> The facade people put up is good. You don't want to know what's behind that; you didn't pick these people, you're not marrying these people, you're working with them on a temporary basis then moving on.

This strikes me as a touch too misanthropic.

I went to school on a temporary basis with a whole load of people, who just happened to be my age. It was the same at university - people who happened to pick the same courses as I did. I never chose any of these people, yet I'm lucky enough to have made some wonderful friends, and I think that if I never took the risk to get to know anyone properly (not much risk, IMO - most people aren't putting up a facade that hides some horrible reality, at least not in my experience) my life would be much poorer.

Maybe give your colleagues another chance?

School is a different domain. It's more similar to the case of entrepreneurs getting drunk together to make sure they can trust each other. As a young person in school, the subject of your interactions with your peers is friendship and relationship itself. You are making a conscious investment of your time, you are putting something at stake, and therefore knowing if that person is hiding a different side of themselves is relevant.

Making friends is good. This isn't about not making friends. This is about how to keep your job. Your boss gives you a job but your coworkers can take it away. Don't listen to advice that is meant for high level businessmen when you're not one. Don't mix worlds, don't find opportunities to create enemies, don't try to turn your workplace into your social life.

I’m extremely lucky not to have you as a coworker. I encourage you to realize that other people are real, with minds and emotions much like your own.

> don’t try to turn your workplace into your social life

I think this advice is too absolute. So many people, in my experience, make positive and long-lasting friendships at work that I just can’t see your advice as being generally good. If anything, in some work cultures I think this kind of aloofness could be very negative - you could end up an outsider: unprotected, uninformed, and alone. I think you could also struggle to build the kinds of networks that can get you into the next job, or open doors in the future.

At the end of the day it’s obviously a personal choice about how you want to treat your work life. YMMV, etc...

Meh, if you have the opportunity to choose who you drink with I'd beg to differ. I've had many an enlightening discussion around how to deal with management, or some new angle to tackle a problem, or bringing to light a previously unknown opportunity, or a meta-discussion around how to deal with life itself and not just the job. I've also made some great friends along the way.

Now forced events with peers of varying closeness I'd be more likely to agree with you.

I don’t care what kind of job you’re in. It matters whether or not people think of you as someone who’s easy to get along with.

It absolutely does. We're social beings, after all. I used to be very antisocial, but once I learned how to actually talk to people, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted. You spend most of your time with the people you work with. If you can’t get along with them your life is going to be bad.

> you didn't pick these people, you're not marrying these people, you're working with them on a temporary basis then moving on

To be perfectly honest you're reinforcing the practise rather than arguing against it like you think. The whole point of everyone getting drunk together is to get to know the "real you". It sounds like the "real you" is quite mercenary, bitter, and reductive. No wonder you don't want to let down your carefully-crafted facade.

Arguably, building trust and social relationships with coworkers can create opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have. Networking is the common word for it. The more people out there in the world, and especially within your industry, who are thinking of you, the more often you'll get a message from someone you trust about some new job opportunity they just came across and thought might be a good fit for you. Those tend to be better opportunities than the ones that get publicly broadcasted, and they don't tend to get offered to people who seem standoffish.

And I'm speaking as a standoffish person who seldom to never gets those offers, but my wife often skips the need to job hunt because perfect jobs just fall into her lap from all the connections she's made.

The older you get, the more you understand this.

Sounds like you've been hurt before. Care to tell the story?

"Yes"