If you're interested in reading more about this there's a great Atlantic article about Scott Aaronson going through something similar. [1]
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrupulosity [1] https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/01/the-blo...
Its fine to think whatever you want, imagine murdering your boss, having sex with the coffee machine, whatever you want, that's happening in your brain, doesn't effect anyone else. It's a bit much for >every< girl though, that sounds like a deeper issue.
>This normally doesn't leak out, but for some women, I will give them "eyes" and usually feel bad about it afterwards. But that can be persistent, and for the woman, must be kind of creepy feeling.
Unless you are being creeper and staring like a weirdo all the time then I doubt they notice.
If you are being a creeper and staring 24/7, then you have deeper issues with restraint and politeness that need to be sorted out.
>I'm at a loss as to how a man changes this somewhat foundational part of the brain.
I think most guys can cope fine, I'd wager most guys have some racey thoughts about co-workers, but the difference between that and being creepy/unprofessional is that its in your brain and you keep it there. Restraint is kind of a "foundational" part of modern life.
I sometimes have brain farts where I imagine some bad/evil/wrong/painful thing done by me or to me and for a short moment feel almost like it's real. For example, today I thought about stabbing someone's eye with a teaspoon I was holding at the time. It's unpleasant. If I imagine something like that happening to me for longer periods, I probably wouldn't want it.
> Unless you are being creeper and staring like a weirdo all the time then I doubt they notice.
If OP says they notice, they notice. People notice almost everything but consciously act on almost nothing. Sometimes they don't like their own reactions and pretend not to see. One can fall into the trap of trying to find signs of non-noticing only to constantly keep seeing minuscule involuntary signs of noticing. Sometimes feeling like you creep others out makes you behave nervously and actually creep them out.
Maybe it's better to be open that these things happen but yet they absolutely don't communicate any will for serious real-world consequences. Or dunno, ask some psychologist.
As a not-particularly-conservative Christian, I kind of hated the book. Among other things it's got a sort of warped view of the problems with non-consensual interactions / objectifying women (there's one particular scene where there's a youth group leader and a member who's literally too young to consent, and the book puts more emphasis on the youth group leader being unfaithful to his wife than on him statutorily raping the kid). I also got the distinct feeling that I have this problem far less than any of the people in this book. But a number of friends have told me that they got a lot out of the book, so, maybe it'll resonate with you.
Bad advice or this gentleman, for now.
Of course, as a disclaimer, I telecommute, so I'm rarely in physical contact with the women I work with. I'm also a Buddhist, so I have a lot of practice letting my thoughts go.
Put your female colleagues in the sister compartment of your brain.
Besides, thoughts are just thoughts. You can choose to try to not act on them
The ratio of women board members, executives, and engineers is far higher in China than in the U.S.
I think you're being down voted because of a combination of false premises and arguing a strawman, "eliminate gender." Nobody is trying to do that.
The former can be achieved without the latter - just jail people who dare to discriminate against women, problem solved. Soviets managed to implement this even in Muslim states, go figure.
The latter is how the former is being attempted in the West and some are skeptical.
Men and women are different. Women have decided that they don't want to be women any more. The results have been disastrous. Families are falling apart today. 60% of people in prison come from home without dad. We have more money than ever, and less happiness. People are so silly. They confuse money and power with happiness. Incidentally all the divorce that comes thanks to women actually leads to more poverty. (2/3 of divorces among college educated come from women)
Most people have been thoroughly brainwashed. There are only a rare few like Neo who the programming just doesn't quite work for.
IMO, you should seek therapy. You sound like you need it more than most.
In seriousness, I'm pointing out the absurdity of being so surprised that this kind of thing still exists. We are fighting one of the most fundamental drives of not only the human race, but [non asexual] life itself.
This is what he said, that's why I suggested a therapist. He constantly thinks about having sex with his female coworkers, and the ones that he feels the most attracted to he will give "eyes" to. Then he feels guilty afterwards. These are abnormal reactions. I wasn't talking about YOU, I was talking about HIM.
If you can't get your work done without thinking about having sex with your coworkers, you need to see a therapist.
With few exceptions, I cannot work with a woman without thinking about having sex with her. It's not like I'm trying, it's more like the thought is a blinking red light and I can't help but look at the thought. Then I realize the thought is absurd, but it's already happened. This normally doesn't leak out, but for some women, I will give them "eyes" and usually feel bad about it afterwards. But that can be persistent, and for the woman, must be kind of creepy feeling.
I'd love for this to not be the case, but after years of it, I'm at a loss as to how a man changes this somewhat foundational part of the brain.
The women for whom I don't have that thought almost always follow remarkably strict professional conduct to a T. The equivalent for a man would be top-button done up and formal slacks every day, never smiling. I actually really like working with these women because it's kind of a relief.