But it's unacceptable for a man to do/think the same.

We don't have to give birth. Being self reliant is thus our cross to bear.

This comment makes no sense.

Women have the sacred responsibly to bring children to life. The least men can do is be reliable and handle their emotions.

This comment is quite demeaning to women's intelligence. There is no reason for a woman to consider that emotional openness on the side of her husband is an indication that their family won't survive.

Crying is an expression of bottled up emotions, not an acceptance of defeat. Someone can cry and be invigorated to try harder to deal with their problems or they can cry but still be supportive to their spouse and provide emotional stability.

Womens' reactions are dependent upon their personality, their values, their view of the other person, the environment, their current emotional state, their biology and a lot of other factors at any given moment. This explains the fact that some people in this thread talk about how their crying led to more fulfilling relationships why others talk about break ups and loss of trust.

Even the point about children is completely arbitrary. Will children feel that their family won't survive due to their father crying about a lost relative? Doesn't it depend on their age? Furthermore, children need to see that their parents are humans and how to express their emotions. The alternative is that they find more indirect ways to do that like alcoholism, abuse, self-harm, extreme escapism and many other banes of today's society.

This is why I said I want to hear from women, not men. Obviously one of you will show up hah.

I'm not a man, but you are obviously looking for opinions validating yours, not to actually listen to women.

So are you a woman then?

Personal attacks will get you banned here, so please don't post like this.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Edit: you've broken the site guidelines so badly that I've banned the account. Please see https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34669955.

He didn’t even interpret the reason for it. Just that a woman may be disgusted.

You covered some reason for it on the woman’s part. While he (OP) seemed to only be talking about the man’s reason (motivation) to not act like that.

I'm saying it's not disgust. He is interpreting the disgust incorrectly.

And when she can no longer rely on you being the same person as you have been for 5-10 years, then she might not think rationally.

Of course, rational thought would say "he's been good for so long, this is probably just temporary, I will help him through this" but are women generally known for rational thought?

> are women generally known for rational thought

That's beyond the pale and we've banned the account. Please don't create accounts to break HN's rules with.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

The one against flamebait for starters.

Oh no! he showed....gasps emotion! Surely you can't rely on someone who shows emotion? The stereotype of "the man cries = we're doomed" is perpetuated by people who think like you. It's not like men are designed to just not cry unless they're doomed.

Men are only allowed to cry after they have proven themselves. For the most part this takes years.