This means my advice might not apply to you, but if I may still recommend one thing: ignore most of the news for a while. The sensationalism can get infectious. There won't be anything deserving of the name war in your country (the US, I assume).
I think previously, I was just way too wrapped up in the news cycles.
News is the biggest drag on my mental well being. It is important to be informed, but I genuinely feel that media is so driven by ad revenue and has optimized itself into being as negative and outrageous and _loud_ as possible, to the detriment of sane balanced information and opinion. I need to know the sides of current issues, but not loudly 24x7 with as much vitriol on all sides. I blocked several news sites and social media I habitually check in my hosts file, but somehow my browser still resolves the names. I need to fix that.
HackerNews is really one of the few sites I can expect to find calm reasoned discussion and information.
DNS over HTTPS maybe ?
For example:
127.0.0.1 reddit.com
127.0.0.1 www.reddit.com
On the other hand, I can spend hours sucked into random tech books, blogs, etc. So I guess time wise it balances out.
CNN will show relentlessly negative headlines until the election is over. Fox will be overly positive. There are other sources on both sides.
For your mental health-- get a variety. You don't have to agree with all of it, but get diverse inputs.
But, I see anxiety and depression around me and I'm talking about people that didn't had a bad economic or job impact. It's just uncertainty and insecurity that breaks people. I try to support them.
Try to be creative with your time. Take it easier and have fun with your family. Don't stick to social media because it fills your day with negative content and disappointment. And don't waste your time with Youtube and Netflix because deep down you will feel pointless if you do that. And speak up and share your pain with others.
Also remember this is not the end of world. It only has been a few months and the amount of uncertainty, pain, and insecurity that you feel right now is million times less than what people have to deal for many years in some countries with civil war, sanctions, dictatorships. And they are holding up. So don't suddenly feel that you living in the worst time ever. We have everything needed to overcome this.
It's obviously different for different people and it's easy to give advice. I also know people that lost someone which makes it much harder. Don't stay alone and find something that motivates you.
This change made introverts more comfortable, because all the other distractions are gone. I feel the same way like you do, I have more time and I was able to improve my daily life.
I can generally prefer personal time and a quiet place to mull my thoughts, but at the same time miss the spontaneous discussion and emotional attachment that an office provides.
This has been the number 1 thing that I've started doing recently that has improved my mental health. I've been incredibly depressed and anxious this year, and realized how much of that has been tied to the news cycle. I've mostly ignored the news for about a week now, and I'm feeling much better. I still have an underlying current of anxiety that I need to deal with, but overall I'm feeling better.
Rather than reading the news constantly, I ended up subscribing to the print edition of The Economist, so I'll read that once a week rather than constantly flipping over to Google News every hour.
I can't imagine anyone in my situation of being cut off from almost all human contact (young+single+alone) for 4 months being "better than ever".
That is me and I feel better than ever.
Then recently I traveled and stayed with my GF for three weeks, and now she is here for two weeks, and I’m more tired than ever.
After this my parents will want me to visit, but I will be taking some time to myself in between and have asked my girlfriend to go home a week early.
I want to get back into my nice routine of waking up and making coffee and breakfast and working out, and reading before bed, and working on personal projects after work.
I fear, as much as I like her that she may be far less independent than I am. And it’s a bit troubling. But for now I am just looking forward to being on my own again for a while.
I do miss the office though, I had a nice ten minute walking commute although am happy to be less distracted at work.
It’s all ups and downs really.
I hope GP and everyone else adversely affected by this comes out strong on the other side and is able to receive the help they need or overcome the challenges they face. We’ve all got them, but it’s just different magnitudes on different dimensions of an incredibly complex space.
And spilling my coffee twice would give me a conniption! It’s locally roasted organic gosh darn it!
India :(
(though I stay in the US)
We just had a minor skirmish with China with around 60 deaths total. The messaging from China is very similar to the run-up to the 1962 war.
The situation right now is being described as 'tense but calm'.
China changed all of the nation's maps to now include an added claim on a new piece of land in Ladakh. China also works very closely with their new proxy Govt (Oli's Nepal). So, at the same time Nepal is also changing their maps and laying claim on new land that they did not previously stake claim to.
So now technically India is occupying Chinese property, and they China been clear in wanting to use force to claim it.
I think this will resonate with a significant subset of the HN crowd. I really thrive on externally-enforced structure (didn't take long to discover I made a terrible entrepreneur, but found a good niche as a startup employee). I've set my life up around having different events and places I need to be: classes at my gym, took up some in-person Spanish lessons, etc. When all those avenues shut down, I found it incredibly difficult to motivate myself to do anything. My physical health has deteriorated as I get much less exercise now, and that has sort of spiraled with my mental well-being. It's been rough.
Yes ! This was exactly it.
The 2nd half of 2019 was some of the best time of my life because of this.
It's been quite jarring to see how instantly my mental health deteriorated the second the lock down started.
How did you find that out? Really interested whether I fall in the same group. I feel like I agree with you; I haven't been exercising as much because I can't go to a studio/gym to exercise, and the deterioration of both physical health and mental well-being is very apparent now.
To be honest, I know everyone wants to have a "growth mindset", i.e. the belief that if you're not good at something that you can diligently "face your fears" and overcome it, but at least for me I've come to the conclusion that I'm just constitutionally not cut out to be an entrepreneur. I don't know if it's my genes or my early upbringing or what, but I've tried all the motivation/self-direction/anti-procrastination tricks in the book, and it just doesn't work for me. There was definitely a sense of loss when I came to that conclusion, but I've found that I'm able to thrive when I have an environment with more structure.
I do agree on your last point. Part willpower, part understanding what works best for each of us. Accepting that we might not be everything that we want to be is hard, but growth is discovering the paths that we can otherwise take.
I ruined two coffees the other day. Put too much peppermint oil in and screwed it up.
And then I let my coffee friend screw with my grinder/machine settings and it got hosed. ugh.
I really recommend getting a workout buddy and making yourselves accountable. It's helping so far.
That's the plan, but I also in the most stressful time of the year in terms of work. So it is kind of hard to build new habits.
> making yourselves accountable
Been trying this. I talk to my brother every morning, who keeps me accountable.
It helps, but still rough.
> I used to go out social dancing
Climbing and soccer were mine. I feel you there.
> I ruined two coffees the other day. Put too much peppermint oil in and screwed it up.
There is something about ruined coffee that hits a person really hard.
Be strong mate. Like all things, this too will pass.
I think peppermint oil should work. Would be better if I used peppermint simple syrup I think tho. just more surface area.
Iced coffee might not matter if you're doing a lot of milk tho!
Have you tried making your own overnight cold brews yet?
[1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/000486741560313...
https://www.goodrx.com/blog/does-coffee-caffeine-cause-anxie...
I also wish I was scientifically literate enough to understand how good the study is :P
Social/political climates and the "cancel culture" always has something to target. If you look, at any given time, this is something that has been going on since we could communicate in a public sphere. There has always been and always will be a tension in the public conversation. I wouldn't say "cusp of actual war" though. There are many people however who are hoping and actively counting on you thinking that though.
I would argue, however, that all of this has been severely amplified due to social media and the current crisis of the news industries. We have to at least consider who is literally banking on your getting your attention - hijacking the fight-or-flight part of your brain is part of that equation.
Yeah But, India and China are quite seriously considering war right now. No joke.
It's the worst it's been for a while, but there have been pretty major incidents[2] even within the last decade.
It's a serious situation, but not unprecedented.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Line_of_Actual_Control
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013_Daulat_Beg_Oldi_incident
Despite the bravado of 'an eye for an eye' every politician cares about their future. Modi won't start a war with China and China won't with Modi.
China is already on a backfoot about the Corona situation and Modi is on a backfoot about a LOT of things but the media is bailing him out. I don't think war will be a right thing for both the nations.
China then waites until US & Russia were busy in Cuban Missile Crisis.
JFK was still alive 60yrs ago!!
JFK had such close a relations with India that Indian PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee had askes his brother "when will a Kennedy become a President once again".
JFK wanted to help India but he was busy in Cuban Missile Crisis. But after that, UK and US started dropping military supplies. And China ended the war single handedly and went back to the status quo.
Things that have changed:
1. We are a highly interconnected economy 2. China is at a backfoot 3. Modi is at a backfoot. (Note that Nehru was facing no such pressures 60yrs ago about corona, self inflicted short sightedness on Economy etc) 4. Nehru and the Congress at that time was not based on total and pointless bravado. The current regime in India is just busy in bravado. China has encroached since May probably and PM Modi spoke a few weeks ago and then, too, he denied any incursion and that lead to China hailing him 5. Neither India nor China will afford a war, leaders will gain from a skirmish. Chinese subservient media will hail it as a Chinese victory, same as Indian media which is super subservient will hail PM as someone who defeated China.
They won't be able to peddle lies if there is a war, for the war will be entirely up in Ladakh. And Russia and US will intervene because both Trump & Putin will need that tag at home of avoiding a war.
I've found twitter to be both an extremely valuable lockdown coping mechanism with friends and replacement events, and an anxiety amplifier.
Materially I'm fine. I'm still getting paid and spending very little. All my travel plans for the year are cancelled and in unknown limbo and I don't know when I can dare to make plans again.
What does this mean?
I think that free-speech is a central tenet of modern society and the source of future progress. I am strongly anti-tribal. I do not associate with groups, isms or movements. I like to purely talk issues and like to evaluate ideas for their individual merit and not based on who says them.
> pro-equality = altruistic
Pretty self explanatory. Generally socialist leanings borne from wanting to provide equality of opportunity and measurably fair treatment to all.
_______
I support most of BLM's policy goals. I believe there needs to be more awareness about racism. I think holding racists and people in power accountable is important. Police reform, removing qualified immunity, mandated cameras and reforming the criminal justice system.
However, I refuse to align myself to the movement itself. Because an agenda-less and leaderless movement can go in any direction any time. A great example is how the Gamer-gate movement took a strong turn away from 'ethical journalism in gaming' to 'racist hatred of women' within the span of six months. Religion is an excellent example of how tribes demand loyalty.
Many of the top thinkers within the BLM movement see violent protests as an inevitable part and many allies endorse violent revolution. I do not yet know if I agree on those matters. I do not want to sign up for buffet of opinions where I have to mandatorily eat every dish. I prefer to have my opinion a-la-carte.
Each of these issues are important but they have a ton of nuance. To find a good solution, we need free speech. We need people with contrary opinions to be able to challenge the protestors and through the friction there will emerge solution.
But, all groups (including ones of my peers) are increasingly moving towards hiveminds of agreement where the In-Group-Contrarian must be destroyed.
There is a reason it has me so rattled. I have yet to truly sort out my opinions on the whole matter at large.
Plus there is the added stress that if you slip too much you could end up back into a bad job market. The only thing one can do is to find other healthy diversions and keep diet / sleep / exercise on track.
I hope my managers understand and won't judge my performance at this time.
My favorite blog was also shut down this morning by the cancel police (same blog as you). Reach out if you need someone to chat to!
I would love to chat. Maybe sometime this weekend. I really appreciate your willingness to offer support, when you yourself are in such supply of it.
I am happy to say I have a really supportive group around me, so I do get to vent every once in a while. This week is a bit rough, but I should be able to find time to reach out on the weekend.
Being able to confide in a stranger like this is strangely comforting. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
Despite never having met you, one thing about Covid that is absolutely true, is that 'we are in this together'. There is a sense of camaraderie having faced a common challenge.
All the best! Thanks for sharing and keep on keeping on. We’re all there with you.
If it means anything ( I hope it does). It's that democracy take a while and wars in Western democratic countries are only a very small probability.
Because people don't want land anymore, as they wanted in the ( for us) distant past.
They want money and trade/work is the best way to get it.
Edit: It's not worldwide applicable. But be hopeful that the right loyalists are a servere minority.
I wish you the best, from Belgium :)
I am talking about India and China.
I hope everything works out.
Like, in the big picture, that's not important at all. But that send me over the edge into complete frustration. Was pretty unproductive afterwards.
I'm sure everything will turn out fine for you though, hang in there!
Isn't this still speculative at this point? Last I read about it (on Reddit) there was no actual evidence that NYT was cooking up a hit piece.
I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me.
I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior to this, has helped build a lot of goodwill I can burn through.
For the first time the current social climate has affected me severely too. My parents city is among the worst affected by Covid, and both my 80 yr old grandparents stay there. My anti-tribal-free-speech-absolutist and pro-equality-altruistic self have put me in a moral crisis as the BLM movement has picked up. Then today morning my favorite blog closed because of an attack by cancel-police. My country is on the cusp of actual war. I also spilled my coffee twice in the last 2 days and that makes me irrationally frustrated.
On the bright side, I have no suicidal thoughts. None of my relationships have been destroyed (yet). I still have my job and I know the cause of my current state is temporary. I've started therapy, which should start helping any moment now. Covid has affected people in worse ways, so I'm quietly trudging along.
Worst 3 month period of my life outside the one time I was depressed + alone . Now I am just depressed.