1. Spend five minutes looking out a window, not doing anything, not talking, not looking at your phone, not thinking about work or errands, but just trying to be present. I focus on breathing evenly and relaxing my muscles wherever I feel tense, and I find that my brain appreciates the break from its usual stressors.

2. If I'm experiencing negative emotions, I take 5-10 minutes to think about why I am feeling those emotions, and what I'm going to do about it. No communication, no phone, no computer. Like the author of the article said, the goal is to let myself feel bad and move on rather than to avoid it. This is sometimes harder than other times. For example, after a breakup "5-10 minutes" might actually be a 30 minute walk through the park to sort out my feelings before going back to work.

I find that both of those exercises help me reduce my emotional dependence on technology so that while I do still feel the impulse to reach for my phone, I don't find it hard to resist because I have no emotional investment in the phone, apps, etc.

Also helps that all of my friends know that I am often slow to respond to texts. When there are no expectations of immediate responses, it's much easier not to feel pressured into eternal communicative vigilance.

I have a smartphone, but don't use it except for texting and making calls. Since I have maybe 10-20 calls or texts a week, I usually don't take my phone to work. For me, email at work and a phone at home is enough for setting up appointments and leading a satisfactory social life. It's a great relief not carrying this nagging tracking device around with me all day.

I don't understand what's the great thing about smartphones. They are much less convenient to use than a desktop or laptop for most of the things I do (emailing, web surfing, software development). (what things are so important that need the mobility or the special devices not typically found in desktops such as touch, GPS, camera? Maybe if I played Pokemon Go or had selfie-taking or QR scanning addiction...).

I also totally hate when I have to share others' attention with their smartphones. Personally I've learned to embrace or even enjoy boredom, or watching out the window, or sitting in a bar drinking beer, thinking of nothing at all. I feel my head is working underneath, and I need the balance I get from doing nothing conscious. A quote from Pulp Fiction that I like: “‎That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.”

However my big problem is dealing with computers at work, and sitting in front of them 8-10 hours a day, at work and at home. When I don't feel productive (most of the time -- I try to make good decisions in my software designs, and thoughts need time to settle), my time is spent randomly clicking links on news sites, HN and twitter (barely sending, mostly consuming).

I would really like to be more productive and consume less unimportant news. However knowing I'm not a genious I doubt that more isolation will improve my productivity.

My phone goes into Do Not Disturb about an hour before bed, and I place it face down on the nightstand.

I read daily before bed to wind down.

I've considered revisiting psychedelics, but it's been a long time since college!

I exercise daily, mostly high intensity aerobic, pushups, pullups, situps, indoor rowing, or hiking.

The phone stuff is really getting out of control, and I'm not sure what the solution is for less disciplined people. Dating sucks, going out socially sucks, going to concerts sucks, all because of the pervasiveness of the modern phone.

When I deleted my Facebook, I lost friends. But if my friendship with someone relies on my having a Facebook then, well, fuck them. I text people or call. I also don't need to know what everyone is up to, either. They can tell me when we talk or hang out.

Coincidentally, the friends I lost where the type of people who are on their phones the entire time we hung out, so I don't consider it much of a loss.

I consider Facebook -- for me -- wasted time, though, and I didn't enjoy it. If you do like it and you're comfortable with the platform (because, tbh, I'm one of those tin-hat security nuts, too, and Facebook skeeves me out on principle), then keep it. Or, if you're curious, disable it for a week and see what happens. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.

It really cuts down on the crap.

[EDIT] remove (mild) snark

One thing is clear though, immersion without awareness is inherently unhealthy. The first step toward finding one's way is awareness or a reminder of the awareness you once had.

For me I would say 90% of people on my feed I have not spoken with in over a year or two. Some not for 5 years, some not for 10 years.

So the question is, is it really worth my time to read updates on their life when neither of us can be bothered nor have reason to actually talk to each other? Be it in person, or over the phone, or a personal e-mail.

I think for many people, they spend way too much time reading about other people's lives. People who they no longer see or interact with in any way outside of Facebook.

The other ill effect is that most people only tend to post positive things on Facebook. If you don't talk with them outside of Facebook you are getting a one sided view of their life. Everything may seem perfect. They love their job. They keep going on interesting vacations. Getting nice things. Going out to eat etc.. And it can make you depressed that your own life isn't as fun or interesting. The truth is they likely have just as many bad days and hardships as you, but don't publicize that information. A one sided view can cause jealousy and resentment. If Facebook is your only window in their life, you probably shouldn't be concerning yourself with what these people are doing.

Speaking for myself, I've had some interesting and fun conversations on Facebook and even met new people that became friends in real life. I don't pay much attention to the check out how wonderful my life is posts and more attention to something that seems more genuine, is interesting, or the basis for some banter. I actually enjoy seeing pictures of people's families and they seem to enjoy when I post pictures of my son but I don't do that very often.

I've already accounted for the positive bias on Facebook so it does not affect my view of the world. I'd imagine most people who've survived on Facebook this long have done the same, not to mention I think the nature of posts has gotten beyond the burnishing one's image to more balanced life challenges sort of posts. I'm talking about my feed so others might not be seeing this trend but it's possible a lot of people have said fuck it I'm going to tell the truth on here.

I am friends on Facebook with close friends and family but yes a lot of my "friends" are a hodgepodge of people I met once, met online somehow, and some I don't even remember where they came from. So the net result is a sort of fantasy community. I'm not sure there's anything wrong with a fantasy community though as I experience it as real. I'm not sure if that's a contradiction but I'd better get off HN for the rest of the day as this is topic is consuming. :-)

You're absolutely right, though, and it's something a lot of people recovering from this or that addiction don't typically understand: solutions to addiction exist on a personal level, everyone has to find their own, and absolute abstinence isn't necessarily required. I've encountered lots of addicts who've tried to tell me that I can or can't do this or that thing or else I won't be sober.

The distinction between me doing something, like reading a physical book, in an addictive manner vs not is exactly what you said: awareness.

Of course, I'm responding to comments in this thread partially because I'm avoiding an anxiety-provoking creative project to use as a means of getting a job. Awareness is key, but apparently something else is needed. My guess is it's emotional support (or at least that's what it is in my case).

We all might look back at this moment as the moment it all changed, we all held our heads up and made eye contact. We put away the devices. Cats slept with dogs. And dogs slept with donkeys. There was something different about the world that morning.

I'm glad I stumbled on this thread even though I sort of argued with myself today whether I should regret the time spent on this thread or not. I won the debate.

I think the key is balance.

The only thing (it's big though) I can think of on the bad side of the ledger are that it's easy to be consumed. I've resisted the worst manifestations that can actually kill other human beings: I NEVER, EVER look at my phone while driving. There's no justification for risking the lives of other human beings for that. I don't walk and text as it's annoying as fuck to someone walking the other direction.

What I need to do is restore balance. I would imagine that's what most people need. They don't need to do what Andrew Sullivan did. This could be the online addiction using me a sock puppet, though...

At the end of the day I'm offering these people direct access to me multiple times daily. If I don't get a positive outcome from these interactions, why keep them around?

The privacy/notification tools on each site update over time and so do our interests in people and topics, so it makes sense to go in and jig things around every once in a while.

For me, it's all about latency: I try to introduce a barrier for being able to access typical time-wasting sites. If there was a way on OS X to reduce browsing certain websites to pre-broadband speeds, I'd be all on that.

> For personal things, I deleted Facebook and feel quite a bit better.

I did this too. So glad, don't miss it at all, and actually feel like I talk to my friends more now as a result.

I'm still on the fence about contributing to a community like HN (anyone looking at my profile will see a big gap of about a year). It's a nice community with useful discussions, but I'm not sure it positives outweigh the negatives for me (distraction).

I also try to get my news via newsletter now, e.g. I get the top HN articles emailed to me rather than checking the website manually. That way I get to stay up-to-date without that 'slot machine' effect of just refreshing the front page when I'm taking a break.

Overall, I strongly believe the Internet is addictive. I'm glad it exists. It's enriched my life in many ways. But the addictiveness is certainly real, and it's something I'm trying to actively address in myself.

It's kind of like having a dedicated block of time to reply to all your emails vs. replying to them as they arrive in your inbox. I find that it reduces multitasking and increases focus.

- Close any social media account not used for your job.

- Stop using GPS unless in dire emergencies, even in foreign cities. Buy a map, ask directions.

- Read physical newspapers and books.

- Text people only for coordinating where to physically meet up, no conversations.

- Take up a sport and interact with your friends face to face more.

- Use your phone literally as little as possible. Start with a cold turkey period, and then re-introduce slowly.

Among people who can afford a smartphone, which is a wide swath from the working poor on up, it seems like _everyone_ is swiping at their phones all day. I like to imagine them in as many variations as possible: judges, programmers, hells angels, movie stars, school children, cops, window washers hanging from a rope...[1]

It then becomes fun to try to think of people you don't see using phones as much: construction workers (too busy with hands), surfers (in water and heavy surf), astronauts maybe ?...

[1] http://www.boredpanda.com/portraits-holding-devices-removed-...

There is no innate problem with facebook, slack, or computers or screens or any other similar thing. The problem is that you are getting distracted. You are not fully present with what you are doing. Thinking that facebook is a problem is just grossly misleading.

When you have fixed your internal issues, you will not care how many websites or LCD screens are around you. You will do what you want, when you want it.

Telling this to an average person is next to pointless, because they are so unconsciouss that they will not understand it. They have lost touch with the notion that they actually have a choice of whether to be distracted or not, they have a choice in how to feel in every single moment. Since you already experiment with the stuff you wrote about, you just might though.

For someone who is in deep unconscioussness, who lacks knowledge about themselves, who is constantly distracted and who eats junk food that does not provide their brains with enough nutrition, etc. - trying to do simple dumb things like "I'll only look at facebook 10 minutes a day" - sure it might give some results. But once you've gained some basic groundedness - it just becomes ineffective to look at specific distractors, and much more effective to look at deeper issues within you that cause distraction in the first place.

Your careers are social obligations are all things you do by choice. I'm not saying you can drop all your careers and live without money, but you have the power to make career related decisions that will give you more time for yourself. Can you temporarily pause one of your careers to give you more time with yourself? Are your social obligations all meaningful to you? If not, it's okay to say no when invited to events that aren't meaningful to you in some way. You end up with obligations because you choose to take them on. You have the power to choose yourself instead, at least some of the time.

At you end of the day, if you don't make time for introspection and relaxation, you might find yourself burned out and failing to meet your obligations no matter how hard you try to work.

I just meant that all those things also do take time and, more importantly energy. Like the mental energy to keep yourself from looking at facebook, or the energy to keep an excercise schedule, etc.

And so after a certain point, you should switch more of that energy from "dumb" solutions to more intelligent, deep and wise solutions like introspection, meditation, specific work with your fears/feelings ("shadow work" as some call it), going through important memories, talking about this with your loved ones, etc. etc.

> the point where my mind often cries out for it if I go without for a while.

Especially when you notice that some part of you cries out for something like this - is usually a very good time to find time and energy to do this. Your system actually tells you what you need. And even if nothing superbad happens if you ignore such signals every once in a while, if you repeatedly ignore them - the signals will stop coming and you'll become even less conscious about this part of your life. Until this behavior will cause some actual crisis (life, social, health, mental health, you name it) that will actually force you to return to listening to your signals.

But it will be much more comfortable and better in the long run if you don't let it come to this and listen to them already, especially if you are even at this point already sensitive enough to recognize them. (Many people don't even recognize such internal signals, so it's actually pretty great that you have this.)

> How does one find the time to oneself when the world demands ones time? If I try to put it simply, it's by recognizing that you are actually a more important and close being to you, than the world around you, or your obligations, your practical goals, work, or sometimes even people who try get something from you. Recognizing that giving yourself the needed energy and attention is actually the best way to achieve the life you actually want, even if it would mean giving up on some external things.

If you have a hard time squeezing even this out, then you might try "pay yourself first". The same tactic that's helpful for saving dollars, is helpful for creating the space for introspection. Doesn't matter if your work deadline is looming, or writing needs doing, as long as there's no physical emergency, the 30 minutes of planned sitting is priority.

"Generally, if it's not a major part of your life, 15 minutes every day would be most appropriate to gain positive benefits from the practice. However, if you're extremely busy while balancing many obligations and absolutely don't have the time to take 10-15 minutes every day, then you should take an hour. Possibly two. That is a sign that you need it far more than others."

Others may generally get similar other "recharging" introspective activities during their less frantic day. It's like asking how much water you should drink - drink a glass. But if you're so dehydrated that you can't lift the glass to your mouth, then you need far more than that. Feeling intense stress at inability to commune with yourself is just as severe symptom as dehydration; in the first world far more people die from that than from thirst.

Having many obligations doesn't necessarily mean that the best way to fulfill them is to spend all your time directly on them and no time on yourself to be able to do them effectively - especially in intellectual creative work. As in the classic parable of "sharpening the saw" (e.g. https://betterlifecoachingblog.com/2010/10/11/sharpening-the... lists it). If you have 8 hours to write an article or a software feature, then spending 3 hours to catch up on sleep debt, 1 on exercise and medidation and 4 hours on actual writing can easily mean more and better results than just working through that. I certainly have my share of late night work that was extremely unproductive due to tiredness and ultimately had negative value due to the unreasonable rate of introduced bugs - with hindsight, doing that work was a mistake, and simply sleeping to recharge for the next day would be more productive.

Also, if you say that you're suffering, that indicates that a change is needed. Much of our obligations are ultimately self-imposed and can be adjusted in long term. When the world demands something that you cannot sustainably give, saying 'no' is not a possibility, but a necessity.

A bit of a hyperbole but there are things in my mind that can only be acceptably expressed and understood by others when I write them as fictional worlds. Things programming can't express.

I used a client which enables me to mute most of the notifications, which is pretty nice.

> For personal things, I deleted Facebook and feel quite a bit better.

I like it, but I only check it once in the morning and once in the evening, from my desktop.

I don't have any social apps on my phone, except G+ — and it's hardly brimming with notifications!

But somehow, G+ has never been in the way for me. It almost feels like a grown up version of Facebook.

Yup, I really like it, although recently (as it's emptied out) the public communities have gotten significantly worse.

'Facebook for adults' sounds like a wonderful thing. My hope now is that maybe we can build it as a community, rather than as a product.

I still have some affection for G+, but … it's kinda like the affection one has for an awkward family photo from one's youth.

I'm inclined to agree.

We're working on a minimalist phone to help you disconnect and be more focused, through an intentionally limited feature set and smarter notification management. All the utilitarian tools you need to navigate 2016, none of the slot machines.

PM if you are interested in our beta test. We're also looking for a tech lead ;)

It's really easy to get caught up in optimizing the process you have, rather than choosing which processes best fill your needs.

2) Meditate.

3) Configure your phone to be in airplane mode or do not disturb as much as you can get away with it. Definitely when you sleep, but also for other times in the day.

4) Don't read news on weekdays. Save articles people send to you on Pocket, and subscribe to no more than 5 newsletters that you read only on the weekends. At the end of the weekend delete what you haven't read at https://getpocket.com/privacy_clear

When to multitask:

When commuting, read or listen to an audiobook.

I started a business that requires me to binge on everything I'm interested in online.

Doesn't work for everyone, but works for me.

And also I save $50 a month.

I put it away most of the day, and don't have any email reminders.

Get away with the least you can.

After a while, notifications etc. become bothersome and you'll actively find ways to get away from the noise.