But I absolutely can notice that I get kind of feral after long isolation periods, even in terms of language abilities -- but I only notice it when being with other people again, not while alone; while alone I feel much clearer as you said.
My point being what you feel about your cognitive processes/world might not be objective reality.
And I thought I was an introvert who loved to spend time alone. Which I do, but turns out I also need social interactions to survive, and since I always had it at my disposal, I only noticed the deficiency once I lost it and couldn't get it back.
While I do take part in a couple of local regular sports group activities after work, making strong friendships or relationships from those has proven tough to nearly impossible. Seems like nearly everyone in their 30s with a full time job, already has kids or a romantic relationship or has a long term friend group from their youth that occupies their free time so they can't suddenly accommodate an extra +1.
I can't see it getting better. I feel like a meatbag drone grinding away on shitty codebases in front of a screen 8h/day, just to pay rent and taxes for the next 40 years and die alone after, and compensate for the loneliness by traveling and sports. Only comfort is I don't suffer any grave physical illness so at least I got that going for me.
Maybe I should switch careers to something lower paying that has more human interaction and a better female/male ratio than SW development.
People are difficult to get to know but they say if you get to know someone who is good and not a bad person you immediately love them.
As a passing stranger reading your dilemma I also reject working until you die as a lifestyle choice. Everyone has the same 24 hours available to them. You don't have to accept the status quo if you don't want to. But you need to accept some risks. People have higher standards for others than for themselves. So getting to know people people put up walls of standards that they themselves don't abide.
Happy to talk tech spiritual stuff with you if you want someone to talk to.
That sounds like "let them eat cake"-level of advice.
Those who work long hours and navigate burnout borders often do so because it's extremely important for them to at least meet a bar that unblocks other life goals.
In some cases, not meeting the bar can result in losing a home, go bankrupt, or lose a partner/family.
Framing that as just a risk that someone needs to accept is irresponsible and naive advice. It's like telling someone in a sinking ship that not managing to hold onto a life raft is a risk that needs to be accepted, when to them it's the only acceptable option.
Of course things could get worse if you take a risk. But that's why we have limited liability.
I am not framing their circumstances as something that people should just accept. I'm saying if they want something they should take a risk and try get it.
One thing that I do is get coffee regularly in the morning with a group of guys. (It took dedication to get to this point)
Community is showing up. We have been doing Mondays for almost 7 years now and not everyone is married with kids.
If you pick somewhere and go there every week at the same time you slowly get incorporated. E.g. library, bookstore, chapel, coffee shop, bar, etc.
Obviously there are some people who may have conditions that make it impossible or require medical intervention to perform certain physical or social activities. The vast majority of people can do these things and don't have extreme social or physical complications. It's more a matter of some willpower or having a smooth introduction and gradual or manageable increase of discomfort.
A huuuuge asterix is needed there. Stress can help build you up, only as long as it's controllable, within the tolerable limits of each individual and is paired enough quality sleep and rest when needed (like going to the gym)
Otherwise, stress outside the limits and control of the individual, with bad sleep and little rest, as they usually go hand in hand, leads to burnout, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, homelessness, etc.
The same is true for countless other physical and psychological processes. Some stress is great, but you have to be very careful if you lack buildup or recovery periods.
The entire human body responds to moderate stress by improving itself. Studies have shown that fasting, exercise, and "cognitive taxation" aka learning through practice improves related areas and there is causative connections here.
I think this, plus the correlation from the study is effectively strong evidence for isolation being causative to lower intelligence.
We'd have to run an actual causative experiment here to establish this with any sort of finality though.
Again, I believe the basic conclusion that isolation is bad for your brain is likely true, but I'm not sure I agree that this is strong evidence for it. People who sit in wheelchairs a lot have low leg strength; the wheelchairs aren't usually causing it.