>> 2. I abhor having drinks with people who have any kind of hierarchical power upon me.

Funny thing is the opposite isn't great either. I've seen a startup that likes doing this. Except all the decision-makers are in SF, not at the field office. So HH at the field office means none of the participants have any real power to see your passion, hear your ideas, or conversely for you to learn from their wisdom. It is still bonding for the team, but the team site is all terminal dead-end jobs.

> Except all the decision-makers are in SF, not at the field office. So HH at the field office means none of the participants have any real power to see your passion, hear your ideas, or conversely for you to learn from their wisdom.

My experience has been that the opportunity to actually learn from people’s wisdom has little to do with their heirarchical position, though the opportunity to suck up by making a show of “learning from their wisdom” might.

who hurt you? obviously don't get too drunk with coworkers, but do you know there is a way to have a drink or two and not turn it into a fraternity event

And there is a way not to drink at all, it is called saying "NO!".

What makes you think I want to even have one drink of alcohol?

There are people in this world who say "Don't trust a guy (or gal) who won't have a beer with you."

And those are the people I do not trust.

You don't have to go to the pub. You can just say something like, "I better go home now and get ahead of the traffic, have a good time!" then proceed to find a new job if they actually give you flak from that.