I don’t think it’s fair to characterize it as “women punting the ball back” so much as it’s just not usually worth the effort for a lot of people — no matter their gender — to think of something more original to say.
I don’t know why people complain about it though. It seems like the perfect way to really stand out in the crowd. Everyone wants to be recognized as a unique individual and when your inbox is full of “hey” all the way down then a message from someone who took the time to get to know you a bit is definitely going to be opened and replied to more often.
And every conversation starts with a hello. Sure, if it gets boring after then it's a diff issue
Bots are generally easy to spot. Coming up with something at least semi-relevant the person’s profile is not much harder than a “hey” for the type of person who shows enough personality on their profile to be interesting in the first place.
Your success rate will easily shoot up 5x from the baseline of “hey” by saying something even remotely interesting.
If your goal is dating to establish a healthy romantic relationship then number of matches isn't what you want to optimize:
Accept who you are, how you think and feel. No need to hide the real you. No need to please the masses. You can find people who will appreciate you the way you are. And I can't emphasize this enough: *Respect the other person* - everyone is equally looking for (and entitled to find) what is right for them.
With experience it gets easier to quickly identify people who think and feel like you, who share similar values and lifestyle.
IMO no one likes writing dating app bios and no one likes reading them. People are gonna match based on looks anyway. You’ll learn about someone on the date, not by reading some painstakingly crafted autobiography
This is an overly optimistic take that I cannot confirm.
The first messages received on Bumble are either "hey/hi" or a GIF that is typically a waving bear with the word "hello". That is despite profile text and images with dozens of things that could spark a conversation or question. In fact, most people never read my thoughtfully crafted profile - there certainly is no investment in getting to know me. Instead my reply is expected to be creative/funny or the conversation will end, essentially making this conversation no different from Tinder. In my experience the typical Bumble user in major metro areas wants to date, but not with long term in mind. If that isn't important to you, fair enough. As an aside, I also find that Bumble has less diversity than other apps - racially, socioeconomically etc
Given Tinder and Bumble I vastly preferred Tinder. Tinder has far more users of every kind of background with every imaginable kind of intention. The key is to be intentional in your profile or your first messages about what you are looking for and move on if it is a mismatch. I know how to identify a Tinder profile that is a good mutual match for me, but I definitely will get tendonitis from swiping left in the process of locating such a profile. If you save your free daily super like for that person and assuming you are introspective enough to accurately assess whether this person will be interested in you you have a high chance of being seen and matching.
If you would like to date seriously without it feeling forced or desperate I highly recommend Coffee Meets Bagel (if you are in an area where this app is being used). It never takes me long to find someone wonderful there that makes me want to quit all apps.
In my experience, no matter what you are looking for, Bumble isn't your best choice for any of those things.