My experience is that attitudes are often quite different if you look like a Chinese person.
So after about the 5th time like that, we had the argument. It turns out that she was just being scared and telling me to be careful, not knowing how an English speaker would take that contextually.
You should also keep in mind that the people that are saying this to you have already learned a complete another language and alphabet (since they are presumably communicating with you in English).
Asking someone to be ashamed of not having entirely elective knowledge isn't "live and let live." Nor would that strike me as being likely to be productive. Instead, you should describe how desirable and rewarding that knowledge is.
Maybe my interpretation isn't that common? (pause to google)
Apparently it is the common accepted meaning:
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/it-s-a-shame-what-a-s...
The People's Republic of China doesn't think of itself as a "Nation State." Instead, it thinks of itself as a "civilization state." A part of PRC's self appointed charge is to prevent the marginalization of Chinese civilization.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imhUmLtlZpw
When I was working in Houston, it was a regular occurrence for me to meet yet another Chinese born employee of whatever corporation I was in, who would soon after ask me if I could read Chinese characters, then say it was a "shame" I couldn't. I'm not even Chinese, so I find this a bit parochial. I'm aware of the importance of Chinese characters in the culture of East Asia, but still, there's something a bit too self important about it.
Now, many years later, I'm married to a Chinese woman. Even she gives me this guff! It's like they're trying to match the attitude level of the French.
(EDIT: If you know of something wonderful more people should know about, most of the time, you should try to share it as a direct experience. That way, you're more likely to get across the magic and you're less likely to come across as a lecture.)