gays had all the same rights but it was about the "sanctity of marriage," and how a "no" meant that they were going to teach children gay sex in schools; I'm old enough to remember it being a big deal that our president got a blowjob from someone that wasn't his wife, that such a shameful act was enough to impeach him, where saying "I didn't inhale" was ghastly let alone something like "grab 'em by the pussy"; I'm old enough to remember getting smog poisoning; I'm old enough to remember waking up early for cartoons, knowing where my friends are by finding the pile of bikes, and having the dad answer the phone when I was calling to ask a girl on a date.

Yes, it was that prop 8, and I did grow up in California. Not a rural part, all this happened in Orange and LA county. This isn't an uncommon thing.

But to catch you up on some things, here's some other things you might not have experienced. A little over 5 years ago I dated a black girl (I'm white) in a major Southern city and we both got looks, comments, and overall different treatment, especially when we weren't out with a group of white friends. This is something I, or her, didn't realize was as bad until it happened. A few years back (on the west coast), when I dated a South Asian girl I got comments asking why I don't date a "real" Asian, "one of the better ones", accused of liking submissive women (clearly they never met an Asian woman), being a colonizer, and other such comments. I had "shame" to tell my parents about the fact that I'm currently dating a Korean woman because I get accused of having "yellow fever," since they just ignore all the other women I've ever dated. The white women, the Latina women, or others I've chased or had crushes on (which btw, still got racist comments for any non-white girl). That I was actually introduced and set up to those last two girls rather than actively seeking them out. That this is just how the dice fell and it is probably unsurprising given that I'm in grad school in a west coast city. That I still get some of the same comments as before, that there's pressure on her for not dating a Korean, Asian men (even non-Korean) give me comments about how I'll never fit in and heavily imply only Asians should date Asians. Or again how people think I want to just dominate this woman, who is undeniably fierce and independent. All this still fucking exists.

You're not wrong about people virtual signaling. It annoys the fuck out of me too. You may notice some of those comments above aren't things a conservative would say... But you're swinging the pendulum in the other direction rather than dampening it. That's not any better. You can call out hypocrisy without perpetuating a fictitious dichotomy. By the very nature of only complaining about white liberal women you actively are perpetuating this dichotomy. Taking us further down the rabbit hole. I'm sorry, the world is complicated and it wouldn't be better if you just made all the liberals disappear (and similarly wouldn't be better if you made all the conservatives disappear). It's not a bunch of wizards lording over, pulling magic strings in the sky, it is because the world is exceptionally complex and we're all fucking idiots barely able to comprehend our small little corner.

To also help, let me explain the differences between conservative and liberal racism, with an example from my Muslim friend: Liberal racists randomly walk up to her and tell her how brave she is for wearing her hijab, conservative racists tell he to go back to where she came from. No, neither is great, but I bet you can tell one is preferred over the other. The real truth of the matter is, is that a lot of people are the same, they just ascribe to different tribes. They sing the same songs and dance the same dance, but pretend they're fundamentally different because it is in a different key. I have a lot to say about all this, but I don't want to start my morning angry.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by runamok on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:03AM (#36971870)
Yeah imo we are talking less about shame in particular about cultural norms.

A country like Japan is largely homogenous for good or for ill and their rate of immigration is low so newcomers assimilate.

The US is much more heterogenous, especially in large metros. There is subsequently less overlap in cultural norms. That comes with both benefits and downsides such as topics like drugs and gay marriage and many more.

I read something too about stable cultures have the rate of newcomers that is low enough that they can learn the cultural norms from the legacy folks vs. becoming more of a free for all because almost everyone is new so the blind are leading the blind. I think it was in reference to events like: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by 542354234235 on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:12AM (#36971983)
>Shame is an important aspect of behaviour moderation, a negative emotion usefully experienced when doing something that breaks the social contract. Devaluing shame instad of targeting the parts of the contract that needed to be changed has cost us a critical tool for self moderation

I don't know how you could read that in the comment that started this and think this was generally about cultural norms. It was specifically and explicitly about shame, which I think is a terrible tool that has a negative effect on society in 99% of cases.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by runamok on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:36PM (#36975029)
Shame as one of many aspects of cultural norms was my core point.

What are Japanese ashamed of vs US Cidwesterns vs. US Californians, vs. their religiosity, individualism, collectivism, etc.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @12:58PM (#36973558)
Here's the problem though. Shit is complicated.

Trying to turn this into:

- Harsh punishments stop crime: doesn't work because we've tried it for thousands of years and we even tried it in the 90's and no credible paper says that's the reason for the subsequent decrease.

- Cultural homogeneity is the only solution so west is fucked: is just a non-starter explanation and doesn't lead anywhere to solving the issue. It is also stopping shy of actually explaining anything. If homogeneity were "the answer", then it either it is just a confounder or the foreigners are doing vastly more crime than the citizens.

I'd suggest that actually the underlying issue at hand is that everyone is trying to get simple easy to understand answers. That this idiotic belief that the world is simple is why we're grinding so many gears. Nearly nothing in the modern world is simple. We've solved those problems a long time ago. We had thousands of years to work on these and it should make sense that the simple problems got solved first.

What's going on is now people's propensity to both care too much and too little is harming us to such a degree that it makes problems too difficult to solve. People care enough about these problems to make strong statements and virulently fight one another. But at the same time they don't care enough to look into the problem and try to understand any nuance or depth to it. When they end up doing so they often turn to conspiracy which ends up being another easy explanation such as "wizards did it." The classic "if it weren't for 'them' then everything would be solved." Which is closer to this homogeneity argument, since Japan has a lot of problems (as well as good). It is easy to romanticize places. The clique works both ways: the grass is always greener can be about your neighbor's lawn compared to yours or the other way around. Seemingly paradoxically they can both be believed by the same person. If only the world were that simple, where at least such a claim is measurable.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by runamok on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:50PM (#36975253)
100% agree. I also think there is both an attempt to ignore NIH (not invented here) solutions (look at what other countries do well WRT health case vs. the US) as well as to assume NIH solutions will be a simple copy/paste (see decriminalization which mostly worked in Portugal though it is now showing strain as they lower the funds for rehab, etc. vs. Oregon).

As you say "Shit is complicated".

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by godelski on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:23PM (#36975801)
> r.e. health care

I fully agree. On one hand people in the US only show medical bills that don't include insurance deductions, which are exceptionally high. While most people have insurance, so never face these payments, most people that don't never make the full payments and do get reductions. There are exceptions, but exaggerating the problem (which it still is a problem!) is not helpful but actively harmful to the conversation since it creates an easy to tear down strawman. Similarly romanticizing the healthcare of other countries is problematic. I'm going through a situation right now where my gf went back to her home country which has a nationalized health care only to find that she's paying more that we paid here. Where we didn't even max out our deductible for a near death experience that led to months in a hospital. But costs are wildly variable and this makes it hard to wrap our heads around because the systems are not easy to compare.

> r.e. Oregon

I'm curious if anyone clicked on any of the links that the article offers. While the article says "Last year, the state experienced one of the _sharpest rises_ in overdose deaths in the nation..." the "sharpest rise" link goes to a CDC website (https://archive.ph/7MbUn) that seems to only work in Edge browser. But that those numbers are based on predicted rather than reported, and that there are similar or even larger increases in Washington (24), Mane (17), (put Oregon here (14.5)) Wyoming (13), Nevada (12.5), Oklahoma (12), Texas (10.5), and Alabama (10) (rounded to nearest .5% of increased change). Interestingly here Oregon has one of the smallest gaps. Similarly the data only goes up to Feb 2023 which is only 2 months of the law being in effect. The sharp rise appears to be October to December of 2022 and a reported fall thereafter (only time that Oregon's reported and predicted values diverge). The article does not actually make a strong evidence based case around Oregon, but rather focuses on emotional with a sprinkling of policy and facts. But of course this is the case, as there's absolutely no way we could accurately judge if Oregon's experiment is a success given that it has only been running for 7 months and we'd need several years worth of data to make such a judgement (especially as we'd expect early results to have higher variance as a learning curve exists). Any data right now is more likely the result of coupled effects rather than actual policy. I mean it isn't like addictions are cured in a few weeks. And if I recall, Portugal had similar initial strains and that it has widely been discussed that people predict initial increases before overall trend downs, made long prior to even Oregon discussing decriminalization. I'm pretty sure we see a similar effect with weed. Like I said, shit is complicated.

I think what is instead happening is that due to the lack of any real evidence people are grasping at weak ones, and pretending their straw armor is made of steel because it supports their prior beliefs. Who knows if Oregon will be a success or not, but it is far to early to tell or have strong opinions.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:06AM (#36967160)
What do you mean shame doesn’t work? America is a country that literally can’t reproduce itself without importing people from countries where mothers shame children for not having children in a timely manner. America had 100,000 people die of drug overdoses last year, whereas societies that shame people for drug use have far lower rates of overdoses. Middle eastern and south Asian countries that shame people for pre-marital sex largely managed to avoid the AIDS epidemic that gripped similarly poor countries in other regions.

And let’s not forget that we live in a country that became a world power under a social structure that was much more rigid and repressive than the one we have today. Our relative decline in economic importance is probably caused by other economic trends, but it’s pretty wild to say “shame doesn’t work” despite the evidence to the contrary.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by toofy on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:40AM (#36967324)
> Middle eastern and south Asian countries that shame people for pre-marital sex largely managed to avoid the AIDS epidemic

this is absurd, there are plenty of countries who have high levels of shame where aids is still running rampant. and to even imply that we (the us) didn’t have high levels of pre-marital sex in “the good old days when we could shame people” is naive to an extreme.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by selimthegrim on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:30AM (#36967269)
If you think AIDS isn’t a problem in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, I have a bridge to sell you.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:28AM (#36969944)
Bangladesh has a low AIDS prevalence rate compared to the rest of the world. It actually has a pretty good system for screening and reporting as well, so the statistics are reliable. Overall, Southeast/Southeast Asia, the Middle East, and North Africa have the lowest aids prevalence rates: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_HIV/AIDS
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by happymellon on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:45AM (#36967352)
> Middle eastern and south Asian countries that shame people for pre-marital sex largely managed to avoid the AIDS epidemic that gripped similarly poor countries in other regions.

Are you serious?

Pre-marital rape is a massive issue there, as is underage rape, and rape "to just teach those women a lesson".

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:12AM (#36967567)
I think they take a different approach though, where women are guarded by the family from being in situations where males, who are known and accepted to be violently sexually aggressive, might harm them. Then women who end up in such situations anyway are considered fair game, more or less.

I imagine, though, that while the numbers for various rape types are probably relatively high compared to other countries, those crimes still affect a tiny minority of women and wouldn’t move the broader needle on HIV rates. I would guess that date rape is also extremely lower than in the west due to courtship practices being very different (which would work against high HIV rates).

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:03AM (#36969693)
There is no evidence to support the assertion that rates of rape are “relatively high” in those countries. You can assume the statistics are vastly underreported—and they certainly are—but you’d have to multiply them by 100x or 1000x to reach the rates of the US. At that point you’re speculating.

The (frankly kind of bigoted) assumption here is that being well intentioned and having the “right” attitudes towards female sexuality is somehow more effective at preventing rape than strict social separation of the sexes.

And you’re correct that non-consensual sex is a relatively small factor in HIV rates compared to widespread consensual sex with multiple partners.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:01AM (#36971846)
Yeah I actually have no idea about the stats, just assumed GP wasn’t completely making things up. I would not be surprised if you are correct though, brute forcing the problem does seem like it would work (no pun intended).

> Then women who end up in such situations anyway are considered fair game, more or less.

Would you say this part is accurate?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @07:54AM (#36969604)
Incidents of those things are an issue in the sense that they happen and shouldn’t. But rates of rape overall are vastly lower than in the U.S. Female homicide, a related crime that’s harder to cover up, is ten times higher in the U.S. than in Saudi Arabia.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:16AM (#36967592)
What drugs are you thinking of that are prone to overdose and are also socially accepted? I can’t really think of any…

> And let’s not forget that we live in a country that became a world power under a social structure that was much more rigid and repressive than the one we have today

Great point, it’s interesting how eager people are to perform large scale social experiments in rapid succession and with no roll back button.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by alienbeast on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @10:37AM (#36971518)
>What drugs are you thinking of that are prone to overdose and are also socially accepted? I can’t really think of any…

Alcohol?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by pfannkuchen on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @10:52AM (#36971721)
Alcohol was very popular when western society was still big on shame though, so I’m assuming that isn’t what is being referred to.
Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by ffhhttt on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @04:46AM (#36968545)
> let’s not forget that we live in a country that became a world power under a social structure that was much more rigid and repressive than the one we have today.

Was it significantly more rigid and repressive than in other countries at the time? I don’t think so.

Also your AIDS and sex related crime statistics seem to be imaginary?

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by selimthegrim on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @08:13AM (#36969790)
> > let’s not forget that we live in a country that became a world power under a social structure that was much more rigid and repressive than the one we have today.

These sound like the arguments I hear from people that wish BD should have stayed East Pakistan.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dragonwriter on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:07AM (#36971920)
> What do you mean shame doesn’t work? America is a country that literally can’t reproduce itself without importing people from countries where mothers shame children for not having children in a timely manner.

Not sure why you are trying to invoke shame for something that is a well-known effect of economic conditions, and which has been observed to change with those conditions much faster than (and likely driving rather than driven by) cultural change.

> America had 100,000 people die of drug overdoses last year, whereas societies that shame people for drug use have far lower rates of overdoses.

So do countries that shame people less, like most of the rest of the developed world.

> Middle eastern and south Asian countries that shame people for pre-marital sex largely managed to avoid the AIDS epidemic that gripped similarly poor countries in other regions.

Which is some good luck for them, but one of the reasons it spread so much and i nterventions were so difficult jn Africa was strongly shame-centering cultures interfering with both prevention and treatment (and even acknowledging the fact and nature of the problem.) So, kind of not helping your argument.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by rayiner on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:28AM (#36972232)
> Not sure why you are trying to invoke shame for something that is a well-known effect of economic conditions, and which has been observed to change with those conditions much faster than (and likely driving rather than driven by) cultural change

Ascribing it to “economic conditions” blinks reality. Americans are economically better off now than they were in the 1960s, when TFR was much higher. Wealthier states like Massachusetts have much lower TFR than poorer states like Idaho and Nebraska. And whites are much more affluent than Hispanics, but have much lower TFR.

The effect of culture is apparent even when you dig further into subgroups. Asian Americans have the lowest TFR, despite being the most affluent and educated. But Muslim Americans, who are also wealthy and educated, have a much higher TFR than whites and other Asians. Both are more collectivist and less individualistic cultures, but there’s a long history of population control ingrained into East and south Asian culture, while there is a strong emphasis on procreation in Islam.

Frankly, it makes me laugh when I hear it. Poor Hispanic and Muslim immigrants are hard at work raising the next generation, but college educated white Americans “can’t afford kids.” Right.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by dragonwriter on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @11:46AM (#36972496)
> Ascribing it to “economic conditions” blinks reality.

No, it reflects well-established reality.

> Americans are economically better off now than they were in the 1960s, when TFR was much higher.

Yes, exactly. Globally, on a by-nation level, prosperity in general and social safety nets in particular, as well as access to birth control, are close and immediate drivers of reduced fertility. When family is your only old-age, disability, or unemployment support network, the economic incentive to have a large family is greater. When those are socially provided, raising children is a cost without as much of an economic purpose.

> But Muslim Americans, who are also wealthy and educated, have a much higher TFR than whites and other Asians.

Muslims in the USA are not more educated than the general population, having college degrees at about the same rate as the general population (31% in 2017, vs. 34.2% for the general population). [0][1] They also aren’t more affluent, being similarly likely to have an income over $100,000 but more likely to have an income under $30,000 than the general population. [0] Also, Muslims aren’t categorically Asians or categorically non-White (in fact, more are White than Asian, racially [0]), so you should either not use “other” for either racial category or should use “other” for both; the non-parallel use suggests you think Muslims are categorically a racial subgroup of Asians.

[0] https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2017/07/26/demographic-...

[1] https://www.statista.com/statistics/184260/educational-attai...

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by foxhill on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @01:40AM (#36967318)
i don’t think that’s a sensible reading or conclusion from OP’s comment.

indeed, your conclusion appears to desire the very thing OP was calling in to question without justification - the existence of that authority figure.

why do you think people should be told how to be? remember it’s more frequently been the law that has outlawed being gay, or say, more recently in florida, wearing the wrong thing.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by Takennickname on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @02:06AM (#36967516)
Why do we have to involve gays and lgbtq in everything? This is clearly talking about drugs.

I personally don't care what people putt in the butt but Lgbtq are just as bad as Trump all they both want is attention.

Re:Oregon Decriminalized Hard Drugs by DiggyJohnson on Wednesday August 02, 2023 @03:33PM (#36975970)
> I don't need more people being shamed for being gay, for wearing the wrong outfit or for not fitting in.

You're introducing these things into a thread about shame and drug usage. It's a complete non-sequitur.