> That adds anxiety, as if I am missing out on other things while I read.

I'd wager this right there is the problem.

Sounds like you're reading through books like they are a chore. Instead, find one book with a subject/theme that interests you (so the subject itself is not boring) and then try to relax and read slowly.

If it's fiction, savor every word and phrase, try to visualise the description/emotion/action. If it's non-fiction, think through what what you just read means, why is that's so (it's okay to not have answers, questions are important).

I know "try to relax" is unhelpful. But one approach I'd try is to carve out a block of time (say, 1hr), put your phone/devices on Do Not Disturb, set an alarm for one hour (so you don't think too much time's slipping away) and just read.

It's purely anecdotal, but both me and a couple of friends commented on how consuming short content (eg. youtube videos, short blog posts) led to "attention atrophy". If the content doesn't "get to the point" immediately, we get anxious and bored.

If this describes you as well, try consuming less short-form and more long-form content (longer videos, longer in-depth articles, etc).

> "attention atrophy"

That is probably true. Now if something is longer than 5 minutes I don't watch it end to end, but keep skipping "to the point". When I listen to lectures, I am always listening at fastest speed possible and also skip. I tried meditation as well, but I have this feeling of doom crawling around my thoughts when I meditate. Like I am sitting here meditating, and worry that work is not being done. I need to get to the bottom of this.

This sounds a lot like ADHD, especially in terms of the focus on getting 'to the point' (which can be maladaptive if it results in routinely skipping over the 'filler', which is very often crucial to developing deep understanding).

I need to read more about this. I thought you can't develop ADHD in adulthood. I suffer from chronic pain and when the symptoms were worse I had to constantly do something to take my attention away from pain. Now I am getting quite good medication so I don't have to do that often. But I was definitely able to watch even very long lectures and I read many books when I was younger without problem. Brain is such a fascinating device :-)

Ive come to enjoy audiobooks as an alternative for the same reasons. Somehow just listening instead of reading makes the same texts feel a lot more enjoyable to me.

The great thing about audiobooks is that you can do physical things at the same time (gardening, running, cooking, gym, etc). Using audiobooks has increased by book consumption by about 5x.

I'm skeptical of the retention of information when it comes to audio books because of this very reason. Do you find you have the same sort of recall when it comes to dicsussing what you've read with audio books?

It's different. I think if you are interested in the subject, then you retain it. Also because you can do other things at the same time, you can listen to say three different books on one subject rather than read one book on that subject - that way you get differing viewpoints, which also aid retention.

When I first started listening to audiobooks I did find that my mind would wander, but I've discovered that if I play the audiobooks at a slightly faster speed, I have to pay attention more and so my mind doesn't wander so easily.

That has been my problem with both podcasts and audiobooks. I can't multitask and have the content be much more than white noise.

The first audiobooks I tried listening to were books I had already read myself. Just to see how it would be if someone else narrated them. Despite having a feel for what the story was already. I'd lose track of it constantly. Akin to reading the same line over and over when tired. Which is arguably harder to rewind in audio form than in text.

Watching shortish videos on youtube or some livestream is fine for background noise. But to retain much from what was originally a 300 page novel or whatever. Having large parts of just be remembered as static feels really bad.

I usually do chores while I do audiobooks. I am very imaginative and get so immersed that I feel like I’ve been watching a movie.

Personally I like either fiction books or historical/biographies-kind. Books that try to teach me something often do feel like a chore. (e.g.: i'm trying to read GEB after all the recommendations, but I just can't get into it)

Ya, I've hit moments like that. For me, I look for a purely fun book that is just about escaping and enjoying a story. No pressure to learn or to think just escape. That is usually fantasy or a good space science fiction book.

The name of the wind by Patrick Rothfuss is a good start to get hooked on fantasy stories.

I love that one :), any other suggestions for me?

> but now I can't do that as I found that most books follow the same patterns and it is all the same.

Most self-help books do; not most books. I’m using that term in a broad sense to encompass books which explore one major “life-changing”/“perspective-shifting” idea, like any by Cal Newport or Simon Sinek.

Those books have little substance. They’re pamphlets padded by examples supporting the one thesis. Find an online talk by the author and you’ll get 90% of the juice without spending a penny and by a fraction of the time investment of the book.

I don't know if this helps, but I had a similar problem getting through even one page in a good book. My mind would wander somewhere else mid page and when I realized it, I'd feel silly and have to rewind and rebuild context to continue reading. Usually felt a little ashamed to reread part of the page I had scanned the words of but didn't actually read with my thinking brain.

Eventually what I realized was that these books were actually stimulating my thoughts at a higher frequency than the author intended. This is only really a bad thing if you need to get through the book under a certain deadline. Stimulating new thoughts is precisely why I read books in the first place!

These days, when some sentence sends me on a mental rabbit trail and then consciously pause and follow it as far as I like before returning to the text. Overall this is a much more satisfying reading experience for me.

For me, the most enjoyable part of reading is adding my own thoughts to the experience. It might be vivid imagery as part of reading a sci-fi, or musings on life and truth in a non-fiction. If you frame reading as achieving a predefined goal ("learn topic X"), it's easy to forget this part and become obsessed on speed, with the focus on "consumption" instead of "co-creation". Try setting aside 2 hours where you can either be bored or read. I typically start by relaxing. Sometimes I just relax the entire two hours and dont read at all. When I feel I'm ready, I start reading. Use a watch that measures heart rate variability if you need some extra bio-feedback to get that tension out of your body. When relaxed, your mind will do the rest.

This reminds me of how Roland Barthes would categorize prose as either "readerly" or "writerly", whereas a readerly work is a straightforward and passive experience for the reader, a writerly work is a sort of framework for the reader to participate in the writing, and co-create as you put it.

Recognizing that a work is writerly isn't always obvious. It's often obscured by the fact that reading it can be so stimulating and enjoyable.

I feel more or less the same way. But forcing myself to stick to one or two books at a time helped me. Eventually you will catch the fun in it. I also find audiobooks to be my favorite format for consuming books, as I can do it at any place and listen at my desired speed.

I read physical and ebooks a lot but I also listen to an Audiobook on my walk each day, I'd recommend trying it out if you feel the to read something. The only value I found in summary services is using them to decide if I'll read the full book. I feel the missing context and stories don't anchor the summaries as well in my mind as when I read a full book, the experience is almost devoid of the joy of reading and feels like an exercise in trivia assimilation.

> What to do?

Buy a dumbphone, strictly restrict access to the internet via computer. Wait a year to regrow your abilities.

Sorry to sound like your dad.