I've taken a crack at adjusting the headline to use language from the article's opening paragraph. However, you're still only getting 1 of your 4. Have an ombudsman, at least.

If there were a way to squeeze banks in there, that'd be good too, but the 80 char limit stymied me.

Generally we take individuals' names out of titles rather than add them in, and adding "AFME" would be adding noise since few readers will have heard of it. In any case, it doesn't seem to matter as much which lobby group the director joined or which director it was who joined a lobby group.

I've suggested "EU Ombudsman criticises banking regulator executive director joining AFME lobby".

(Original is "Watchdog slams EU agency for letting boss join lobby group".)

"slams" is a particular tabloid word as well. I don't think ever seen it used outside of a headline.

It's a tabloid word but it's chosen primarly for being short.

See also the the old Variety headline about rural movie-goers avoiding films set in rural communities: 'Hicks Nix Sticks Flicks'

It's a throwback to when subs had to get punchy compact headlines on paper and didn't have to worry about SEO

"Book Lack in Ongar" is my favourite.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2002/jan/26/books.guardian...

May favourite was the one that never got used. For years sub-editors hoped that former Labour leader Michael Foot would be put in charge of the organisation overseeing the decommissioning of weapons in Northern Ireland.

... just so thy could write:

Foot Heads Arms Body

Sadly, it never came to pass.

Seems like it's primarily used for weather events, e.g. Hurricane X slams into Florida.

It's also pretty widely used in politics coverage across many news sites. I did a quick search of WaPo, NYT, BBC, etc. and they all had a few headlines that used it like this.

I've heard teenagers use it when gossiping. Though that's been a while now.