It wasn't particularly bitter – just, wtf. Bitter was when I was bedridden because of a flu, and when I finally had energy to go out to get some food, my bike got stolen in the 10 minutes I was in the grocery store. It was a miserable trip back home.
I still have nightmares about the time I woke up on a Saturday morning to the sounds of a disturbed and dying woman screaming after she doused herself in gasoline and lit herself on fire at Dorland and Guerrero.
Some of the screams were from people who had tried to help her and ended up injuring themselves.
https://missionlocal.org/2012/07/apparent-attempted-suicide-...
When I was a (fairly reckless) teenager, I got into a fight and got "stabbed" in my side (minor wound). Honestly, it's not something I consider as traumatic.
It _was_ an effective way to stop the fight though.
It really is bad, right, and not my imagination? I feel like I’ve wasted a decade of my life here on an endless string of bad first dates with no mutual attraction.
It wasn’t like that in other places I’ve lived. I mentioned this to a family member recently, and they said it’s harder because I’m getting older. That’s probably true, but I swear it’s rough in this city.
It’s a bit like buying a house here: you spend a huge amount of time, effort, and money, and end up with less than you’d get back home.
Hope NYC worked out better for you.
If not, I hope you can get over your FOMO, or just keep searching for this imaginary ‘best’ partner that may or may not exist.
The pursuit of the "the best" is one of the most toxic parts of Bay area culture. In want of the "the best" I've seen people double/triple book themselves for events so they can flake on 2 and go to the one they want in the moment. I've seen people endlessly date, permanently unsatisfied with every human they encounter (if you can have 100 dates in 2 yrs and no one lives up to your standards, high probability thats more about you than them). In pursuit of "the best" people undermine eachother at work, and fail to keep their words. On and on it goes.
This was a top3 for leaving. I realized that in the same way my politics are not welcome in the company I work for, so I just disengaged, the politics of SF made me an unwelcome, unwanted form of "diversity". So I left, along with all my tax burden, cultural contributions, and normally positive nature.
My apartment was broken into, my car was broken into multiple times, my roommate was mugged at knifepoint and stabbed (she was fine), my bike was stripped for parts (they stole the handlebars / shifters and seat while it was locked up), and my car was stolen, driven around the neighborhood in broad daylight when I spotted it at 19th and South Van Ness and tried to steal it back and was almost run over, and then it was disposed of in Hunter’s Point completely stripped and wrecked (no passenger seat, interior panels, stick shift, battery or wheels).
Amusingly though I moved to NYC because of boredom, a bad breakup and the abysmal dating prospects, not the constant crime.