IMO, this is way too extreme for almost everybody. There needs to be some sort of happy medium so that a person who's lost everything they own (e.g., house fire) can get their account back somehow still. Two ideas I had:
1. When you set up your account, provide your legal name, date of birth, and a photo. If you need to reset 2FA, go somewhere in person with a government-issued photo ID (which we already have procedures to replace) that all of the details of match.
2. When you set up your account, provide 5 trusted contacts. If you need to reset 2FA, get 3 of them to agree.
Very few people are going to want to pay for this labor if the perception of risk of using a free account is as low as it is now.
Simply offering the option would bring the risk to the forefront of people's minds, and once you start exchanging money, lots of other thoughts and liabilities begin to enter.
If it is kept free, then the conversation ends there.
If you ever need to have this done, you'll realise how much house keys and door locks for many cases really only stop the opportunistic "pull the handle and see if it opens" attack. If your door has above average security they'll need to drill the lock, but the time I had to call one they could just push a tool through the letter box and break/move the bolt by applying leverage from the "indoor" side.
Same with 2FA. Just like a Locksmith it's a "human in the loop" situation where you'll need to give identification etc.
The rest of your post isn't relevant it's just about picking door locks.
I would bet that the post office employees are a bit less susceptible to the “hurry up and hit your metrics” pressure than someone at the Verizon call center.
I trust that it would be (potentially much) harder than normal, but it still seems to be possible.
I can think of options less extreme than keys gone = account gone that are still very secure.
e.g. To enable "Extra Advanced Protection" you have to visit Google HQ in your region, where your DNA is sampled. If you ever need to recover your account, you have to visit Google HQ again for another DNA sample, after which you're provided with account access, in person.
and who's gonna pay for that? Seems pricey and doesn't scale exactly well.
https://landing.google.com/advancedprotection/