I'm not a lawyer, but a few come to mind. Vandalism, destruction of property? Employees don't have free reign to... ahem, defecate where they please at work just by virtue of being an employee.

It would almost certainly constitute Indecent Exposure, and possible Sexual Assault depending on who witnessed and various pieces of context.

If someone had peered upon the person pooping, the proprietor would presumably not have proceeded to procure the DNA to try to pinpoint the perpetrator. They could have prevailed upon the peeper to peg the punk.

Please post penuriously.

A person can't just poo anywhere they please! I really hope there's a law against pooing in non-lavatorial places.

In the UK, Damian Ayles was convicted for defecating on his neighbour's doorstep (as well as posting the faeces through a letterbox and smearing it on a car). He was ordered to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work and pay £350 in compensation and £85 costs: http://metro.co.uk/2015/03/25/phantom-dumper-caught-pooing-o...

Apparently there was both DNA and CCTV evidence in the case.