Personally, I'm an intorvert and just working together with people makes me tired enough to not want to participate in extracurriculum activities with the team, even if it is entertainment. If it means something is wrong with my team, then something was wrong with my team at every place where I worked. I do some activities with the team just not to seem too weird - it's not a huge effort and not a big discomfort, but usually I would rather prefer to be elsewhere.

Personally, I love all of the opportunities to hang out with other team members. We spend our working hours together, getting to know each other outside of work means that I get to work with my friends all day. It's awesome. You make a good point about that sort of thing become less enticing as you get older. We have a young team though, so it works out for the most part.

That said though, we have people on the team who never come to any of the outside events, and I wouldn't say that they are treated any differently. Everyone's free to make their own choices in this matter. At the end of the day, if they enjoy the work and we all get along, no one cares what you do when you go home.

If something universally appealing, like going to a nice restaurant or seeing a popular movie like The Social Network, you decided to opt-out of, I would be pretty put-off as an employee, or manager, if you chose not to attend.

Few things happen for individuals - if you declared that you didn't want to spend time with your company, socially, that says you don't really love your job - because the people, and the committed, single vision that comes with it is what makes that adoration arise. If you don't love your job, I question what great things you can truly do, given that non-commitment.

So, sure, you can be OK and opt-out. But if you do, I'm pretty certain that's exactly all you can be.

Restaurant, yeah, I get that. And now and then group activities - sure. But weekly frisbee outings at the beach, etc - too much.

I'm a bit wary of people who love the idea of working for someone else, period. If you love a job, I question what great things you can do.

Of course, many people from all walks of life do accomplish great things in all capacities, so perhaps judging someone based on your own view of what they should and shouldn't love is a tad short-sighted.

BTW, if JC isn't participating in all those group outings, what message is that sending to everyone else? They're socially pressured in to company rah-rah BS while he's above it?

EDIT - just saw a JC reply re: activities. Cool enough - no t everyone can make everything. Got it.

Depends on the restaurant. If I don't like, for example, italian food, and the company goes to an italian restaurant, I may want to opt out. What if everyone else loved italian food and always wanted to go there? I would argue that there really isn't very much that is universally appealing.

What these outings and perks provide is a certain level of balance.

Additionally, I think that one can find so much inspiration for innovation in areas that are totally unrelated to the tech magic they may focus on at work.

I find inspiration and ideas in the most amazing places, almost all of which come from talking to non-technical people about what it is they do and seeing amazing opportunity to change the way they work, fill a void in an industry or create something based on a need.

limiting your feedback loop to your small, albeit talented pool of resources, is still a limited feedback loop.

Jason, I have a challenge for you: Have some team, or staff of at least five people take a vacation off-grid: NO (Smart)phone, NO email, NO Internet at all - get them all a moleskin notebook and 5 days of staying out of the office, but out of their homes with no access to the online world and challenge them to come back with some ideas that were formulated from their talking to, interacting with and observing the world around them. (They can use voice-phone only for family)

They need journal the week by hand - and none can interact with eachother.

Have them return with the goal of a list of goals/ideas/opportunities.

I think this would reveal a lot about the team and your work ethos.

Or it just says that you love your family more than you love your job. That's hardly outrageous.

edit: can't reply to jpwagner again(?): re: "forced" not appearing in the original text. Have you never felt social pressure to do something, even (especially) when someone indicated something was 'totally optional'?