I've fallen for women who haven't fallen for me and vice versa . I don't feel like I'm looking for too attractive. In fact too attractive, as in model looking, is generally a turn off as I'm prejudice to believe they'll be high maintenance.
Rather I keep looking for a "soul mate" type and as an atheist science oriented geek, at least in my circles, it's hard to find my female counterpart. It's a selfish reason I wish there were more women in tech. Every job I've had has been 90-98% men. In general the women I meet are either spiritual/superstitious (believe in things I can't support as a partner) or they just have zero common interests. I'm not looking for a clone but I'd love to meet someone who can share a few passions more than just generic "travel" and "food" but they are few and far between.
I'm sure I am "self sabotaging" but "I found myself attracted quite often to people’s personalities such that I am totally blinded to what they look like" matches me to some extent. I can't say I'm totally blinded but it's definitely a huge attractive attribute, more than looks.
I had a roommate who confessed to me he had never been in a relationship. He was 30, average looking or around that and it turned out he was rejecting any average looking girls while constantly being rejected by very good looking girls, way out of his league. He had no experience, seemed desperate etc but would not lower the bar at all.. I was getting the feeling that he was self sabotaging somehow. Not sure how it eventually turned out, we lost touch a while ago, but I surely hope he stoped obsessing over looks and just got into some relationship and took it from there.
Personality is underrated these days. I found myself attracted quite often to people’s personalities such that I am totally blinded to what they looke like. And personality can be worked on throughout ones lifetime, looks are pretty much genetics. And working out has at some point of diminishing returns. I’ve seen guys who try to better looks by building some muscle but often don’t know when to stop.