How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality

Re:How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality by arkona on Thursday September 28, 2017 @11:59AM (#15358142)

> It was obvious that the box was in the way, that it needed to be put back. It would have been easy for him to just reach up and put it away, but instead he had stepped around it, willfully ignoring it for two days. It was up to me to tell him that he should put away something he got out in the first place.

> “That’s the point,” I said, now in tears, “I don’t want to have to ask.”

This kind of irrational thinking ended a relationship for me.

> why don't you care about me? Why aren't you able to anticipate exactly how I want you to behave at every moment?

> because I'm not in your head, you damn stupid b

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Re:How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality by sctb on Thursday September 28, 2017 @01:44PM (#15359234)

Please try to be more civil and thoughtful when you comment here and leave out parts that clearly violate the guidelines.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

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Re:How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality by mercutio2 on Thursday September 28, 2017 @12:15PM (#15358295)

Are you really arguing that most adults don’t realize that taking down a box which has a specific home then not putting it away for a few days is mildly annoying and irresponsible?

That someone would magnify mild irritation into a source of tears does sound like a communication break down, but... this was a pretty good example of a reasonable expectation from any housemate.

Having to be the nagging asshole is, in fact, work.

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Re:How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality by arkona on Thursday September 28, 2017 @01:01PM (#15358815)

It is a symptom of much deeper irrational thinking patterns. The whole point of the article is the woman complaining that her husband misunderstood how she wanted him to handle the cleaning of the bathroom. She did not tell him specifically what she wanted, instead she expected that he reads her mind and figure it out. This is not how human communication works or should work.

Also breaking out in tears over such an innocuous thing is textbook emotional manipulation.

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