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Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by snet0 on Saturday June 26, 2021 @12:47PM (#27643451)
I came to this thread earlier and thought I'd taken crazy pills, so I'd check back later. Not a single non-positive comment.

People who use this or think this is a good thing have fundamentally misunderstood social interaction. Your girlfriend doesn't want the signal that you care, she wants you to actually care, and keeping in contact is an expression of caring. If you need to forge something this foundational, I'm sorry but that's not being introverted, that's treating social interaction as a game or trade. I feel like it's bordering on psychopathy.

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by fastball on Saturday June 26, 2021 @01:10PM (#27643682)
I think the part you're missing is that this is supposed to be followed up by actual conversations and interactions.

There are a great many friends where Life Happens™ and although I genuinely care about them, I haven't contacted them in months / years (and vice versa) because I'm not generally the type to initiate small-talk. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy catching up with friends and going over the little things in our lives, it's just not something I naturally do. Having an app that helps you keep in touch with the people you care about (if you don't care why would you bother to set up an app) seems helpful.

And I think stating that this is not introversion but more like psychopathy is a bit beyond the pale. It can be hard for introverts to kickstart conversations with people they haven't talked to in a while for various reasons, none of which are "because they're a sociopath". They might feel like they're intruding or they might have confidence issues which cause them to feel that messaging people out of the blue will make them seem weird, even if neither of those things are actually true from the other person's perspective.

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by TeeTwoLee on Sunday June 27, 2021 @02:10AM (#27649030)
I agree. Most people are happy when I reach out to them, but I have what feels like an irrational feeling that people don't want me to reach out. I don't particularly care about the pre-made messages in the app, but making reaching out to people an obligation by using reminders means I make time for friends.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by tssva on Saturday June 26, 2021 @03:22PM (#27644966)
It may not be because they are being a sociopath but it also isn't just because of being an introvert. What you are describing is social anxiety which some introverts have and others do not.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by fastball on Saturday June 26, 2021 @04:20PM (#27645472)
Nobody said all introverts ("can be hard"). I think you'd classify anyone with social anxiety as an introvert. Therefore this is a problem that introverts have.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by imiric on Sunday June 27, 2021 @01:12AM (#27648792)
That's incorrect. Extroverts can also be shy and be affected by social anxiety. Having those conflicting traits together is often more frustrating than for introverts.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by alisonkisk on Saturday June 26, 2021 @06:15PM (#27646434)
Words have meanings, and that's not what introvert means.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by fastball on Saturday June 26, 2021 @06:25PM (#27646519)
> Introvert: a shy, reticent person.

What person with social anxiety does that not apply to?

No idea why the two of you are quibbling over the use of the word introvert here.

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by TristanBall on Saturday June 26, 2021 @09:45PM (#27647780)
People with social anxiety often come accross as introverted, because they are anxious about interacting - however that doesn't mean they don't want to interact, the desire might be extremely strong, exacerbated be the perceived difficulty in doing so. Compare an introvert who is not socially anxious, who simple has a lower desire to interact. Likewise, some socially anxious people cope by being more extroverted, louder, more interactive. So.. there is a difference in the internal experience, and the external presentation.. and i think when we're talking about a person, rather than their current actions, we normally mean the former but are mislead by the latter.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by tssva on Sunday June 27, 2021 @02:19AM (#27649088)
Introverts don't even necessarily have a lower desire to interact. Many introverts very much desire to interact and do frequently interact with others. They just do so in a different manner than extroverts. Usually more one on one and often for a shorter duration than extroverts.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by ElFitz on Saturday June 26, 2021 @08:26PM (#27647310)
The popular and psychological definition are quite different from one another.

To go even further, there are multiple definitions to the word in psychology, depending on what sources you rely upon (ie Jung’s, the "Big Five"’s, and probably others)

So, yes, there is a lot of room for miscommunication

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by spicybright on Saturday June 26, 2021 @05:48PM (#27646220)
This app won't last long enough to remind you to message year old dormant relationships, so if that's important one should find something else.

I also don't see how an automated message helps you keep in touch though. It seems like people with a lot of this anxiety will just fiddle with the settings exactly like they fiddle typing out drafts they never send.

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by grayfaced on Saturday June 26, 2021 @01:08PM (#27643660)
I mostly agree. When I'm focused on something, I tend to isolate myself. I forget to contact people. I care but I'm just distracted.

I would prefer reminders of "You haven't called your Mom in X days". Set configurable threshholds of how often you want to contact different people but still require you to actually do it.

Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by binkHN on Saturday June 26, 2021 @01:37PM (#27643994)
For what it’s worth, the app, by default, will not take any action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly recommend this type of use.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by snet0 on Saturday June 26, 2021 @01:17PM (#27643775)
This is a symptom of caring too much about what you're focused on, though. While I appreciate that sometimes it's easy to forget important things, I think if you need inorganic means to remember to call your mother, you need to take a moment to actually consider that, rather than looking for the nearest software "solution".
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by fastball on Saturday June 26, 2021 @04:32PM (#27645559)
Not everyone's brain works in the same way as yours, that doesn't make them a sociopath.
Re:Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain ... by wruza on Saturday June 26, 2021 @08:49PM (#27647465)
It’s the same level of psychopathy which demands your “genuine care and interest” in a society where the worst everyday risk is spilling coffee on your desk. Many childish psychopaths (who often call themselves extroverts) simply like you to do these things, they feel great when you put aside everything and message or reply to them on a nonsensical topic like “where you at” or “what you’re doing”. Most people who I attribute to “normal”, and I mean most people in general, never required it.

No offense to anyone, but if you’re vocal and succesful at consuming lots of attention, it doesn’t automagically mean that your behavior is healthy.