Sorry, you're blaming someone else for the decision on chosing Small Child vs Cute Loveable Puppy? Buyer's remorse is strong. You should have researched the return options before purchase. However, adding Cute Loveable Puppy can sometimes improve Small Child, or just add to headache.

Be careful. Testing has shown that if you run the Small Child and Cute Loveable Puppy containers on the same host, drink(alcohol) may start running at about 9:30 pm.

Oh sorry, I didn't mean to mislead! I don't own either model, I just am disucssing my experiences as a user. See my sister has both a puppy and a small child... Her and my brother-in-law have set up a combined SCaaS and PaaS called 'extended family'. As an early adopter (they call it "uncle" but whatever, silly naming has been a thing since "tweet"), I get more access than I can use to both small child and puppy. It's actually a great service if you're on the fence about getting your own, you can just send an SMS to 'extended family' and reserve some time. Most of the benefits of ownership, and when one of the defects littering this thread pops up, 'extended family' takes care of all the maintenance.

My best friend runs a similar service called "chosen family" and my early adopter title is "godfather" (i like that one, very mobster), but otherwise the service is basically the same.

If you're at all unsure about investing in small child or puppy, take a look around for a similar service to help with the decision!

Puppy also happily rolls in excrement if you don't run the Leash plugin.

I have the 2017 Small Child Pro and mine tried to eat a cigarette butt that she found in a mud puddle but at least she doesn't roll in goose shit.

You should have splurged for the Small Child Pro Max++. It comes with the extra neural engine cores. Sometimes buying the top of the line unit seems too expensive at time of purchase, but it's only after some usage does the decision to save money up front come to be regretted.

Power management is terrible on the Pro Max++, to say nothing of the stability issues.

I have a 2016 model. You're in for a wonderful year - enjoy every second of it!! :)

My 2016 model has a bug whenever any mode of communication contains bathroom words.

The child fails to respond to any further verbal input and emits some sort of sound akin to a hyena.

Nice, have you found a way to suppress the "sass" function? Is there a patch or something?

I mean sometimes I feel like mine is a much older model in a small casing.

"Sass" seems to be a critical component of the operating system. That process runs unless my model is asleep or needs a doctor. Have you heard of the sass-back algorithm? Don't let it run constantly because it loses its impact, but you can always pull it out when you need the sassing to just stop....

function sass-back (sass): return sass

I'm not sure why, but sass-back seems to put sass into a panic. It temporarily stops all system output while it tries to restart and initiates "stare".

At least that's usually the case! Our puppy is positively defective - she eats what she needs, and leaves the rest in the bowl. Unless there's chicken.

Such bug-features are always handy! I wonder if it's consistently reproducible in other dogs, maybe there's some source code behind it that may be useful in other species?

> I wonder if it's consistently reproducible in other dogs

Our dog had the same behavior, but sterilization introduced a regression bug and she is now constantly hungry and begging for food.

It did solve the problem of giving her medicine, though: just present it as food and it's going to be devoured.