Maybe you can have a conversation with them to reset expectations? Part of this process should communicate to them what your expectations are and then, if they meet those expectations you should try not to judge their lifestyles.
Would you care if they slept until noon if they were otherwise productive?
The fact that there are nebulous unspoken "rules" is a likely source of tension.
Apologies for the judgment in my last comment, clearly I do not know your family and am just projecting my own familial dysfunction. To put it bluntly, your comment hit a nerve but my response was uncalled for.
Younger generations 40 and below have a tendency to believe that regardless of what they are doing no one can have a negative opinion on what they do, otherwise the other party is to be blamed and shamed. There is little to no self accountability.
What I would want older generations to understand is that modern lifestyle is more and more of an attention trap that expresses itself both mentally and physically.
Sympathy is good, empathy is better.
I'm sure it doesn't feel great for them to be dependent on you and face your scorn on a daily basis. I just hope the situation will never be reversed, for your sake.