Twitter announces layoffs

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by rokhayakebe on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @10:34AM (#10380699)

Team,

We're cutting 336 people from our workforce to strengthen the company.

We are deciding how to streamline Twitter, Vine, and Periscope to focus on projects with the greatest impact.

Moments, which we launched last week, is a great beginning. It's a peek into the future of discovery.

We'll offer each person a generous exit package and help finding a new job.

Engineering will be smaller but remain the biggest percentage of the organization, and other departments will be cut in parallel.

Thank you all for everything. As always, please reach out to me directly with anything.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by Mahn on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @10:56AM (#10380863)

Team,

We're cutting 336 people from our workforce. Sorry for that. We'll offer each person a generous exit package and help finding a new job.

Jack

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Re:Twitter announces layoffs by yuvadam on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:02AM (#10380904)

Team,

336 people will be fired. We hope it brings our stock price back up.

Jack

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by bshimmin on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:07AM (#10380949)

This is like corporate email golfing, I love it. I propose "Hey" instead of "Team".

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by masklinn on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:17AM (#10381021)

Hey,

Stock in the dumps, 336 chumps are fired.

Jack

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by ethbro on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:35AM (#10381142)

Plus side: would definitely fit in a tweet.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by flashman on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @06:29PM (#10383910)

@jack: "just slimming down my twttr"

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Re:Twitter announces layoffs by Mahn on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:37AM (#10381150)

Yo,

336 people out. We'll compensate.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by williamguerra on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @12:04PM (#10381354)

employees -= 336

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by butwhy on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @12:59PM (#10381775)

Hey, you stole Elon's schtick: https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/652605371857530880

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Re:Twitter announces layoffs by dexcs on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:44AM (#10381199)

Twitter's Servers are running autonom. We just do not need you anymore... Thanks... AI

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by fnordfnordfnord on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @12:08PM (#10381387)

    Error: No payroll records for your username. ("We fixed the glitch!"

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by masklinn on Wednesday October 14, 2015 @02:47AM (#10385321)

That's not far from reality either: https://twitter.com/bartt/status/653946266938818561

> I've been impacted by $TWTR's layoffs. This is how I found out this morning.

[screenshot of iOS account showing inaccessible @twitter.com account]

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Re:Twitter announces layoffs by superfunc on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @01:12PM (#10381870)

<3 office space

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Re:Twitter announces layoffs by phpnode on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @03:02PM (#10382689)

at least make it rhyme!

Hey, Stock in the dumps, firing 336 chumps. Jack

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by VLM on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:54AM (#10381274)

In this particular example, whats important is keeping the character count under 140, so your proposal wins 1 point. (insert golf clap). I will see your "Hey", and counter propose "Yo". That frees up two characters for use elsewhere vs the original "Team".

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Twitter announces layoffs by drb311 on Tuesday October 13, 2015 @11:21AM (#10381041)

That one's a proper improvement.

[ Parent | on HN ]