> You could self host your own email

You can. I might be able to (there’s a lot of crap around spam filtering and SPF that I’d have to fight with).

My mother, father, sister, cousins, nieces and nephews? Not a chance in hell.

The only people who recommend self-hosting email are ones that haven't tried it.

We have an admin who spends a good 40% of his workweek doing just our email servers. They are a massive PITA.

I have self-hosted E-mail for myself and my family for years, probably close to a decade now--I lost count. It's a learning curve at first but once it's dialed in and working, there's really nothing to touch. Occasionally, like once every two years or so, I find my spam filter process crashed and failed to relaunch or something, causing delivery delays.

"...but once it's dialed in and working, there's really nothing to touch"

...until your upstream changes something.

Or an opaque third party (i.e. a spam list) puts you on their lists.

No, also people who host themselves and enjoy the hobby time and don't understand how the general public lives.

I'm one of those people, generally, but even I'm not signing up to host an email server. Screw that.

That is a very, very limited scope for Google/Facebook. Almost to the point of me suspecting you are strawmanning it. In fact, google/facebook is so endemic to our infrastructure that you can literally delete you google account. Get it scrubbed from the internet, they will still track you. Identify you. And show you ads. If you try to block their services, some pages stop functioning. It is on the verge of impossible to escape them

OK, you can lead your "resistance" to big tech your way.

Meanwhile, I'll be pushing my representative for regulatory action.