I have the same reaction to perfectly straight teeth or teeth without canines. It looks like false teeth. Crooked teeth isn't a good look either, of course, but forcing out all natural variation just looks like someone's had a problem. Uncanny valley: like someone with a synthetic flesh on their artificial hand.
Good teeth don't have to look flashy?
To say something nice: People were extraordinary friendly and walked up to us from 20-30m (100 feet) away to help us when we looked even remotely disoriented :)
I hope you'd a good time while you were here! I recommend you see some other parts of the country. For instance, Cork and Galway are great cities.
On the other hand I have never seen the specific tracksuit+aviators combination you mention. In fact, while I have seen plenty of aviators in the wild (usually combined with jeans and t-shirt or maybe even a proper shirt), I don't think I have seen many tracksuits at all, much less Puma tracksuits. (I think if you wanna go for tracksuits you should definitely go for some authentic Adidas.) I mean, aviators are kind of a thing like, say, Chucks are a thing (you see them often enough to notice that quite a few people seem to wear the same sunglasses/shoes, but it's not as though a majority of people wears them) but tracksuits are not even that.
Or maybe we just travel in different subcultures. Germans living in Switzerland are probably quite unlike Germans living in Germany. And maybe we can generalize this even more: There can be quite a lot of diversity in different groups of people and our simplistic differentiation along nationalities is just not precise enough and our stereotypes fall short. I'm willing to bet that there are certain groups of people in Germany and Switzerland who are absolutely crazy about teeth whitening and for whom no shade of white can be white enough – both of us just don't know any of those people. And maybe it's not yet as popular here as in the US – but that's as it usually goes with these trends. I mean, the future is already here, it's just spread around unevenly – and the same is probably true for our teeth whitening future. (Or maybe we will leapfrog the trend and jump right beyond to the next trend of super-natural looking teeth-yellowing or something like that. Or maybe a competing trend will be adopted by different subcultures or something else altogether. I bet there are also plenty of people in the US who would never ever whiten their teeth.)
On the one hand, I hear that medical (and thus presumably dental) insurance costs a fortune, and even then the "co-pay" means that many hesitate to seek treatment. I can't imagine that "my teeth aren't as white as I'd like" is something insurance companies like paying for (or rather, they don't like paying for anything, but something purely cosmetic seems easy to deny), so how are people affording this? is it just the wealthy? If I wander around poorer areas, will I start seeing ordinary teeth?
You can get very effective peroxide gel kits on EBay for under $20 USD that whiten for many months.
There are some things that don't transfer so easily between where I live (switzerland, but I think germanic europe in general) and the u.s.: super white teeth, visible tattoos, and piercings. (although I'll see a small nose piercing on women every now and then)
(and if you're German, you should probably leave your puma track suit and aviator glasses at home when you go to the u.s.)