I know I shouldn't, but I'm secretly a little envious of people who are starting from scratch with absolute freedom. I kind of have it all, except for total freedom. I really have nothing to complain about and my life is great.
Still, there was this time when I had nothing but a bicycle with four panniers of things for several months, wasn't sure where I'd sleep next, had to withstand cold and rain, and it was easily the singular best experience of my life. I'm not in a situation to repeat that now. Also I fear I wouldn't have the right mindset to repeat that - I've become lazy and complacent.
grappling with this myself these days. I would happily
choose music over food years back. but once i started making code money, i got so comfortable. built up a whole world and « lifestyle » that now I (feel like I) have to maintain. and it feels like that’s how life continues to go as you accumulate a partner, pet, kids... you keep building up this house of cards that gets harder and harder to prevent from it all falling down. i dunno, sometimes I just wanna stop and run in the other direction because it feels like i’m doing it all wrong despite these being « markers of success ».
Everybody hurts from time to time, hardships are part of life.
In situations like this it's important to focus on things you can control instead of being sad about things you can't control.
You might consider that now you life is again a blank canvas, and you can rebuild it. Everything's in discussion again, you're not encumbered by a relationship, the possibilities are endless!
Your destiny looked like set in stone, and now it's yours again for designing and implementing :)
Good luck!