It's perceived to be significantly more difficult to approach strangers in the real world, and successful relationships seem to fix people into whatever patterns initiated it.
Successfully developing the ability to approach strangers in real life is more potent than anything online - it can be unhealthy, as with pickup artists, or joining evangelistic cults, mlm, and so on, but socialization at that level seems to be a common trait among highly interesting people.
My interpretation of this phenomenon is that significant (but subconscious) physical and social constraints are not removed from strangers who meet in person. There is risk and danger, there is wealth, language and vocalic register, and there is sexual politics. Humans evolved with these sociological pressures and most humans understand and conform to them.
But on the InterWobbles, people can be very wrong, flagrantly ignorant and completely inhumane without the probable damage to reputation (real-world personal cost).
Until their identities are leaked, of course... Then they realise the reputational cost of being wrong-headed, flagrantly ignorant, and inhumane. And they seek forgiveness ("escape from personal cost").
The InterWobbles have released the bottled demon and given us the 21st century's InterWobble Edition of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.[1]
[1] https://www.gutenberg.org/files/24518/24518-h/24518-h.htm
It tells me if I should reply carefully and nicely because someone is just having a bad day or don't know the language - or if I should just drop the reply and flag instead.
And of course pure anonymity makes it possible to be an asshole without having to suffer the consequences.
Like someone else previously said, we need to invent a way to kick somebody's ass over the internet. Then we'll enjoy real time worldwide pleasant anonymity and thoughtful discussion.
It is absolutely amazing to go into a conversation as the person you want to be and gain what you want from it.
In the best case scenario, you are able to realize new aspects about yourself.
In the worst case scenario, you are able to express your thoughts with no repercussions, ala Fight Club's "single-serving friends".
Also I believe holidays filled that role for kids. A new space of growth.
> The same is true in deeply personal matters such as affairs of the heart, and confessions of moral confusion and even complicity in crimes.
what came to my mind is the conversation I had with someone who confessed they would rather tell their secrets to Amazon than their neighbor, because Amazon is more distant. What I didn't consider then is that distance is a proxy for strangeness in humans, and that's why such inversion may feel natural. We indeed know very little about the people in Amazon, but where it fails today is that megacorps and their constituents know (or can know) a lot more about us than the neighbour.
For anyone really, but especially as you come out of school and start making your way in the world that’s just such a powerful thing.
Thank you for reminding me of those nights, it really was a pleasant bit of nostalgia.
You can say whatever you say knowing you can't be judged by or held to some constraint from the past.
If your views on euthanasia are changing, because you suddenly have a close elderly relative or an associate whose circumstances are changing, a stranger won't berate you for having attended church for most of your life, even though you advocated the church's ideals which included no support for euthanasia. You can just talk about that subject in the context of your current circumstances, needs, and beliefs.
That's liberating and likely to be informative.
If you want to try out or finesse a different political point of view, such as that capital gains should be taxed more or less, or the death penalty is immoral, or social security should be limited to people who have worked and paid taxes for a minimum of 7 years, you can try that with a stranger and just listen to what they say, without having to assure them that you are from a friendly tribe or that you have an open mind, because they won't know your income or your status or your voting record.
When you speak points of view in an anonymous guise, or at least, one that isn't tethered to any prior baggage, you gain an opportunity to refresh your understanding in ways that you normally don't get from people who have such well developed expectations about you that they can't really hear what you are saying.
The same is true in deeply personal matters such as affairs of the heart, and confessions of moral confusion and even complicity in crimes. For many people, it's not until they hear someone's completely independent echo of a picture they've painted of themself that they begin to see themselves in a different light.
The great thing about this process is it isn't limited to one stranger, in the same way that your conversations with your bff is limited to only your bff.
Strangers are everywhere, and once you know how to strike up a meaningful conversation with them, you can do it again and again.
If you've never had this kind of conversation with a stranger, how can you be sure you know who you are?