yikesonbikes

oh no can't believe you found me already (and definitely not the secret base of a youtuber who called my favorite video game dumb)

i sure hope you didn't call my employer at (312) 395-3146 and tell them that I (Kenny) have been a very bad boy

plz hurry & bring SWAT or i'll purge this bottle of every last phenylalanine i'll do it i swear

Since the "so whaddya do?" question usually comes up first, and the overwhelming majority of people are satisfied with "I work in tech", it's often trivial to parlay this into something like "I'd offer to search your phone to prove a point, but I also have admin access to The Database, so I can just read/modify/delete your records anyway. No use in getting my fingerprints all over a physical device. Say, what's your email/phone number?"

Forget about sharing their phone, they won't even share their phone number (or charge it from my laptop). Cowards.

elon plz hurry and notice me, they're downvoting this idea now

(posted from iPhone 6.9.3+d4e2a0b3ef at 37.986776, -76.187412 while drinking a refreshing Coke Zero and having my morning cigarette like you know i do everyday)

I turned on location services on Twitter just so Elon knew where I was at all times. I'm working on a bot that will upload all of my search queries and every bedroom conversation from my Alexa, then share it with him directly (since Twitter STILL lacks this feature)

Not that he cares, of course, but if it helps his bottom line, I figured "why not?"

He and Google (who are Good) will notice me any day now!

"So if there was anything I was considering doing where if it became public I would be hurt, I wouldn't do it."

Good boy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-censorship