Aside from the quality of the submitted article, this comment does not contribute to the discussion and invites a trail of predictably off-topic replies. Please comment civilly and substantively on HN, or just not at all.

The self-descriptions people use these days are so ludicrous it's hard to tell if it's satire. If I had a Medium account, here's how my description would read:

"Software Engineer, Philanthropist, Astronaut, Shark Hunter, Breaker of Chains, Lord Commander of the Snack Bin, Protector of the Repo, and Part-time Cat Dad"

Too much or just right?

"former philanthropist" would give it a kind of edgy feel

"I went backrupt philanthropying, that's how much I care!"

Add some beer brewing or artisan mustard, also "Educator". Makes you more well-rounded. "Philantropist" is always good.

"artisan mustard" lol

"Software Astronaut" maybe? I'd go for "Teacher" (just a little bit more gnomic than "Educator"), and put it before "Philanthropist", all segues nicely from "I'm a serious adidactic genius" to "but I've got a fun side"

'Part-time Cat Dad' doesn't sound plausible to me --- everyone knows that owning a cat is a full time job.

And as for 'Protector of the Repo'... basically what you're saying is that you're a repo man?

part time cat dad is totally plausible. my wife has three cats.

Don't forget "Father of 5 Children and 8 Bastards, Environmental Activist, Feminist, Intellectual, Playing 10 Instruments and Speaking 20 Languages, More Wifes than King Solomon"

storyteller

that seems to be really hot right now

Part-time Cat Dad. I love you! That's just perfect.

Put perhaps a little more coarsely than I would have, but I completely agree with the sentiment.

A[nother] minority view getting mainstream (for us) exposure because a few other dinosaurs and hipsters agree.

People need to chill out about this stuff. You don't like OOP? That's great but if it's alright with you, the rest of us are going to carry on with it while you fade into irrelevance.

Of course not everything fits an OOP flow but even Java (the very most verbose OOP IMO) will let you do things linearly or functionally if you want to.

I get your desire to deflate something you dislike. I know this calling-out of OOP, as in TFA, has become routine (e.g., Steve Yegge's posts were quite celebrated here, and that was years ago). Maybe you're tired of the banana quote, and thought this post brought nothing new.

But your comment is purely ad hominem -- to the point of calling the author a dipshit with absolutely no basis -- and does not engage TFA (breaking the first two comment guidelines at https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html).

You gotta admit it was quite funny. There needs to be balance. Let it be.

Agreed. Just about everything on Medium is crap. It's all designed to push the same social media narcissism button.

Do you have any suggestions for alternatives? I think HN does an excellent job of separating the person from the ideals.

HN has lots of great articles published on lots of different platforms. For whatever reason - reasons I certainly can't explain - Medium just attracts all the junk.

Oh damn, 72 points on HN, time to do a "How I reached >70 upvotes on HN and changed the way I think of myself" - Article on Medium ;)

It's missing "web artisan". So much self-entitlement.

>> It's missing "web artisan"

Snicker. I totally love this and am stealing it from you.

Artificial[1] Programmer

[1] in the sense 'workmanship'

> Bespoke website designer

webmaster.

begin? I've always hated it. I think it is called "medium" because it isn't well-done...

However, I don't think the style of this article is Medium's fault. I find it more and more common that I see a headline and have to skim through the whole article to find out what the point is. I don't know if it is from watching too many TED talks or just poor writing (not mutually exclusive, of course). But then I go read the comments and see tons of people commenting about how they loved the article and how well written it was so maybe it is me that is wrong.

On second though, no. It's the children who are wrong.

So basically, you've given zero actual counterarguments other than an ad hominem. Or let's go at it this way- How exactly did you expect someone to introduce themselves who felt they had something to say about OO in a negative light?

It's not just Medium. I get followers on Twitter who have that kind of bio, except that the bio words are separated by pipe signs. My bogofilter tells me that they are all likely part of a scam of the same group. Further confirmed by the content of their tweets, which follow a pattern.

If only t'was a scam. Praise the sun.

Well, I don't know much about the photographer and artist tags, but he was credited as writer on a few movies.[0] The "teacher" bit may be because he ran a training session somewhere, or was a TA or tutor at some point.

But, yeah. I agree with you.

[0] http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1099939/

I had the same reaction. We need more self-indulgent people!

Well he just said he wants to do functional programming. He did not mention OOP is dead and functional is the only future...

Usually not a fan of flavoursome language here but in this case it's apt.

Future mad science project ... build an RNN to generate random buzzy bios.

Only thing missing is "Father..."

Well he did leave an ellipsis at the end of the sentence, implying that the list isn't exhaustive. He could have many more grand titles and occupations. His headshot is also a Jobs-esque, black and white photograph of him wearing a black shirt. This must be satire, right?

agreed