Examples include: Redmond, now 40, didn't want to leave her tech career. But she felt stuck, with no way to advance ; Chou, "The continuous pattern of all these people treating me like I didn't know what was going on, or excluding me from conversations and not trusting my assertions, all these things added up and it felt like there was an undercurrent of sexism"

Frankly this dismissive "misogyny is everywhere" attitude is pretty unhelpful. It isn't everywhere and even if it were it implies that it is somehow endemic to our culture which it isn't. Many industries actively support and encourage women especially in senior management positions.

Well, this happens to men as well. I'm a male engineer and not being asked, not being trusted is just how it works at my current job. YMMV

The reason why we are seeing negative reactions here might be that some people are seriously tired of everything being sexism.[1]

[1]: e.g. "Donglegate" Adria Richards, who cost two people their jobs because she 1.) most likely misunderstood a joke that was not meant for her 2.) misused female privilege (yes, they exist as well)

The issue arises around the fluff piece with your example: "Redmond, now 40, didn't want to leave her tech career. But she felt stuck..." Tell me 1 person in america that doesn't or hasn't felt this way in a career or a job. The real issue is...if those were men, we would not be having this conversation and you would be saying "suck it up".

I am explicitly arguing that not only that there is little to no misogyny it tech but even further, that the tech industry goes above and beyond to no be any of your favorite "- ists"

Have you never heard a sexist joke at work? That's misogyny in the tech industry. I'm not suggesting it's endemic to tech. I'm merely recognizing that we're not that far removed from a time where women couldn't vote and we still have laws on books that allow men to beat women as punishment in first world countries.

Tech has nothing to do with the disease. We're merely a more observant industry, so we tend to notice things like this before other industries and thus it somehow becomes a problem vs industry instead of just recognizing it as a problem. Tech isn't the only industry that is male dominated and I certainly wouldn't say that being male dominated necessitates sexism.

Hold on.

When my female friends make funny sexist jokes, is that misandry?

Sexist jokes are sexist, but I don't think sexist == misoginist/misandrist.

EDIT: To be clear, I mean when those women make sexist jokes about men. As in, sexism about/directed at men.

No, but it is misogyny. Well, At least my understanding of the word. I may be wrong in how the word is perceived, but I know the strict definition includes prejudice and making jokes that highlight prejudice may not indicate how you make decisions in life, but it puts prejudice in a good light and that has subtle but real impact on how people behave.

Where is the misogyny you see? I, like many others, see where we work as equal opportunity environments and note that the same opinion is shared by those considered minorities. If you've been exposed to something different, that's fine and can be a relevant addition to a discussion that you're flat out refusing to have because you consider your views as objective.

Perhaps you're saying that you are working to make your workplace an equal opportunity environment, in which case I congratulate you. Perhaps like my workplace, though, there are plenty of inequities, which I simply don't mention too often because I have work to do and I don't want to be seen as the troublemaker. Most of my male colleagues would testify that our workplace is an equal opportunity environment. This is easily demonstrably false if you line up salaries, office space, and academic credentials & publications (I'm at a university so it's relevant). I am indeed grateful to the (male) colleagues who look out for me and try to help me out. At the same time, they are often clueless and have no idea what my interactions with funders and administrators are really like. But complainers and depressing people are just less fun to hang out with, so I don't want to be one of them! Stay positive!

Anyone who is so ignorant as to deny the rampant misogyny in tech -- in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary -- is not someone who is going to be swayed by any appeal to reason and so I'm not going to waste my time in vain.

We need to examine why we're creating work environments that benefit aggressive personalities. In my job as an engineering manager, I've had to coach two male engineers to be more influential across the organization. This journey has been hard for them since they're the quintessential type-B personalities that are most happy simply getting their work done. But it's been made abundantly clear to me that they cannot advance beyond the Staff level without becoming more vocal leaders. I know this journey well since I've had to force myself into the same unnatural tendencies.

It frustrates me to hear stories like the one we're responding to. Women complaining about being shut out of discussions? I had the same thing happen and for quite some time and I had to constantly ask my manager why I wasn't included in certain meetings. Over time, I started getting invited to more. I've realized that getting my due promotions has required me to be somewhat of an asshole. I don't think my workplace, a large enterprise software company, is uncommon and that's a huge problem. Women complaining about being paid less for the same work? I've witnessed about 100 salary negotiations in my time as a manager and every female prospect has either undervalued herself or caved much too easily whereas most male prospects know their value and fight for it.

I think we can all agree that the outcomes, when women are underpaid, overlooked and made to feel unwelcome, need to change. But the processes that lead to those outcomes are incredibly complex and oversimplifying them does an incredible disservice. These issues are incredibly nuanced and when people like you deny that, you prevent the discussions that might lead to the understanding that is our only hope of remedying the situation.