But sex also leads to children, children leads to less sleep, less sleep leads to shorter life.

Nope, having children later increases life expectancy. People have theories about why but it’s not been proved IMO. I’ll try to find the paper later...

Source?

https://time.com/4574770/older-moms-may-live-longer/ For example...

It is the other way around, healthy men with increased life span are more likely to have a children.

Sick short malnourished male is less likely to find partner, let alone have a children.

Study also excludes divorced men who technically have children, but do not live with them. Divorce decreases life expectancy severely.

I'd think its more about lifestyle choices. Easier to ride motorcycles and jump out of planes if you're not changing diapers.

Yeah, exactly this.

We should really stop using the word "increases" to describe a correlation and use "goes hand in hand with" or something like that. Same for your usage of "decreases". ;)

Yes I guess also the richer you are the more likely you are to live longer and delay kids. Maybe it’s just correlated.

Respectfully, you seem to be confusing correlation with causation. A very common mistake.

I don't believe that drowning deaths are caused by ice cream sales either, but I can easily prepare the data in a way that makes that appear like a solid assertion.

Edit: I am intrigued by the downvotes. Perhaps I am wrong and ice cream sales actually do cause drowning deaths.

You can just, uh, use a condom, no?

I mean, you can... But you can't get another man pregnant, so there's really no point (at least in terms of fertility).

You could but for some people the fun is thereby reduced to zero.

I once heard something about listening to an orchestra with earplugs on.

Even though people tend to focus on rock and metal concerts, it's totally possible to get permanent hearing damage from an orchestra. They can be pricey, but a set of custom earplugs can save your hearing while maintaining a consistent volume reduction across all frequencies.

Who would have thought children and tinnitus had so many things in common.

They also both tend to make high-pitched noises, on that note.