I'd like to give a heads up that this can and may come crashing down[1]. The 'Dark Night of the Soul' is a very real phenomena, and it can happen out of nowhere -- just a normal meditation session.
I'd suggest giving a search to 'mindfulness' and 'mental distress' or some such, if you continue on with this. It is really helpful to find a framework -- like Buddhism or Raja Yoga (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C4%81ja_yoga#Comparison_with...) -- before diving too deep, to give you something to fall back on when it happens, otherwise it can result in quite unpleasant, hard to overcome and understand situations. Edit to add: The specific framework doesn't matter as much as having one at all (Christianity/Islam/Buddhism/Yoga/etc.).
[1] I just found this article but it seems a decent overview to me: https://ronyabanks.com/the-meditators-dark-night-of-the-soul...
I had an experience along these lines when I was 22 and meditating daily, which ended up turning into anxiety and somewhat frequent panic attacks. I ended up giving up my daily practice for about 10 years because of it. My frame of reference was the very common Theravada practices you encounter in the west, but my experiences didn't make sense to me until I began reading Mahayana teachings and found my way to Vajrayana practice.
So I'd say the framework is important, but to be flexible with it as you encounter things that aren't maybe a part of the core teaching. In my case it was the teachings on emptiness that opened things, which is something the Theravada doesn't emphasize (although it's there).
I think what I wanted to emphasise is having nothing at all can leave you in a bad position. Hitting these dreary spiritual states without any philosophic or religious framework that can provide perspective is like being lost out in the sea without even a life preserver, much less a boat.
> hackingthelema
Love the user name. Would also love if you read my top-level comment on this thread.
[] https://www.vice.com/en/article/vbaedd/meditation-is-a-power...
Michael mentioned that some people can achieve it right away with a single meditation and others take years. Sounds like you are in the former category. Unfortunately I'm in the latter.
[1] https://deconstructingyourself.com/nondual-awareness-meditat...
[2] https://www.amazon.com/Nonduality-Buddhism-David-R-Loy/dp/16...
It's been about 3 years and counting since I've had such experience and since then every morning I'm trying to balance my mind like an audio equalizer :)
A good construct I found along the way was to substitute envy with competition, pride with work, greed with giving, attachment/indifference with love. Neither of them too much that it'll consume me nor too little to keep me empty. If none of this works then find something else like a child. Anger is a beast of its own that I someday I intend to figure out.
Cheers and Happy new year everybody
In this style, douglas Hardings Headless Path, you're attempting to realize that in some sense, "you" are not in your head. That's where we "feel" like we're centered, mostly because our eyes, ears, nose, and mouth are there. But even in reality, we can look for evidence of our head and find we don't have one. All we see is a dark void behind our nose. And behind that, we can feel what, our headache or sinuses, or the back of our head. But how are these "behind" our eyes? Aren't they just in a big cloud of sensation, too? And if we open our eyes, and let our gaze stretch and expand very widely, we might literally become absorbed into our surroundings, we'll feel like the world, not just a head.
Really amazing feelings. I encourage folks try insight, mindfulness, and headless path meditation.
Anyway I guess the only relevant thing I want to share is that there are at least 2 paths to build for ourselves a consistent, integral worldview (one where meaning can be found, as meaning can only be found where there is structure): Propositional to Participative, or Participative to Propositional. That is, satisfy the brain, and open up the space to the transcendental, or go all the way into direct experience and then let the brain catch up. BK is path #1, Spira is path #2, and they have been very helpful to me.
Then I heard Jordan Peterson, I think, pointing out that all emotions are useful. They are there because they have an evolutive advantage. For example the feeling of winning makes you play more, and losing makes you step back at some point and observe what happened (you cannot take it out of your head easily).
For those that want the same experience without meditating :)