From what I see/hear/experience, every kid is different.

As some stranger on the internet said:

"After I had my first kid, I thought I was God's gift to parenting. A few years later I had a second kid and he cured me of such misconceived notions." :-D

This reminds me of Thanksgiving at my brother's house. He has 3 teenage sons, and they were all super helpful while we were there.

My wife asked him how he raised such helpful kids and he said: bribery. If they behaved well and helped with things they would be getting a video game of their choice.

My wife wouldn't entertain the idea. Then the pediatrician pointed out that children screaming in their cribs have a much better survival rate than kids whose parents fall asleep at the wheel because they haven't slept in a week.

That night it took my daughter less than 15 minutes to stop screaming, and then everyone in the house slept for 6 hours straight.

In less than a week she was smiling when we put her down for the night.

I hope it works out that well for you.

Don't know. Thought the same, but my wife said one thing that stuck with me: "Life's short. They'll leave on their own anyway and then you'll miss this".

I gave in and still put our 4 and 6 year olds to sleep in our big family bed, then teleport them later. After being a bit annoyed in the beginning, I've changed my mind by now. Bringing them to bed is honestly the best thing ever.

Whether it is abusive 100% depends on how your kids reacts. Some will stop crying and with cry hard anyway. Others will cry for over 2 hours super strong (and then friend who had such kid decided this wont be done again).

Babies are not copies, they react in various ways.

Every baby is different and every parent is different. Sleep training worked well for my family but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for yours.